READING BETWEEN THE HECKLERS

July 4, 2008

President Bush Attends Monticello's 46th Annual Independence Day Celebration and Naturalization Ceremony
Monticello
Charlottesville, Virginia

(This is an edited and abbreviated version)

THE PRESIDENT:

Thank you, and happy Fourth of July.

(Applause.)

I am thrilled to be here at Monticello. I've never been here before.

(Unless it was in another reincarnation)

(Audience disturbance.)

To my fellow citizens to be, we believe in free speech in the United States of America.

(Except for you liberal, terrorist-loving, left-over hippie protestors)

(Applause.)

And this is a fitting place to celebrate our nation's independence. Thomas Jefferson once said he'd rather celebrate the Fourth of July than his own birthday. For me, it's pretty simple -- the Fourth of July weekend is my birthday weekend.

(I’m so arrogant I can’t help myself)

(Applause.)

For some of you, today will be your first Fourth of July as American citizens.

(For many Americans, it may be one of their last, after having me as their Decider and Deceiver)

I'm honored that the Governor of the great Commonwealth of Virginia would join us, and Anne Horton.

(Audience interruption.)

Lieutenant Governor Bill Bolling, the Lieutenant Governor of the state of Virginia

(audience interruption.)

Thank you for coming.

(Audience interruption continues.)

Seems like I brought a lot of –

(Radical Rabble-Rousing Rubbish)

(Audience interruption continues.)

You know, long before anyone had ever heard of Crawford, Texas, (or Iraq)

Charlottesville, Virginia was the home to the first Western White House.

(My writers told me to say this. I wouldn’t have known to tell you this on my own)

The majesty of this home is a monument to the genius of Thomas Jefferson.

You just can't help but marvel at Thomas Jefferson's many accomplishments.

(And at my many disasters)

As a scholar, few were better read. He was known to have read five books at a time on a revolving book stand.

(Before I step through the revolving door and leave my job, I’ll be lucky to have read five books)

It seems Jefferson got away with only delivering two public speeches during his presidency. I'm sure a lot of Americans wish that were the case today.

(But like it or not, during my presidency I have delivered WARS and WORDS)

(Laughter.)

In a life full of accomplishments, Thomas Jefferson was especially proud of the Declaration of Independence. Looking back 232 years later, it's easy to forget how revolutionary Jefferson's draft was.

(I’ve nearly forgotten it myself)

(Audience interruption.)

At the time, some dismissed it as empty rhetoric. They believed the British Empire would crush the 13 colonies in the field of battle. And they believed a nation dedicated to liberty could never survive the world ruled by kings.

(Just like this nation may not survive my rule as a king)

(Audience interruption continues.)

Today we know history had other plans. After many years of war, the United States won its independence.

(Which left it for me and other leaders to exploit and plunder other lands for their oil, and to end their independence)

The principles that Thomas Jefferson enshrined in the Declaration became the guiding principles of the new nation.

(But they weren’t the principles that guided my presidency)

And at every generation (and at every bus station), Americans have rededicated themselves to the belief that all men are created equal

(Except for those who aren’t white Christians), with the God-given right to life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.

(Applause.)

We honor Jefferson's legacy by aiding the rise of liberty in lands that do not know the blessings of freedom.

(But it isn’t liberty or freedom that is rising in the lands of Iraq and Afghanistan,---it is DEATH and OPIUM)

Throughout our history, the words of the Declaration have inspired immigrants from around the world to set sail to our shores.

(And now I inspire terrorists from around the world to sail to our shores to kill us)

(Interruption continues.)

I congratulate you. I welcome you. I wish you all a happy Fourth of July. Thanks for inviting me. May God bless you, and may God continue to bless the United States of America.

(Applause.)

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!