Tuesday, November 25, 2008

READING BETWEEN THE LINES: FROM THE PALIN AND BEYOND---OR I DIDN'T KNOW THAT SOME TURKEYS WEARING LIPSTICK WERE BEHIND ME LOSING THEIR HEADS




Sarah Palin's Speech before the Republican Governor's Association
November 15, 2008

[This an extensively edited and abbreviated version]

PALIN: Thank you so much. Honored to be here. Get to speak with and to my fellow governors.
…in the great campaign that has come and gone---and it was great---one of the nicer experiences that we had along the campaign trail was seeing so many of my RGA colleagues.
[And I’m a big fan of Reggae music]

Each gave your all to the cause and were helpmates and positive additions to Senator McCain's good run.
[And believe you me he has a heck of a lot of good runs]

You were there to help when things were looking good and you were there to help when, once in a while, things weren't looking so good.
[Except for me, by heck, because I’m lookin’ good most of the time.]

[Applause]


And where I'm from in Alaska
[Where the antelope don‘t play---Just the moose---But not for long! And where you can see Russia from your kitchen],

life would be pretty lonely if all we had were fair weather friends…
Let me add that I was honored as well to have the support of a former RGA member, and his beautiful wife, who will soon return home from the White House to Texas.
[Or Paraguay]

In politics, people sometimes go to great lengths to avoid stating the obvious [Like me], but I think it's about time that we all remembered that the greatest measure of a president is whether he protected and defended this great country.
[Like George Washington did]

America's 43rd president took that foremost responsibility, that most important charge, seriously.
He poured his life into it.
[And the lives of many thousands of American soldiers…and the lives of hundreds of thousands of Iraqi citizens.]

He succeeded in keeping America safe from another attack.
[Because he was warned about the first one, it was a cinch to keep America safe after that.]

When I was introduced in Ohio as our party's nominee, it was humbling
[Not humbug], and I was proud to represent all of us.
[And not just the small towns with their pregnant hockey and soccer moms]

Look, we need to be greater participants in the monumental debates going on right now with the economic crisis that we're facing.
I look forward to a debate and Republican governors participating in this debate of what and when is enough enough.
[And when to end a sentence with one preposition instead of two]

And we need to not be afraid of interjecting
[!!!!!]
[Or injecting]
the solutions that we see based on free market solutions as those that can meet these great challenges.
[You can tell I wasn’t an English major]

And, again, with free market solutions we need to start considering those, debating those, plugging in those solutions.
[And plugging in those phones… plugging in those toasters… And those, those moose roasters!]

We want America to be able to trust their federal government again.
[And their president]

Now, looking back on the campaign, it was such a journey -- such a journey for my family. It was -- it was wonderful.
[Such glamour…so many lights…so many cameras…so much clothes]

But what a nice return we've had now to a place and to a life that we so dearly love in Alaska.
[Although wolves and moose aren’t too happy about our return]


Along the trail, it was my husband, Todd, who was my right hand.
[And my left hand was his]

And among his many willing -- winning qualities is the gift that he has of optimism and just thankfulness in all situations that he finds.
[Even when he’s not working on getting Alaska to secede from the U.S.A.]

And going forward, I'm going to count on those qualities a little more, even.

For years to come, I'm going to remember all the young girls who came up to me at rallies…
And I'm going to remember all the people along the way who said that they were praying for us.
And I remember folks like Joe the plumber, who -- yes, who spoke for so many
[who have their houses and bathrooms] when Joe the plumber, remember, he suggested that taking more of our families' and our small businesses' hard-earned money, what that does is stifle the entrepreneurial spirit that grew this country into the greatest country on Earth.
[Unless that money is used to pay the plumbers to unplug our gubernatorial toilets]

And thanks to Joe the plumber, people whom he was speaking for felt kind of comforted,
[to be able to sit on their toilets] like see, I'm not the only one who sees that, in this suggested policy that was proposed, that Joe the plumber kind of got out of Barack Obama that day.
[Why Joe the plumber was inside of Barack Obama I haven’t got the faintest]
That was valuable.
[I don’t think I know what the heck I’m talking about]

I'll not forget guys like Tito the builder
[And his muscular body].

And man, just these everyday hard-working Americans whom we would meet.
[Not all of our laid-back, barroom politicians]

And again, such a comfort that we had
[sitting on our toilets]
knowing that we aren't the only ones believing in America being the land of possibilities and opportunity
[with good toilets and good plumbers, like Joe the plumber],
but the federal government, man, it's got to play its appropriate role -- not get in the way of the progress of our families and our businesses
[Or toilets]---
and for their example and their love, too.
[Because there’s still plenty of love left to go around…whether it’s found inside of Airport bathrooms or brothels]

If the new Congress and president err on the side, for instance, of excess taxes, then it will be falling on us to show them a better way.
[OUR WAY IS EXCESS TAXES AND SPEND…SPEND…SPEND!]

Now, some things that we need to keep our eye on
[Myself, I like to use my right eye because I am always winking with my left eye].

If I remember correctly from the campaign, the new president and the congressional majority, they have their own ideas about energy policy. I didn't hear a lot from them about actual production of U.S. energy supplies that we need now to protect our economy and our nation from reliance on foreign cartels and dictators, those who use energy as a weapon.
[You can tell that I’m still a drill-drill, oil-addicted girl who possesses some large carbon cups…I mean footprints!]
…from the North Slope oil fields of Alaska to the outer continental shelf of Florida
[To the uranium soaked deserts of the Middle East…and to the uranium-filled cliffs of the great Grand Canyon],
we will press on with the great work of achieving energy security, and we can do this, we have to do this.
[And to heck with those inconveniences that are caused by some…OOOH…Global Warming]

We have the American energy sources, conventional and alternative.
[But you know which one I favor, because I’m your cute and cuddly drill-drill girl from Alaska!]

(APPLAUSE)

Other issues that we work on every day in our jobs in public service -- when it comes to, for instance, health care, the goal of affordable, accessible care is a goal that we all share. But there still are serious differences about how we reach this.
And I'm not going to assume that the answer if for the federal government to just take it over and try to run America's health care system -- Heaven forbid.
[Because the insurance and pharmaceutical companies are reaping far too many profits]


And, now, finally in every great reform effort there is an element of self-reform. We must see reform within
[Our homes…our bathrooms…our kitchens…our offices]

The costs of war and security alone -- that cannot explain a federal debt that's grown to more than $10 trillion.
[I, of course, have to say this to defend the Republican party who threw us into Iraq]

Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)
IT’S THE OIL STUPID!


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