Tuesday, November 03, 2009

COWS MORNING THUNDER AND METHANE GAS





FART FACTS


Farts burn with a blue or yellow flame.
(We all needed to know this.)

The crinoid is a marine creature whose anus is located next to its mouth.
(Does it put its money where its mouth is?)

People fart right after they die.
(One final blast with a killer-smell?)

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COWS

Hold the mayonnaise and ketchup!
Hold the mustard and onions!
In fact...hold the burgers, too!

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COW FARTS


Cows are full of gas.
They burp their methane gas.
(They don't fart around.)

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HAMBURGERS AND MILK


Most of us enjoy both, but at a cost:
Cow farts might cause more global warming than human farts.
Holy cow and I'll be cow-kicked!

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Study claims meat creates half of all greenhouse gases

Livestock causes far more climate damage than first thought, says a new report

By Martin Hickman, Consumer Affairs Correspondent
November 1, 2009
http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/climate-change/meat-creates-half-of-all-greenhouse-gases-1812909.html

***

P.S.

I'm posting this old one (below) again.

Tuesday, January 22, 2008

MEAT HEADS CARROT TOPS AND GLOBAL WARMING


Paul McCartney is recommending that we become vegetarians.

Don’t tell McDonalds or Burger King this.

I suppose we will still eat our Whoppers and Big Macs until Global Warming has melted all of the glaciers and ice caps; until the deserts have become seas once again; until our eyeballs are popping out of our dumb heads from the sizzling temperatures.

We died while having fun; we died while eating our burgers.

I tried to be a semi-vegetarian one year.

I was actually a lacto-vegetarian.

I ate cheese (without any enzymes), usually on whole wheat bread that I sometimes baked, but otherwise bought at the health-foods stores.

I occasionally drank low-fat dry milk.

I ATE TONS OF BAKED POTATOES (showered with a lot of sea salt!).

I lost my urge to eat hamburgers.

I didn’t eat any fish or chicken.

Paul McCartney claims that global warming can be slowed down if cows produce less methane gas; and so, by becoming vegetarians, we can reduce the number of cows belching and breaking wind.

I don’t know if all of this is scientifically accurate, but I will look into it.

I had a cheeseburger for lunch today.

It was cold outside.

No sign of global warming yet.

Moo.


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