Tuesday, April 24, 2018

EVOLUTION


"In the beginning, nearly fourteen billion years ago, all the space and all the matter and all the energy of the known universe was contained in a volume less than one-trillionth the size of the period that ends this sentence." 
 NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON


The above sentence is as perplexing and mysterious to me as the process called evolution.  Mr. Tyson at least provides us with some comfort by also writing: 

"The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."








Man

Man
Once
Had
Tiny
Bones
In
His
Tail
But
Were
These
From
The monkey or the whale?
Holy cow!
Man had muscles in his ears
And somehow
Wiggled them to show his fears.
Was this Creation or Evolution?
Is man a God's Divination...
Or
Some Devil's Abomination?
By M.L. Squier








Evolution is a mighty and mysterious process.

Evolution took just a few million years before humans started using their skateboards and cell phones.

What did apes do except eat bananas and swing from trees?

And now we incarcerate them.

We've come a long way, baby!


*


Did Darwin believe that humans descended or ascended from the apes?

I always get those two mixed up.

I guess an answer might be found in the history of the human race, and what it has done and is doing to itself and the planet.

Maybe we've come too far.

But there is no turning back.

Evolution is a steam roller and roller coaster.


*


Is God a product of evolution, or is evolution a product of God?

https://madplatonews.blogspot.com/2009/07/dolphins-whales-apes-and-men.html





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND EVOLUTION



Monday, March 12, 2018

AMERICA IS GOING TO POT





Some would say that America has already gone to pot.
Recreational marijuana is legal in nine states and medical marijuana is legal in 29 states.

But the going has been going on for some time.


*

I stopped my journey on the road of pot almost fifty years ago.
I wasn't on the road very long, but I enjoyed the journey.

*

I always smoked a joint when I watched the Dick Cavett show.

*

Many years ago, after I quit my first job as a teacher, I smoked pot incessantly for a few months.

*

I wouldn't want my pilot or bus driver to be a pothead.
Pot is for recreation.
For the weekends.
Unless your “job” is smoking pot because you don't have a real job.

*

North Korea's dictator Kim Jong Un should smoke pot.
Just keep him away from his nuclear button when he is stoned.

*

Vice President Pence is in favor of marijuana prohibition. 
He looks pretty stoned already.


*

In college I smoked only a few times.
The very first time was after I had seen a production of the play Zoo Story.
One of the theater's exits led directly outside to the side of a mountain.
I was laughing so hard I nearly fell into a ravine.

*

During my stint of incessant smoking I was sitting on the sofa in a friend's house.
A person next to me asked what sign I was.
I am a Libra, but I told him that I was a stop sign.
I guess that might sum up what happens when you smoke pot.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND POT






Wednesday, January 03, 2018

DO OR DIE






OR





Kim Jong Un and President Donald Trump can avoid war.

Each nation is throwing...I mean, each leader is throwing their rhetorical missiles at each other.

This can end.
This must end.

How?
Simple.

Let these two leaders put on the other's do.
That is, hairdo.

When each looks into the mirror, they might think twice about how and what they say.

Gee, that's me with the other dude's do. I can't drop bombs on him who looks like me.”

As bad as both hairdos are, they still could appease each leader.

The size of their buttons is another matter.

Size does matter when it comes to nuclear buttons.

Maybe their buttons can look like each other's hairdo, too.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES HAIRDOS AND NUCLEAR BUTTONS


Thursday, November 02, 2017

JELLYFISH MEMORY AND THE WAR IS BEGINNING TO MORPH







Medusa:
Papa, is your memory getting bad?

Papadopoulos:
Now that you mention it, yes.

Medusa:
Maybe it's because humans have been taking something out of us for their new memory supplement.

Papadopoulos:
Maybe. It's amazing that we jellyfish do not have a brain, and yet we are talking right now.

Medusa:
God works in mysterious ways.

Papadopoulos:
Indeed He does.

Medusa:
Ready to play Scrabble?

Papadopoulos:
Sure.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES JELLYFISH AND MEMORY














Saturday, October 21, 2017

BIOLOGY CLASS AND THE WATERMELON PATCH






Mr. Haberbosch was my tenth grade biology teacher, and also our football coach at Jefferson High School.
I remember he said that he had played football at Kansas State.

He had a perpetual smile between rosy cheeks.
He never lost his temper.
He didn't do that much teaching.
He was just there.
In the classroom.
A calm presence.

I liked biology a lot, and so it was no problem that Mr. Haberbosch was on the low end of instruction.
I liked it that way.
I carefully memorized the textbook.
(Many teachers tend to speak just to listen to themselves.
Like politicians.)

I thought about Mr. Haberbosch as I was watching Oklahoma play Kansas State.
It's October.
Football season.
But I'll soon change the channel to watch game seven between the Houston Astros and the New York Yankees.
I want the Yankees to win so that they and the Dodgers can slug it out in the 2017 World Series.

In Mr. Haberbosch's class it was always me who would ask him to tell us about the time that Billy stole a watermelon from Mr. Wilson's watermelon patch.

Mr. Haberbosch smiled even harder after I asked him to repeat this story.
 I asked him every two weeks.
I never got tired of hearing him tell it.
I got a B in his class.

The next year I was in Dr. Kirschner's Biology II Honors class.
That's when Mary Ann Meyers and I dissected a fetal pig.
The formaldehyde was tolerable just so that I could sit next to Mary Ann Meyers.
Later in the year we went to the Junior Prom.
I got an A in Honors Biology.
Oklahoma just scored a touchdown in the last seven seconds to break the 35 to 35 tie and win the game. 
They're now 6-1.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND A WATERMELON PATCH

Friday, August 25, 2017

HOLD THE FISH AND FRIES WHERE'S THE BEEF?








*




Neanderthal  
1861, in reference to a type of extinct hominid, from German Neanderthal "Neander Valley," name of a gorge near Düsseldorf where humanoid fossils were identified in 1856. The place name is from the Graecized form of Joachim Neumann (literally "new man," Greek *neo-ander), 1650-1680, German pastor, poet and hymn-writer, who made this a favorite spot in the 1670s. Adopting a classical form of one's surname was a common practice among educated Germans in this era. As a noun, by 1915; as a type of a big, brutish, stupid person from 1926.




Note:
Only my posts on George W. Bush and his presidency exceed those about Neanderthals.

Dubya is a kind of neanderthal, so I guess it's a tie.


*


Forget the fish.

Hold the fries.

Find the meat.

MAMMOTH MEAT!

When humans and neanderthals bumped into each other, they began competing for meat.

The Golden Arches and Whataburger didn't exist, so these old dudes had to return to their wives with their own Big Macs, Whataburgers, and Whoppers.

And plenty of cholesterol.

But Neanderthals didn't worry about cholesterol or a million other maladies that we humans worry about today.

Just bring home the bacon...I mean the mammoth meat...to the significant other in the cave.

The above article doesn't say how Homo Sapiens were able to get more Mammoth Meat than the Neanderthals.

But the following conversation might provide an answer:

Neanderthal:
Hey, Homo, do you want to share that Mammoth after we kill it?

Homo Sapien:
No, my wife wouldn't want that.

Neanderthal:
Come on. Who wears the loin cloth in the family?

Homo Sapien:
I do. But she makes it for me.

Neanderthal:
Well, in that case, I guess I'll have to club you to death.

Homo Sapien:
Hey, look, there's a flying saucer!

Homo clubs Mr. Neanderthal, and then kills the Mammoth.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES





Friday, July 21, 2017

TWIST OF FATE ON THE TOILET SEAT





LAKESIDE AMUSEMENT PARK


The Fun House -- an iconic attraction mentioned most by old-school Lakeside visitors -- that was located where the Dragon now sits was one of the most visually notable parts of the park. A giant, animated papier-mâché puppet woman known as "Laffing Sal" greeted riders there with her hysterical cackle; word is she may still be in storage somewhere in the park.



*

No, this is not about Donald Trump.

But Because of Donald J. Trump our fate (and the world's) is inside the toilet.

Not on the seat.

*

TALE OF THE TUB

I had finished my shower on August 10, 2010.
It was mid-morning.

I should have had a Tarot reading before my shower.

I should have had someone do my bio-rhythm (I don't have the faintest idea what a bio-rhythm is. I just remember it from the seventies when it was being read.)

In fact, I did have mine read after I had had an accident in my Datsun truck, driving down Boulder Canyon.
I flipped the truck on a nasty curve.
I believe it was March 7 or 10, 1971.

Laura (Laura then, but later Madhavi---not the Indian actress.) read my bio-rhythm after my accident.

She told me that my bio-rhythm was very low that day.
She told me it wasn't a good day to be driving.
Later, I asked her what her name meant.
She said it meant divine light.

*

I should have done many things.

I didn't know, nor did I think about what my fate would be that morning.

Who ever does?

Well, maybe some of us do.

*

Nobody else was home.

And I was soon to become the person in the television commercial who says “I've fallen down and I can't get up.”
Except in my case it was“I've fallen down in the bathtub, and I can't get up.”

*

Actually, I had fallen into the tub.

I should let readers imagine how that happened.
Think about how I could have fallen into my bathtub.

Let your minds wander.

I'd love to hear your answers, instead of the mundane answer I'm about to give.

*

As I said, I had finished my shower.

And then...came that
twist of fate.

But first:


Centrifugal force is ubiquitous in our daily lives. We experience it when we round a corner in a car or when an airplane banks into a turn. We see it in the spin cycle of a washing machine or when children ride on a merry-go-round. One day it may even provide artificial gravity for space ships...




I guess this particular twist involved both centrifugal and centripetal forces.
If so, both did a good job, and should be congratulated.
Some day I may experience artificial gravity, but this time it didn't occur.

It was these two forces and gravity that brought me down.

*

There used to be a large disc in the funhouse at Lakeside Amusement Park in Colorado.
It rotated very fast.
The spinning began slowly, then gradually increased.
Humans who sat on the large disc were wont to get thrown off, and especially those who had been standing.
You held onto the wooden pancake for dear life, but eventually you were tossed off, and the friction usually rubbed off a considerable amount of epidermis.

*


My TWIST OF FATE was not so fun, but its velocity was on the same footing as the spinning disc.

Mine had an oval disc:
the toilet seat.

The holy seat did not spin until I put one of my feet on it to dry my toes.

The seat twisted, and w h o o s h!
I fell backwards into the bathtub.
I grabbed the rack behind the toilet, but it didn't stop my falling.
On my way into the bathtub I grabbed the shower curtains, and they came down with me as I jackknifed into the tub.


To be continued...


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND FATE