Tuesday, June 12, 2018

INTERNATIONAL HOUSE OF BURGERS













It's a sad day.
The International House of Pancakes is no longer the International House of Pancakes.
The pancakes have been replaced by burgers.


Don't we have enough burgers already?
Whoppers and Big Macs, Whataburgers and Carl's Jr.'s...

America is big, big burger country.
IHOP wasn't going to be left behind.
Forget those pancakes.
More burgers!
IHOB!


Of course, IHOB will still have its pancakes.
Maybe they'll even have hamburger pancakes.
Bon appetit!



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND BURGERS!












Friday, June 01, 2018

LEE HARVEY AND THE CAMEL JOCK











I lived at home my first year of college.
I rode a bus to downtown Denver where I attended my freshman classes at University of Colorado extension.
The second year I left for Boulder.

*

I had done so well my first year that I was given a $500 dollar grant that I didn't need to pay back.
This was 1967.
$500.00 in 1967 had the same buying power as $3,746.57 in 2018.
{SOURCE: DOLLAR TIMES}

*

I went to Boulder to live in a dorm.
I wouldn't know who my roommate was for a few days.
His name was Michael Gould, from San Fernando, California.
He had a girlfriend back in San Fernando.

*

If I was a nerd, then Michael was a jock, easy-going, with a sense of humor.
We got along.
Especially after I wrote a couple of his Freshman English papers.
His English teacher was the wife of my Shakespeare professor.

*

I lived on the ninth floor of what is even to this day the tallest building in Boulder, Colorado.
It was called Williams Village.
Today it's called Stearns Tower.
It's fifteen stories tall.

*

My tution paid for breakfast and dinner.
The food wasn't too bad.
One time at dinner, we were served enchiladas.
I remember I also had jello.
I proceeded to cut up my enchiladas and jello into small pieces.
One of the guys who lived on the same floor as me asked, “Do you cut up everything that you eat?
I replied, “Yes.”
He shook his head, which at this time was dripping wet from all of the hot sauce he had put on his enhiladas.
I forget his name, but he is the tallest man I've ever seen except for the famous Corn King.
He kept a lot of guns in his dorm room's closet.
He sometimes warned other card players when they made him mad that he would go get one of his guns.
I thought that was funny.
The guns' triggers were safety-locked, and he never went to get one.

*

On Saturdays I watched one TV program in the dorm's Recreation Room:
Laugh In.
I didn't smoke or drink.
I never went to any parties.
No wonder I didn't have any friends.

*

Well, I did go to one party.
A beer keg party.
I can't remember who took me to the keg party, or who brought me back to the dorm.
I borrowed one of the dorm's graduate student's John Hopkins pewter mug, and was warned not to lose it.
I'm lucky I didn't lose or forget it.
I was very inebriated when I left the party.
I went crazy when I got into the dorm's elevator...yelling and kicking.
When I finally made it to my room, I turned on the lights, and promptly went to my sleeping roommate and tried to push him off his bed. He sat up and lifted his right arm with a closed fist, ready to sock me, but then
started to laugh.
Lucky for me.

*

I didn't get to know anyone on my floor of the dorm, or for that matter anyone at the university.
Michael and I didn't speak to each other very much.
I spent most of my time in the library away from all social interference.

*

Two of the dorm tenants became known as camel jock and lee harvey.
Camel jock had a moustache, and was from the Middle East.
Lee harvey looked like Lee Harvey Oswald.
I thought both didn't deserve these titles, but they took it all in fun, at least on the outside.

*

Nothing happened that was very exciting, except for the night that the male students snuck into the dorm of the female students, and sprayed their doors with whipping cream.
That was about it.
Then I moved somewhere else.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND DORM LIFE





















Tuesday, April 24, 2018

EVOLUTION


"In the beginning, nearly fourteen billion years ago, all the space and all the matter and all the energy of the known universe was contained in a volume less than one-trillionth the size of the period that ends this sentence." 
 NEIL DEGRASSE TYSON


The above sentence is as perplexing and mysterious to me as the process called evolution.  Mr. Tyson at least provides us with some comfort by also writing: 

"The universe is under no obligation to make sense to you."








Man

Man
Once
Had
Tiny
Bones
In
His
Tail
But
Were
These
From
The monkey or the whale?
Holy cow!
Man had muscles in his ears
And somehow
Wiggled them to show his fears.
Was this Creation or Evolution?
Is man a God's Divination...
Or
Some Devil's Abomination?
By M.L. Squier








Evolution is a mighty and mysterious process.

Evolution took just a few million years before humans started using their skateboards and cell phones.

What did apes do except eat bananas and swing from trees?

And now we incarcerate them.

We've come a long way, baby!


*


Did Darwin believe that humans descended or ascended from the apes?

I always get those two mixed up.

I guess an answer might be found in the history of the human race, and what it has done and is doing to itself and the planet.

Maybe we've come too far.

But there is no turning back.

Evolution is a steam roller and roller coaster.


*


Is God a product of evolution, or is evolution a product of God?

https://madplatonews.blogspot.com/2009/07/dolphins-whales-apes-and-men.html





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND EVOLUTION



Monday, March 12, 2018

AMERICA IS GOING TO POT





Some would say that America has already gone to pot.
Recreational marijuana is legal in nine states and medical marijuana is legal in 29 states.

But the going has been going on for some time.


*

I stopped my journey on the road of pot almost fifty years ago.
I wasn't on the road very long, but I enjoyed the journey.

*

I always smoked a joint when I watched the Dick Cavett show.

*

Many years ago, after I quit my first job as a teacher, I smoked pot incessantly for a few months.

*

I wouldn't want my pilot or bus driver to be a pothead.
Pot is for recreation.
For the weekends.
Unless your “job” is smoking pot because you don't have a real job.

*

North Korea's dictator Kim Jong Un should smoke pot.
Just keep him away from his nuclear button when he is stoned.

*

Vice President Pence is in favor of marijuana prohibition. 
He looks pretty stoned already.


*

In college I smoked only a few times.
The very first time was after I had seen a production of the play Zoo Story.
One of the theater's exits led directly outside to the side of a mountain.
I was laughing so hard I nearly fell into a ravine.

*

During my stint of incessant smoking I was sitting on the sofa in a friend's house.
A person next to me asked what sign I was.
I am a Libra, but I told him that I was a stop sign.
I guess that might sum up what happens when you smoke pot.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND POT






Wednesday, January 03, 2018

DO OR DIE






OR





Kim Jong Un and President Donald Trump can avoid war.

Each nation is throwing...I mean, each leader is throwing their rhetorical missiles at each other.

This can end.
This must end.

How?
Simple.

Let these two leaders put on the other's do.
That is, hairdo.

When each looks into the mirror, they might think twice about how and what they say.

Gee, that's me with the other dude's do. I can't drop bombs on him who looks like me.”

As bad as both hairdos are, they still could appease each leader.

The size of their buttons is another matter.

Size does matter when it comes to nuclear buttons.

Maybe their buttons can look like each other's hairdo, too.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES HAIRDOS AND NUCLEAR BUTTONS


Thursday, November 02, 2017

JELLYFISH MEMORY AND THE WAR IS BEGINNING TO MORPH







Medusa:
Papa, is your memory getting bad?

Papadopoulos:
Now that you mention it, yes.

Medusa:
Maybe it's because humans have been taking something out of us for their new memory supplement.

Papadopoulos:
Maybe. It's amazing that we jellyfish do not have a brain, and yet we are talking right now.

Medusa:
God works in mysterious ways.

Papadopoulos:
Indeed He does.

Medusa:
Ready to play Scrabble?

Papadopoulos:
Sure.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES JELLYFISH AND MEMORY














Saturday, October 21, 2017

BIOLOGY CLASS AND THE WATERMELON PATCH






Mr. Haberbosch was my tenth grade biology teacher, and also our football coach at Jefferson High School.
I remember he said that he had played football at Kansas State.

He had a perpetual smile between rosy cheeks.
He never lost his temper.
He didn't do that much teaching.
He was just there.
In the classroom.
A calm presence.

I liked biology a lot, and so it was no problem that Mr. Haberbosch was on the low end of instruction.
I liked it that way.
I carefully memorized the textbook.
(Many teachers tend to speak just to listen to themselves.
Like politicians.)

I thought about Mr. Haberbosch as I was watching Oklahoma play Kansas State.
It's October.
Football season.
But I'll soon change the channel to watch game seven between the Houston Astros and the New York Yankees.
I want the Yankees to win so that they and the Dodgers can slug it out in the 2017 World Series.

In Mr. Haberbosch's class it was always me who would ask him to tell us about the time that Billy stole a watermelon from Mr. Wilson's watermelon patch.

Mr. Haberbosch smiled even harder after I asked him to repeat this story.
 I asked him every two weeks.
I never got tired of hearing him tell it.
I got a B in his class.

The next year I was in Dr. Kirschner's Biology II Honors class.
That's when Mary Ann Meyers and I dissected a fetal pig.
The formaldehyde was tolerable just so that I could sit next to Mary Ann Meyers.
Later in the year we went to the Junior Prom.
I got an A in Honors Biology.
Oklahoma just scored a touchdown in the last seven seconds to break the 35 to 35 tie and win the game. 
They're now 6-1.



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND A WATERMELON PATCH