Saturday, December 28, 2013

NEANDERTHALS AND DIABETES


 
Poor Neanderthals!


When will they be left in peace?


This and that accusation, discovery or conclusion is always being made about Neanderthals.

The latest allegation blames Neanderthal DNA for Type 2 Diabetes.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-2529822/How-NEANDERTHALS-blame-people-getting-diabetes.html


I'll bet I'm not the only person who has wondered where diabetes came from, but I would have never thought to blame Neanderthals.


You just never know about some things.

If Neanderthals were alive they would be in court all the time, suing the hair off of the Homo Sapiens who have made all of these accusations.


What causes Diabetes?


Not obesity.


Not sugar.


But Neanderthals!


Poor Neanderthals!





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND NEANDERTHALS!










Thursday, December 19, 2013

SANTA CLAUS JESUS AND MEGYN KELLY


The Isle of Wight





 
Dedicated to Megyn Kelly and all things white.
 
CHRISTMAS IS WHITE

SANTA IS WHITE

SNOW IS WHITE

JESUS IS WHITE

LIGHT IS WHITE

(THE SKY IS BLUE)

PAPER IS WHITE

(UNLESS IT'S A DIFFERENT COLOR)

THE POPE IS WHITE

THE PRESIDENT IS WHITE

(AND BLACK)

DANDRUFF IS WHITE

UNDERWEAR IS WHITE

(UNLESS IT'S A DIFFERENT COLOR)

RON WHITE IS WHITE...

BUT WHAT COLOR IS THE ISLE OF WIGHT?

 
 




IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND WHITE!








Wednesday, December 18, 2013

FATE


Destiny by John William Waterhouse


Today is December 18, 2013. 

I'm reading REFLECTIONS ON THE CIVIL WAR by Bruce Catton, and thought the following sentence from this book fit what I wrote below in a letter that I posted in 2007: 

"The human trajectory is eternally incalculable, beginning in deepest mystery and going blind to a fate no one can predict." 

*
 
I had just left work and wanted to buy a vanilla ice-cream cone.
I could have done otherwise, but I didn't.
I turned right from Dyer Street onto Honda Pass.
I was only a few hundred yards from getting my ice-cream cone.
Then, suddenly, a white car started turning left without any signal.
I also swerved left and accelerated forward to get ahead of the car's path.
I thought that I had succeeded in avoiding a collision when...
CRASH!
Some unprintable swear words came out of me.
Then I looked in my rear view mirror to make sure that the white car's driver was not "running away".
He wasn't.
We both pulled into a parking lot.
I took a look at the damage from the collision.
The door on the passenger side was smashed in, but I could still open the door and close it.
I said to the other driver, "I tried like hell to miss you, but you just kept on coming."
The driver produced his driver's license, and I fished out my insurance card.
I said to the driver, "You’ll admit that this was your fault?”
He said, "Well, I don’t want to say that."
"But you will admit that you turned in front of me?”
"Yes, I was making a U-Turn."
I wrote down his name, address and phone number.

I left this scene and drove about one block to get my ice cream cone.
I wouldn’t be thwarted by Fate.
As I am driving I often ponder what ifs.
What if I went this way instead of another?
I believe there is something true about intuition and gut instincts.
For example, before I decided to get my ice-cream cone I again thought about the consequences.
Maybe something bad will happen.
Should I go this way?
Bingo!
Something bad did happen.
None of us can stop living or doing what we do based only on what ifs.
Maybe you don't think about what ifs as much as I do.
It's probably better for your health.

I remember a short story in which an all-powerful computer was "killed" when it was asked to define fate.
Maybe I should stop trying to escape or define my own fate.
Just let it flow.
S*** does happen.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!



Thursday, December 12, 2013

A SELFIE A HANDSHAKE AND GEORGE W. BUSH


 



 




 It is a difficult time to be President of the United States.


(I was going to write “President of the Free World”, but of course, a lot of the world is not so free.)

President Obama handed the radical right-wing loonies more ammunition to put into their muskets when he shook hands with Raul Castro.

The handshake occurred during Nelson Mandela's funeral.


The handshake might have made Nelson Mandela proud of Mr. Obama.


The “selfie” that President Obama snapped is a different story, but I'm more upset that liar-liar Bush-on-fire, was given a ride to Nelson Mandela's funeral aboard Air Force One with the President.


George W. Bush should have taken a domestic flight.


In fact, Mr. Bush should be in prison for what he did to Iraq and America.


Maybe a Cuban prison.


Instead, the smug and ignominious physiognomy of George W. Bush was seen, and he, proudly showed off his paintings.


I wonder if his stuff is any better than Hitler's?


I know, this is a distasteful low blow, but it came to mind.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!








Sunday, December 01, 2013

CABBAGES AND KINGS ON THE MOON

 
 







"The time has come," the Walrus said,
"To talk of many things:
Of shoes--and ships--and sealing-wax--
Of cabbages--and kings--
And why the sea is boiling hot--
And whether pigs have wings."

From The Walrus and The Carpenter

by Lewis Carroll




Since I eat a lot of cabbage, and sprinkle basil on almost everything, it came as a sweet surprise that the moon will soon be seeded with both cabbage and basil, plus other flora, in an experiment to see whether fauna---namely the human sort---can live on the moon.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2516538/One-giant-leek-mankind-Nasa-try-growing-vegetables-herbs-moon-humans-day-live-there.html


*

I guess the moon will eventually have some cheese, too.
 
*
 
Humans should already be living on the moon, cooking up a storm, taking Moon-lit---I mean, Earth-lit drives.

*

I'm sick of looking at moon, knowing that Big Macs and DQ Blizzards should already be there.

*

I don't believe that aliens have ever stopped us from returning to the Moon.

I believe it's just that we're too lazy and stingy to return.

*

Men are also too busy trying to kill each other, instead of flying to the Moon and Mars.

Isn't that why women should be in power instead of men?


Then we might be headed for the stars instead of sowing so much death and destruction.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES ON THE MOON!


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

THE GALAXY IN 3D

 
 






We have 3D movies and 3D TV, and one day we might see the Milky Way Galaxy in 3D.


Mysteries will no longer be mysteries.


 Heavens will be seen as clear as a bell.


The doorsteps of our space brothers will be on our own doorsteps.


We will know more about our home galaxy than we do about Kardashians.


The Milky Way might one day be on a Google Galaxy-Map.


Who knows?


But some things are certain:


What is far away will become closer, what is hidden will be seen, and what isn’t known now will become known.


Microbes and atoms were once invisible.


Then they became visible to our eyes with the help of machines that we made.


The planets and stars not seen today will be seen tomorrow.


Maybe Gaia will spot some intelligent creature waving its appendages to flag us down.


Hello.


Welcome to the party!

 

IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND THE MILKY WAY!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

CURIOSITY KILLED THE CLAM



Ming's life came to an abrupt end seven years ago when scientists from Bangor University dredged the seabed near Iceland (pictured) as part of a study into climate change.



               


Leave it up to scientists to ruin a good thing.



Scientists' need to know is often Nature's worst enemy.



Pandora's box has been opened more than once to let out bad things.



The intentions are usually good, but the outcomes turn out bad.



A most recent example is when the oldest living thing on earth was killed.



World's oldest creature is revealed to be 507-year-old shellfish called Ming – until scientists KILLED it by opening it up to check its age.
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2505155/Worlds-oldest-creature-confirmed-507-years-old-scientists-KILLED-shellfish.html#ixzz2kXhXPnRJ



I, too, was an amateur scientist in my youth, and I am guilty of destroying things to find out what was inside them.

I opened up and dismantled every toy and device I came across just to find out what was inside.



My urge to know was overwhelming.



I couldn't wait to get inside things and unravel their mysteries.



But I didn't kill anything...



Not even a clam!





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND CLAMS!

















 
















Tuesday, October 29, 2013

DON'T CALL ME I'LL CALL YOU

 
"Your phone is tapped, but I'm not listening."





NSA :


O.K. Let's try our other method of phone bugging. Neither Snowden nor President Obama know about this one.


Let's see what we've got.
 
 
 
 



Chancellor Merkel:


Hello Mr. President, how is your pasta these days?
 



Giorgio Napolitano:


Ciao Chancellor Merkel.


My pasta is excellent.


How is your bratwurst?



Chancellor Merkel:


Tasty, tasty.


Hold on, Giorgio, President Nieto of Mexico is calling.


President Nieto, hola!


How is your chile verde these days?
 



President Nieto:


Hola Chancellor Merkel!


My chile verde is delicious, and waiting for you to eat!
 
 


Chancellor Merkel:


Thank you President Nieto.


I look forward to that.
 
 



NSA:


O.K.


That's enough.


This must be some kind of subterfuge, because all they're talking about is food.


Let's break for lunch.


 
 


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!






































Sunday, October 27, 2013

TRICK OR TREAT?



 


Ghouls, ghosts, and witches---I mean the United States Congress---have already tricked and treated us, and our turkeys are next in line to get their axe.

*

Halloween was always one of my favorite times, just as it is one of if not the most favorite time for dentists and candy companies.

Forget that sugar is bad for us, or that it feeds cancer cells.

We love our sweets!

All of history has always loved sweets!

*

I hesitate to buy all of the candy necessary to hand out this Thursday night, as poor as I am, but I still might fork out the twenty-five or thirty bucks needed.

I always buy the candy that I like, so I don’t get so depressed spending a small fortune on future cavities and carcinomas.

*

One Halloween when I was thirteen, my mom forced me to “dress up” as a girl.

Mom used to say after I had spent such a long time in front of the bathroom mirror combing my hair, “You should have been a girl”.

I guess she had that in mind when I was costumed as a girl.

It was a strange idea, but I knew I wanted candy, so I didn't argue.

The couple in a house across the street was giving out caramel corn balls. 

The husband and I used to play catch on weekends.

  He was a softball pitcher.  His balls came at me very fast, but I was a very good catcher.  I stuffed this huge catcher’s mitt with newspapers to cushion the impact of the fast-moving balls.

But he didn’t know me this Halloween night.

I removed my dress and put on a white sheet, and went back to get me another corn ball!

*

I felt like murdering people who handed out pennies.

*

One Halloween I was ready to call it quits for the night, but went to this apartment for one last handout.

The man handed me a gallon jug of apple cider that was about half-full.

I took it home and gave it to my mom.

She said that it had gone sour.

I wanted to go back and murder the apple cider man.

*

America.

What a country!

The home of beer, big Macs…

AND CANDY!

 

IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

 

                             

Thursday, October 17, 2013

ODDS ENDS AND PET PEEVES


 


 



I used to think that the gecko in Geico commercials was really cute.

But I’m sick of this gecko.

Sorry.

*

Do you ever get tired of hearing sports announcers say, “There’s still time” or “There’s plenty of time.”

*

I’m fed up with ordering from the fast-food drive-thru, then finding out that what they gave me is not what I ordered.

I try to enunciate clearly, but the order that I get is sometimes wrong.

One morning at the Golden Arches, I ordered an egg McMuffin and some hash browns, and then drove away without checking my order.

When I got to work, I had a sundae in my bag.

*

A local radio station once had a contest where people had to figure out what the fast-food person was mumbling.

I figured it out, and won a free breakfast.

*

I’m tired of having to listen people on their cell phones who practically scream when they talk.

 Please, cell phone users, lower your voices.

I really don’t want to hear what you’re saying.

*

How about when you turn your turn signal on to change lanes, and then the driver in the vehicle behind you quickly enters the lane!

*

On the home front:

Replace the toilet tissue roll when you’ve used up the other one. 

Make sure lids are screwed tight on jars so that they don’t go flying out of the next person’s hands.

Replace the cap on the tube of toothpaste.

Sweep the kitchen floor at least once a year.

 
 

IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!