Thursday, February 27, 2014

NOT EVERYTHING IS WHAT IT SEEMS BUT IT MIGHT BE


 




Those chicken wings are not really wings.

They are just chicken “nuggets” that look like wings.
A machine probably squeezes the “chicken batter” into molds to look like wings.
Yummy.
No bones!

*

In India I saw some peculiar things.
I realize now that I wasn't in my right mind.
Still, I remember what I saw, and it's been long enough now that I won't be put into a bug-house. 
 At least, I hope not.

It was 1978.
 
I was lost.
(I wrote a couple of poems about this experience. *see below*)
I didn't include the more peculiar things that I saw, so I will now.
While walking one night (and, boy, did I do a lot of walking in India!) I saw a small camel sleeping (or dead?) on a sidewalk.

I swear that this camel raised its head up and moved it back and forth as if it was telling me “No”.
About what I'll never know.
But I remember what I thought:

He's telling me not to walk here.”
It was a creepy and smelly part of Old Delhi.

But I kept walking, and nothing bad happened.

*

I was still walking (as I point out in my poems.)
At one point I saw a house that I just knew had an American living there.
 
It had a fence.
I started walking toward the house.
Then a man appeared.
But not quite a man.

He looked like one of the simians in the movie Planet of the Apes.
First he was an ape, and then he was just a normal-looking human.
 
I blinked a few times, then approached the man.
I don't remember what he said, but he went into the house, then came back out and invited me to come inside.
 
An American greeted me.
I don't know what I said to him, but I remember he asked me if I wanted something to drink, and I said, “Yes, a screwdriver.”
The man-servant who had greeted me outside promptly brought me my drink on a shiny, oval platter that I thought was made of gold, but it was more likely just brass.

The American disappeared into a nearby room.
I heard the voice of President Carter, but it was just Carter speaking at a news conference or something.
I'm sure he wasn't speaking with this American.

The American came back, and said that he would have his servant take me somewhere safe.

 
*poems*


Lost In India Part I 
     
I was thinking about India and
The white Brahman bull.
I was just standing around.
Wearing a colorful quilt.
When I turned around.
The Brahma bull was touching my nose.
Life's movements
Quickly move like that Brahma bull.
Attracted to colorful motion.
Suddenly it is here.
Life.
Death.
Romance.
Then I got onto the cart.
Being pulled by a different bull.
The dark Indian man lightly touched me.
Felt my ribs.
Wondering in silence.
Who was I?
Why so thin?



LOST IN INDIA




I walked & walked until my shoes fell off
When I saw green I jumped off the old train
When I hit the ground & rolled over I was
Surprised I was alive, I had bruises,
I walked into a medical clinic, they said I
Was ok & so I left, I had on my dark
Sunglasses, mysterious-looking dark stranger
Wandering, the sky got gray, the night got
Cold, it started to rain, I climbed onto a
Haystack to cover myself with straw, it was
a lousy idea, so I climbed into a small
Grain bin with a little roof & covered
Myself with corn meal, so warm & cozy, I had
on my dark sunglasses, I slept, I woke up,
It was a sunny morning, my dark sunglasses
Were gone, men were staring down at me & as I
climbed out of that warm corn meal heaven
Someone handed me my sunglasses, I was so
Relieved, I could see again, I started
Walking, walking, walking & my feet bled.







IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!




Sunday, February 16, 2014

IN THE NEWS






That doughnut on Mars wasn't an alien after all.

It was just a rock.

Long live Rock and Roll!



Valentine's Day is over.

Dentists love this day, and candy companies love it even more.

Both love Easter, but especially Halloween.

Go sugar!



This summer may be one of the hottest ever recorded.

Go sun!



The United States gets 50% of its fruits, vegetables, and nuts from California.

Fruits and nuts come mostly from San Francisco.

Go fruits and nuts!



Miley Cyrus is as raunchy as can be.

Go Miley!



Justin Bieber's bad behavior is on hiatus.

Go Bieber!



Jay is out and Jimmy is in.

(I love to end sentences with prepositions.)

Go Fallon!



Movies, movies, movies.

So many to watch.

Go cinema!







IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!










Saturday, February 08, 2014

MOONBEAMS MICE AND YOGA MATS

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2554742/Chemical-used-shoe-rubber-ditched-Subway-week-McDonalds-Burger-King-Wendy-s-popular-store-bought-products.html




Now I realize why I have been craving yoga mats and shoes.


I've been eating products that contain azodicarbonamide.


*

I practiced Yoga when I was in my early twenties.


I didn't use any yoga mats, and I ate homemade, whole wheat bread that didn't contain azodicarbonamide.


Times have changed.


I have changed.


*
The earth today is boiling and melting simultaneously.


And let's not forget about those out-of-sight asteroids that may be approaching.

*

I'm trying to reduce my fats and carbohydrates.

I don't know how much fat or carbohydrates were in azodicarbonamide, but thank goodness I now won't have to worry since it will be removed.


Now I have to figure out what to do with all of my shoes and yoga mats.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND AZODICARBONAMIDE!