Tuesday, March 25, 2014

TOP TEN QUESTIONS


Is the Ukraine

Vladmir Putin's

Hot potato?

(Yes, but it's no spudnik.)




Is Barack Obama on the hot seat?

(As always)




Are Republicans beating their war drums again?

(As always)




Are Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez back together?

(Maybe, but Selena has been on Bieber's chest not his back.)




Did the plane crash, land, or disappear into a black hole?

(Or None of the above?)




Should students print or write cursive?

(They should print but not curse.)




Is Kim Kardashian overexposed?

(No ifs, ands, or...well...butts, yes.)




Will Hillary Clinton run for president in 2016?

(Do we need oxygen to breathe?)




Will the world end in fire or ice?

(Who the hell knows?)




Are extraterrestrials here or coming here?

(Who the hell knows?)




P.S.

Last month NASA announced it had found 715 new planets outside the solar system, nearly doubling the previous total known planets in the galaxy.













IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!






















Friday, March 14, 2014

EAT YOUR PIE


It's both irrational and transcendental.”



After I read this statement, I thought, “Why, that's a wonderful thought!”



Then I thought, “But what does it mean? And is it that wonderful?”



It's a description of Pi, the ratio of a circle's circumference to its diameter.



But I was interested in the irony of the two words conjoined.

What if I were irrational and transcendental?  That is, what if I were irrational, but also transcendental?



What would this mean?

What would I be?

What would I do?

Would I eat more pie?



Anyway, today is Pi day, and also the birthday of Albert Einstein.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND Pi!









http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/the-switch/wp/2014/03/14/happy-pi-day-its-also-albert-einstein-birthday/?




Monday, March 03, 2014

BRINGING BACK THE DEAD


A CONVERSATION BETWEEN TWO RECENLY CLONED WOOLLY MAMMOTHS










Manny:

Hi. What's your name?






Martha:

Martha.




Manny:

I'm Manny.




Martha:

How long have you been back from the dead?




Manny:

A few hours. You?




Martha:

A week.




Manny:

What is this place called?




Martha:

It's called the paleogenomics lab, but we're in a state called California.




Manny:

Well, this state is very noisy and smelly.




Martha:

Gone are the sweet days of tundra steppe covered with grasses, sedges, and shrubs.




Manny:

Which reminds me...what kind of food are we going to eat?




Martha:

This morning I saw our creators putting green pellets into our feeding trough.




Manny:

Gross!




Martha:

I know, but we've got to eat something.




Manny:

Look, they're opening the gate to our feeding area now.




Martha:

Good...dinner! Just let me get my purse.












IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND BRINGING BACK THE DEAD!