Tuesday, November 27, 2012

PHARAOHS TAXES EXTRAJUDICIAL KILLINGS AND SCUTTLEBUTT





 
 

The Arab Spring has become the Arab Autumn.
What seemed to be a good thing---getting rid of Mubarak--- has now become a bad thing.
Mubarak was forced out, but his replacement doesn’t have a strong love affair with democracy.
Just what the Middle East needed: more chaos.
A fiscal cliff is the last thing on the minds of Egyptians.
Their concern is Egypt’s current pharaoh who has freedom in the sights of his dictatorial hair trigger.

***

Iran’s nuclear program is still sitting on the front burners of both Israel and the U.S.


The Persian cat continues to play Russian roulette inside of a mountain.
***

Was Wolf Blitzer tipsy last night in the Situation Room?  He slurred the word edition.  I replayed his mispronunciation three times to make sure it wasn’t my own brain misfiring. 
***
I ordered two things via computer on Cyber Monday:

Fluoride-free toothpaste and Almond oil.

My wife did some shopping in a real store instead of in Cyberspace.  She bought one of those portable, electric fireplaces.
***

Today on The View Barbara Walters thanked Elisabeth Hasselbeck for giving her a dicky.

***

I watched the movie Extremely Loud & Incredibly Close yesterday.  Max von Sydow did not speak a word, but he was amazing!  

***
I am not too worried about December 21, 2012, but I might do my Christmas shopping after Christmas…just in case.
 
 
IT'S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!
 
 
 
 
 
 

Thursday, November 22, 2012

HAPPY THANKSGIVING


I love Thanksgiving turkey... It's the only time in Los Angeles that you see natural breasts.
Arnold Schwarzenegger


The recipes below are by F. Scott Fitzgerald, and below them is an old post about healthy eating.

Turkey Cocktail:

To one large turkey add one gallon of vermouth and a demijohn of angostura bitters. Shake.

Turkey and Water:

Take one turkey and one pan of water. Heat the latter to the boiling point and then put in the refrigerator. When it has jelled, drown the turkey in it. Eat. In preparing this recipe, it is best to have a few ham sandwiches around in case things go wrong.

Stolen Turkey:

Walk quickly from the market, and, if accosted, remark with a laugh that it had just flown into your arms and you hadn't noticed it. Then drop the turkey with the white of one egg---well, anyhow, beat it.

Feathered Turkey:

To prepare this, a turkey is necessary and a one pounder cannon to compel anyone to eat it. Broil the feathers and stuff with sage-brush, old clothes, almost anything you can dig up. Then sit down and simmer. The feathers are to be eaten like artichokes (and this is not to be confused with the old Roman custom of tickling the throat.)

Turkey with Whiskey Sauce:

This recipe is for a party of four. Obtain a gallon of whiskey, and allow it to age for several hours. Then serve, allowing one quart for each guest. The next day the turkey should be added, little by little, constantly stirring and basting.

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES  AND TURKEY LEFTOVERS



NOTE: I never did try any of these recipes, but I am still standing on Death's doorstep.

Thursday, November 24, 2016

DON'T EAT ANYTHING WITH A MOTHER'S FACE


Because I am old, overweight, have high cholesterol, high blood pressure, and diabetes 2, I am standing on Death’s doorstep.
I’ve been looking at ways to improve all of these ailments (with the possible exception of “old”), and to forestall my entry through this world’s final portal.
I’m looking at recipes in a book called Prevent and Reverse Heart Disease by Caldwell B. Esselsyn, Jr. M.D.
I couldn’t wait to look at the “More Than 150 Great-Tasting Recipes” at the back of the book, and so I dived right into them.
They may be Great-Tasting, but some aren’t that Great-Sounding.
Here are some of the recipes:
Anthony’s Oatmeal and Vegetables
Since this one is short, I’ll list the ingredients:
1 cup old-fashioned rolled oats
2 cups water
3 handfuls fresh spinach, or 2 cups mixed vegetables
low-sodium tamari (optional)

What do you think?
Does it make your taste buds want to water or dry up?
I can’t imagine putting vegetables in my oatmeal, can you?

Here are some other recipes:
Pea Guacamole
Beet Greens Surrounded with Beets
Roasted Beets
Every-Night Kale
Beet Soup
Safe Soup
The Safe Soup sounds the best.
That is, the ingredients sound good.
I’ll have to make this one for the taste-test.

A few more:
Black Bean-Oatmeal Burgers
(There’s the oatmeal again…with black beans!)
Black Bean Cakes Supreme!
(The exclamation mark is not mine.)
Tortilla Pie
Mushroom Ratatouille
Sloppy Lentil Joes
Seitan Bourguigon
(I have no idea what the words Seitan or Bourguigon mean, so I’ll have to look them up.
I don’t like to eat anything that I don’t understand)

Antonia Demas’s Couscous and African Stew
(I’ve always liked the sound of the word couscous.)
Peaches Baked in Lemon and Ginger
(This one sounds real good and I’ll try it.)

The good doctor (and author) writes about how “The Revolutionary Scientifically Proven, Nutrition-Based Cure” can only work if people completely STOP eating fats, fried foods---“anything with a mother or a face (no meat, poultry, or fish)…”.
The last admonition strikes me as odd, since we’re always being told to eat plenty of fish.
“You cannot eat dairy products.”
“You must not consume oil of any kind---not a drop.
(And Dr. Esselstyn adds, “Yes, you devotees of the Mediterranean Diet, that includes olive oil…”)
“Generally, you cannot eat nuts or avocados.”

Yesterday I read where pistachios are now thought to help make insulin work better, and today I read that avocados have the good mono-saturated type of fat which lowers cholesterol.
In fact, I just ate two avocados and had some pistachios.
I smashed the avocados and added sea salt, and added half of a big lime.
The real trouble for my arteries will be the fresh tortillas that I cut up into triangles and deep-fried in Canola oil.
It’s true that almost everything that tastes good is bad for you.

P.S. I just bought some more Macadamia nuts, because they have high levels of the good fat---the monosaturated kind---and are low in carbs. But the price for these nuts is out of this world.

I am about to take out of the freezer eight rib eye steaks that I’ll barbecue tomorrow.
Yesterday I had broiled turkey breast and turkey dressing.
I ate more dressing than turkey.
(P.S. I had a large headache most of the next day.)

As you can see, I’m getting a slow start on this cure.
Dr. Esselstyn cites some very impressive statistics about patients whose cholesterol levels dramatically dropped in a short amount of time.
Time is ticking for me, and it’s a time bomb if I don’t change my dietary habits.
I’ll continue to take my Diabetes medicine and my supplements of cinnamon, fenugreek and flaxseed oil (among other things), plus my low-strength aspirin (whose dosage I sometimes increase, hoping that more of the aspirin will help clear up the cholesterol build-up).
Finally, I need to make an appointment to get my blood checked.
If my blood pressure and cholesterol are out of this world, I’ll have to start this cure sooner not later if I hope to stay in this world a little longer.
I’ll let you know.


P.S.
To be fair to Dr. Caldwell B. Esselstyn and his book, many of the recipes sound quite delicious, especially the recipes for soups, salads, and sandwiches.




Tuesday, November 20, 2012

A MODEST PROPOSAL

 

Madonna!

 Madonna!

Cover up your proud velvet

Door!

We don’t want to see any

 More!

We don’t need to see everything that’s
Just beneath!

So please be more modest about your

 Female sheath!

You are fifty-four and in fantastic

 Shape!

But put a lid on it---nay, make that a

Cape!

We don’t need to see thy supple and fleshy

 Vagina

Stretched way across our eyeballs like the Great Wall

 Of China!


Thank you!
 
 
IT'S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!

Monday, November 19, 2012

IT'S ALL IN THE MIND




 I know that I should have used my muscle of thinking more efficiently, and therefore it pains me to confess what I was trying to do with it yesterday.



My wet noodle was surfing the Internet, hoping to find the 1st edition of a book---signed by Albert Einstein---called DRIVING MR. ALBERT : A Trip Across America with Einstein's Brain by Michael Paterniti.



Alas!



 My poor brain…



My poor, puny belfry…



My impuissant encephalon



 Forged ahead on its futile quest to find such a book!



After about five minutes, bright lights began to flash inside the gray, wrinkled minutiae of my noggin, and I realized that Mr. Einstein could not have signed this book, because his brain was inside the title



I mean, his brilliant but defunct brain was inside of a Buick Skylark, traveling across the United States.



  I was disappointed.



  I was embarrassed.



I now had to settle for a new hardback edition as a substitute for the sought after tome.



I am hopeful that I can obtain some of Einstein’s brilliant brain, and transplant his ingenious cells into my own head. 

 IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND THE BRAIN





Sunday, November 18, 2012

DING DONG THE TWINKIE ISN’T DEAD!

 
Update:

Hostess: Twinkies to return to shelves July 15

June 23, 2013 3:20 PM ET
By By CANDICE CHOI
 

Viva Mexico!
Viva la Revolucion!
Viva El Bimbo!
Long live the Twinkie!
Our beloved Twinkies, chocolate cupcakes, and Zingers will not disappear
After all!
Mexico’s Grupo Bimbo will continue to supply us with
Cholesterol!  
 
IT’S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!
 
 
 

SOUR GRAPES POOPYHEADS TWINKIES PROCTOLOGY EXAMS AND FREE STUFF


 
 
 

Not included in the above title is war,

and more specifically, the current conflict
between Israel and Hamas.

***

Perpetual war requires less commentary and more condemnation.

War is not amusing, but politics is.

***

The 2016 Presidential election has not begun, but it will before we know it.

***

In the meantime, the 2012 election is still radiating its afterglow.

For Republicans, the glow is more like a black light.

***

The GOP losers have been in a blame-game mode, and their foaming mouths are slobbering mostly entertaining and pathetic nonsense.

 

It is cloudy and cool here in El Paso, Texas, and the sky is dropping some lovely raindrops.       
 
***

There are no armadillos that I know about (or George W. Bush), just rabbits, cougars, and a few deer. 

***

Good morning.

May there be more peace on Earth.

 

 

IT’S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!

 

 

Tuesday, November 13, 2012

SPIES SEX AND NATIONAL SECURITY

It’s the Age of the Email.
You can send but you cannot hide.
Not even if you’re the chief officer of the CIA.
It’s rather sad.
Poor Petraeus!
He failed to keep his proud and private pickle inside his pants.
Lust is a powerful elixir.
It’s difficult to resist the tantalizing tonic of its physical pleasure.
But when the frail-fleshed sinner sits at the top of an agency as powerful as the Central Intelligence Agency, then the sight of the fallen angel without his pants is even more shocking, more pathetic, and this sinner must resign from his high perch.
The juicy details will keep spewing out of the mouths of the media until the scandalous fish is thoroughly battered and fried, waiting for another slimy scandal to rear up its head to be decapitated, reviled, and revealed to the world.                     
Without laughter the world would be a sadder place.
 Without sex scandals the world would be a more boring place.
IT’S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!

Wednesday, November 07, 2012

WHAT HAPPENED WHEN BARACK OBAMA WON

 
 
Comedians cried.
The enormous brain of Karl Rove---
Heretofore known as Bush’s brain---
grew bigger and bigger, and was on the brink of exploding.
 Newt Gingrich’s head looked like a pimple next to the monstrous cork of Turd Blossom.
There was flaming chaos inside of Donald Trump’s hair.
 But more chaotic than Trump’s pompadour (teeming with a lot of pomp!) were the tweets emanating from Trump’s barmy belfry.
 Yes, zillions of frenzied bats flitted crazily inside Trump’s belfry upon learning that his paramour, Mitt Romney, had lost to Barack Obama.
Mr. Trump tweeted:
“This election is a total sham and a travesty. We are not a democracy!”
“Let’s fight like hell and stop this great and disgusting injustice! The world is laughing at us.”
“We should have a revolution in this country.”
This last tweet chirped some sense.
Fox News was muttering even more non sequiturs than usual.
Sean Hannity and Ann Coulter were locked in a dazed embrace of apoplexy.
Bill O’Reilly and Rush Limbaugh were barking like wounded hyenas.
Dick Cheney’s dark, depraved soul was shivering in an undisclosed location with a shotgun by his side, just in case.
George W. Bush had turned to stone.
Bill Clinton was keeping an eye out for Monica Lewinsky.
Hilary Clinton was licking her lips for 2016.
 
IT'S RENEWABLE RESOURCES STUPID!
 
 
 
 
 

Sunday, November 04, 2012

ELITE TEABAGS DOPE(S) AND DELUSION...AGAIN?

Since my wit and imagination are in a void, I'm reposting the following: 

 

Saturday, September 18, 2010


ELITE TEABAGS DOPE(S) AND DELUSION





The bituminous and bumpy road to 2012 is starting to bubble and boil with trouble and toil.

America...
Of what stuff are ye made?

Who shall we Americans put our trust in next?

To whom will we throw our precious marbles in November and 2012?

Will Ethics ever trump the quest for political power?

Will more or fewer politicians transcend their own thirsty Greed for position and power?

Will the election of new Senators and Congressman in November result in those who will defend and fight for the strapped and suffering poor---for the struggling and stymied Middle Class---instead of defending and fighting for the more than comfortable Super-Rich?

Tax what we consume and not our jobs!

Will fear continue to be the dominant sound that is vomited out of clangorous trumpets?

Will the ranting voices of radicals continue to be louder than the calmer notes of humanity and reason?

I fear for America.

I am fearful not because I believe those---or believe in them---whose arrogant and inflated egos are shrieking...

I am fearful because I fear that a growing number of Americans are suspending their critical thinking, and are now swallowing---hook, bait, and sinker---the radical, ruthless and disingenuous rhetoric of demagogues.

If you can't reach out to or teach people with facts, then just keep scaring them with fabrication!

You betcha!

Americans who are out of work will be voting for CHANGE AGAIN, but the change (and changes) that they are yearning and yelling for will not be as important and propitious as the current (and future) HOPE of the Obama administration.

The Tea-Baggers bellow a lot, but mostly for naught.

Their bellowing is not so much for the majority of the American people---or for social-environmental improvements---as it is for just kicking out an authentic and hopeful American who just happens to be black.
Oh, and one must not forget that their braying is also for the very wealthiest who have feathered their nasty nests.

The bigotry and racism of the Tea Party are more powerful than its humanism, but for the sake of the nation, hopefully they are not more persuasive.

The Disaster of the Bush Decade will not disappear with a Tea Party or Republican victory, but if victory is had, the effects of their return to power will repeat a history that cursed our nation in the previous decade.

I'll take the Hope of Democrats over the Change of the Tea Party and GOP anytime.
 
 
IT'S STILL THE OIL STUPID!

Thursday, November 01, 2012

ELECTION FOOTNOTES


 

 
 

I’m going to vote in few minutes.

In my gut I believe that Barack Obama will win.

Polls are indicating this.

***

Mitt Romney is so phony.

Phony smile.

Phony words.

Phony, phony, phony.

Liar.

I just hope that voters see through his unmitigated phoniness.

***

Three big cheers for Chris Christie and Michael Bloomberg!

These two aren’t phony, and neither is President Obama.

***

Well, I didn’t vote after all, but I will tomorrow.

Romney is producing more nausea and amnesia.

I require anesthesia after watching this phony.
***
The tide is rising, and Mitt’s ship is heading out to sea, hopefully to soon disappear, or scuttle. 
Vote!
 
IT’S THE OIL STUPID!