Tuesday, July 22, 2014

I WANT TO BE YOUR PRESIDENT



 



Rick Perry:

I am your fearless, four-eyed leader, and I won't allow the border to become a danger to this state or country.



Assistant to Governor Perry:

Sir, do you want your pistols?



Rick Perry:

Yes, give me my pistols so that I may wear them and appear to be a fearless, manly leader. Give me my sword, as well.



Assistant to Governor Perry:

Sir, do you want your samurai sword or your scimitar?



Rick Perry:

Both. I WILL need protection from the Left and Right.



Assistant to Governor Perry:

Should I also bring diapers and bibs for all of the immigrant children?



Rick Perry:

 SECURITY oF OUR COUNTRY IS PRIORITY NUMBER ONE ;  But, sure, bring the diapers and bibs.  they'LL MAKE me look MORE compassionate.



Assistant to Governor Perry:

Yes sir.   Oh, sir, your helicopter is ready to take you to view the border.



Rick Perry:

Great. Just let me put on my armor. I'll be right out.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!



Sunday, July 13, 2014

TO TOKE OR NOT TO TOKE








Citizen:

President Obama, do you want a hit?



President Obama:

Not today. I'm already a mile high. This is Colorado.



Citizen:

But this pot was homegrown here in the good old U.S.A.



President Obama:

I respect that, and I'm sure it's very good weed.



Citizen:

Right on! Here, take a joint for the ride home.



President Obama:

I'll pass on that, but you go ahead and get stoned out of your HEAD!



Citizen:

Right on!
 
 
 
 
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!














Friday, July 11, 2014

MOTLEY MOMENTS UNDER THE SUN


 
 






Walking through a jungle at night:

Flowers that glowed!



At the top of a mountain:

Hundreds of monarch butterlies in flight!



Hungry carp with gaping mouths:

Waiting for popcorn...

Or any food!



The Milky Way:

S t a r s!



Dandelions:

Tiny parachutes flying in the breeze!



Fields of swaying, tall, bright yellow mustard plants in India!



Motley melons and raisins in the Kabul bazaar!





Huge lenticular clouds in El Paso:

But I couldn't find my camera!




In an old house on Guam I lit one candle:

Biting termites swarmed!
 
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES! 



















Monday, July 07, 2014

ODDS AND ENDS


 
 
 



It's a shame that we don't pay enough attention to an author until that author dies.

This is not always the case.

I still need to read many works by authors who traveled to the undiscovered country quite some time ago:

Hesse.

Dostoyevsky.

Faulkner.

*

I was late in coming to watch the series Breaking Bad, but I'm watching a couple of episodes each day, and I'm in Season two, Episode 11.

[I finished all 5 seasons June 12!]

This series had me in its thrall like the novels of Dean Koontz

Mr. Koontz sent me a signed copy of one of his books and a thank you note after I wrote him and thanked him for writing books.

I was so shocked when I saw the package with his return address that I tripped and fell down at the mailbox.

Just a few abrasions.

I mailed my letter May 7th and received his on May 19th.

 
*


I just finished Tropic of Cancer by Henry Miller.

I read it years ago.

I found it rather dull, with only occasional flashes of brilliance.

*

I had my Henry Miller phase.

My Jack Kerouac phase.

Now it's my Dean Koontz phase.

*

Little bubbles are beginning to boil in the cauldron of the next Presidential election.
 
All candidates play hard to get.

I guess they believe that they are more credible when they don't come right out and announce that they're running.

Jeb Bush.

Hillary Clinton.


A spectacled Rick Perry is a wannabe but probably won't be.

New Jersey governor Chris Christie has not burnt his bridge yet.
 
Mitt Romney again?

Other dark horses are still in the shade.


 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!



































Monday, June 23, 2014

COFFEE & TOAST




He was twenty-four, footloose and free.

Poor.

Yet not unhappy.

It was the winter of 1972.

Beautiful Boulder, Colorado was blanketed with snow and ice.

But he had to escape this season of the freezer.

He headed south.

He didn't return to Colorado until the next Spring.
 
*

After warming up in Florida, he headed back to Colorado.

He had never tried hitchiking.

He spent a long time waiting for rides.

Quite boring.

His first rides were as different as day and night.

One was from a young man who kept asking if he was a Christian, and if he had been saved.

The young man kept accelerating when no answer was given.

It started to feel like a ride to hell.

He wanted to get out.

The young man finally slowed down.

He got out.

He must have said, “Yes, I've been saved! I've accepted Jesus into my life! Praise the Lord!”

*

The other ride was from an old timer.

The old timer gave him his lunch, then said “Good luck” and “Goodbye”.

It was an apple and some kind of sandwich.

*

Denton, Texas.

A large cockroach was walking across the cement in a filling station.

The filling station guy STOMPED the cockroach as he was giving directions.

*
New Mexico.

He spent all day on the interstate.

No rides.

It was already night.

A car stopped.

He walked up and tapped the window.

Inside a man was looking at a map.

He jumped when the window was tapped.

He rolled down the window, and said in an English accent, “Yes?”

Can you give me a ride?”

The man hesitated, then opened the door.

The driver said that he rarely picked up hitchikers.

He asked if it was ok if he drove fast.

He worked for People magazine, and he was in a hurry.

Whoosh!


*

Lordsburg, New Mexico.

It began to rain, so he crawled beneath one of the parked container trucks.

When the rain stopped he waited for big trucks to stop.

After a short time, a North American driver said to hop in, and that he was headed for Tuscon.

The driver offered him money, but he said, “No. Thanks for the ride.”

He had a dollar and seventeen cents.

*
 
Tuscon.

He walked into the cafeteria on the University of Arizona campus, and ordered a cup of coffee and toast.

The toast was cold and soggy, so he went to get a replacement.

One dollar and seventeen cents.


Coffee and toast.

*
 
Somehow he bumped into the same guy who had once “crashed” in his apartment in Colorado.

He was a son of the vice-president of Johnson & Johnson.

His nickname was Road.


Road loaned him ten dollars, and let him sleep on the roof of his apartment building.

While in Tuscon, and before heading back to Colorado, he met students, poets, potheads, and Satanists.

And he decided that he never wanted to hitchike again.


IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!


















Thursday, June 12, 2014

Iraq





Thank you

George

W(ar)

Bush!

Thank you

Richard

DICK”

Cheney!

Thank you both

for

NOTHING...

But

Death

Death

Death

In

Iraq!
 
 
 
 
 



IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

Tuesday, June 10, 2014

NUMBSKULLS


 
 


 

Can't you get it through your thick skull?”

You're so hard-headed!
 
 

Both are true of humans, but especially of male humans.


If you believe in evolution (“Don't monkey around with this one.”), then you might believe a recent report which indicates that humans developed thicker jaws and foreheads after they were able to curl their fists.

A curled fist was able to bash another face with much greater force.


Monkeys only did a lot of slapping.


To have more protection for their faces from the fists of others, stronger and thicker bone structure evolved:

...fisticuffs spawned our facial structure, a phenomenon that's even more pronounced in men.”

Of course, a lot of damaging blows resulted until evolution could do its thing.


But “For the past 2 million years, the face of Homo Sapiens has gradually become less robust...”

It's good that boxing gloves and protective head gear also evolved.




IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!