Sunday, November 22, 2015


I will close the mosques.
I am rich, very rich.
I can do what I want.
I will build huge walls everywhere.
I am a successful businessman.
I can do what I want.
I will tag and bag every Muslim and Mexican.
They will have to leave.
I am rich, very rich.
I can do what I want.
I will make America great again.
I am rich, very rich.
I can do what I want.


Thursday, November 19, 2015


New faces have been seen on Mars.
Even a mouse!
  Once again we have "proof" that "beings" lived on Mars.
  Now, if we can just stop humans from blowing each other up here on Earth, we might have the time, energy, and money to go to Mars and dig around, and find out what the dickens happened (AND is happening!) up there.

[From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia]

The term pareidolia (pronounced pæraɪˈdoʊliə) describes a psychological phenomenon involving a vague and random stimulus (often an image or sound) being perceived as significant.
Common examples include seeing images of animals or faces in clouds, the man in the moon, and hearing hidden messages on records played in reverse.
The word comes from the Greek para- —"beside", "with" or "alongside"- meaning, in this context, something faulty or wrong (as in paraphasia, disordered speech)—and eidolon—"image" (the diminutive of eidos—"image", "form", "shape"). Pareidolia is a type of apophenia.


I’m not one who lives and breathes superstition.

I don’t dine on dogma or drink religion.

I’m as at home with Lewis Thomas, Poe, Shakespeare, Vachel Lindsay, Emily Dickinson, Yeats, Baudelaire and Sandburg as I am with Dean Koontz.

But there are many bumps and curves on the Road of Existence.

What may appear to be true may not be.

What something seems may be something else.

I am quite skeptical when cute little faces of Jesus or the Virgin Mary (as if we knew what their faces looked like) appear on (or in?) objects and food.

The powers of human projection can put people on pleasant paths of self-fulfillment and delusion.
“That cloud looks like a poodle”.
“It sure does. Yesterday I saw a cloud that looked like an elephant.”

We see what we want to see whether what we see is there or not.

What we think we see may not be seen by others.

If it makes you feel good…

Then see it?

Nonetheless, as the above pictures indicate, I am a observer and collector of strange, weird, and arcane images.


I began a serious search for answers about the enigma of UFOs in 1982, buying every book I could find on this phenomenon.

One book with the word phenomenon in it---Anatomy of a Phenomenon by Jacques Vallee---was my primer on the entire subject.

When time and relevancy to the curriculum permit, I give my English classes a short presentation on UFOs.

[I just wrote a letter to Gore Vidal, telling him that I always have my English classes read his play Visit to a Small Planet.

In my letter I asked if he had the Roswell crash in mind when he wrote his play.

I hope Mr. Vidal answers my question.  Unfortunately, Mr. Vidal didn't get back to me. 

 And may he rest in peace.]


There is an universal tendency among mankind to conceive all beings like themselves, and to transfer to every object, those qualities, with which they are familiarly acquainted, and of which they are intimately conscious. We find human faces in the moon, armies in the clouds; and by a natural propensity, if not corrected by experience and reflection, ascribe malice or good- will to every thing, that hurts or pleases us.
David Hume

Pareidolia is a type of illusion or misperception involving a vague or obscure stimulus being perceived as something clear and distinct. For example, in the discolorations of a burnt tortilla one sees the face of Jesus Christ. Or one sees the image of Mother Teresa or Ronald Reagan in a cinnamon bun or a man in the moon. Under ordinary circumstances, pareidolia provides a psychological explanation for many delusions based upon sense perception. For example, it explains many UFO sightings, as well as the hearing of sinister messages on records played backwards. Pareidolia explains Elvis, Bigfoot, and Loch Ness Monster sightings. It explains numerous religious apparitions and visions. And it explains why some people see a face or a building in a photograph of the Cydonia region of Mars. Under clinical circumstances, some psychologists encourage pareidolia as a means to understanding a patient, e.g., the Rorschach ink blot test.Astronomer Carl Sagan claimed that the human tendency to see faces in tortillas, clouds, cinnamon buns, and the like is an evolutionary trait. He writes: “As soon as the infant can see, it recognizes faces, and we now know that this skill is hardwired in our brains. Those infants who a million years ago were unable to recognize a face smiled back less, were less likely to win the hearts of their parents, and less likely to prosper. These days, nearly every infant is quick to identify a human face, and to respond with a goony grin.”



"Why do people see faces in nature, interpret window stains as human figures, hear voices in random sounds generated by electronic devices or find conspiracies in the daily news? A proximate cause is the priming effect, in which our brain and senses are prepared to interpret stimuli according to an expected model. UFOlogists see a face on Mars. Religionists see the Virgin Mary on the side of a building. Paranormalists hear dead people speaking to them through a radio receiver. Conspiracy theorists think 9/11 was an inside job by the Bush administration. Is there a deeper ultimate cause for why people believe such weird things? There is. I call it 'patternicity', or the tendency to find meaningful patterns in meaningless noise."
"Traditionally, scientists have treated patternicity as an error in cognition. A type I error, or a false positive, is believing something is real when it is not (finding a nonexistent pattern). A type II error, or a false negative, is not believing something is real when it is (not recognizing a real pattern—call it 'apat­ternicity'). In my 2000 book How We Believe (Times Books), I argue that our brains are belief engines: evolved pattern-recognition machines that connect the dots and create meaning out of the patterns that we think we see in nature. Sometimes A really is connected to B; sometimes it is not. When it is, we have learned something valuable about the environment from which we can make predictions that aid in survival and reproduction. We are the ancestors of those most successful at finding patterns. This process is called association learning, and it is fundamental to all animal behavior, from the humble worm C. elegans to H. sapiens."


Patternicity: Finding Meaningful Patterns in Meaningless Noise

Why the brain believes something is real when it is not

By Michael Shermer


Friday, November 06, 2015


Finally there's a toilet smart enough to know what the scoop is on my pee and poop, AND will inform me when I need to poo or pee.

No **i*?”, you might exclaim.

Yes s*i*!”, I reply.

In today's world everything seems to be getting smarter and smarter, smaller and smaller, and faster and faster.

Any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic”, said Arthur C. Clarke.

Today is one, big Magic Show.

But do I really need to know anything more about my feces and pee, other than that I was able to get them out of my body?

I don't need to [or want to] know the ph, weight, temperature or anything else about my poop and pee.

Leaving the toilet for a moment, let's talk about exploring outer space.

It may soon be feasible to travel at very fast speeds to get to the Moon and Mars (please read the article to see the specifics).

Perhaps a smart toilet will  be necessary for these faster trips.


The wearable device is worn on your stomach and can tell you when it’s time to go to the toilet, with an app on your phone sending you reminder

Tuesday, November 03, 2015


China now allows parents to have a second child instead of killing it.

I know an American man who married his wife in China, but divorced her when she had to abort their child (her second).

The United States is still debating whether a mother should have the right to abort her unborn child.


Television is a pimp for sex.

Its commercials push various drugs that promise to enhance a man's manhood.

O.K. His penis.

These commercials show couples smooching and hugging, then one couple ends up sitting next to each other in separate bathtubs, I guess to relax from their strenuous and amorous exercises, during which time the man's manhood had already been enhanced.

The only thing missing is a video showing the amorous exercises that didn't require a pill or a bathroom.

It's wonderful sex on demand, all because the male had already enhanced his manhood, and was battle-ready.

No need to go to the bathroom or to take a pill when the moment was ripe for the couple's amorous exertions.

Without a video we don't know whether a cigarette was smoked at the end of the carnal calisthenics.

Speaking of cigarettes---and hot dogs---both now seem to be equal candidates for causing cancer.

Ralph Nader said that the hot dog was “one of America's deadliest missiles”, but Babe Ruth always bought four hot dogs, gave one to his dog, then ate the other three. Ruth died from nasopharyngeal carcinoma, a rare disease that causes less than 1% of cancer deaths in the U.S.
I don't know what caused his dog's death.


Sunday, November 01, 2015


"He can move his hands. He did move his hands.

The announcer happily announced.

We watch football like the Romans watched their gladiators.

It hurts sometimes to watch, but we watch, and we cheer, and we boo.

Until a very bad injury occurs.

We pause.

We stop drinking and eating for a few moments.

Our stomachs ache from what we just saw.

Then the player is taken off of the field.

But it's halftime.
We can breathe again.
Until the third quarter begins.

The injured player has been taken to a hospital.

The announcers will tell us later the status of this injured player.

But the game, the show, must go on.

We will continue to watch, to cheer, to boo, until the next traumatic injury occurs.

Football is a violent sport, but we love to watch it.


Tuesday, October 20, 2015

The Phallic Fungus


One word in the above article that caught my eye was Dictyophora.

I know it was my prurient brain that had this particular word igniting my neurons.

But we have to think and live with the brain that we have.

The prefix and suffix are apropos to the theme of the article.

(Dear reader, please read between the lines to see what I mean.)

A woman is aroused not by a male member, but by a plant whose genus name is Dictyophora.

Euphoria (phora?) and orgasm result when this odoriferous plant is encountered...that is, sniffed.

Seeing the plant is not a factor.

 "To trigger the reaction, the phallic fungus releases 'hormone-like compounds' that may be similar to human neurotransmitters during sexual encounters.”

The best thing for men to do is to not take their girlfriends or wives where this plant grows.

The best thing for women to do is to go where this plant grows...



Sunday, October 11, 2015


Hello everyone, this is God.

Yes, the One and Only God.

Although you have always called Me by different names, I'm still just Me.

(Yes, I do have a beard, but I'm bald.)

Lately some of you have been telling the world that I am going to end the world.

Not only this, you give specific dates.

Come on, humans, I set the Ball rolling, but I'm not going to be the One Who stops the Ball.

You are making that happen by yourselves.

So, please stop saying that I am going to end the world.

This is not fair to Me.

O.K. Now that I've gotten this off of My Chest, I can get back to playing strip poker with My Angels.