Thursday, November 06, 2014

THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO POT


 


Colorado and Washington State have made marijuana legal.


Alaska, Oregon, and Washington, D.C. are also on the verge of making Mary Jane legal.


All of the states need to legalize pot.


Citizens need to be relaxed when the new Republican majority in Congress gets back to their invading, occupying, and bombing.

President Obama was too busy working on improving the country.

Corporations don't make as much money when the government is busy worrying about making social improvements, instead of finding ways and means to make more and more money.

War is the money machine for corporations.


Keep the American people afraid and they will open their wallets and close their minds.

On second thought, perhaps the last thing that citizens should be is STONED ON POT.


All of us need to stay as alert as possible.




IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND OIL!















Wednesday, October 29, 2014

BASEBALL HEAVEN


Chewing and spitting,

Spitting and chewing

In game seven

Of

Baseball Heaven!

Giants and Royals,

Royals and Giants,

Chewing and spitting,

Spitting and Chewing

In game seven

Of

Baseball Heaven! 
Oh, also
 
Hitting!
 
 
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND BASEBALL!

Monday, October 20, 2014

KING TUT A CROCODILE ON MARS AND PREHISTORIC SEX





http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/19/latest-snap-from-the-red-planet-the-jaws-of-a-martian-crocodile-4911688/






My title might be a little ambiguous.



I don't mean that King Tut is on Mars.



Only a crocodile.



Or at least a formation of rocks that resembles a crocodile.



And the main point of this short letter is to complain about persons who feel the need to dig up “whoever”---whether it is Ricard III or King Tut
---and then tell us what they “really” look like (by "they" I don't mean those who are doing the digging, but those who are getting dug up...in case I was being ambiguous once again.)

 






Good Heavens, let the dead sleep the sleep of the dead, and don't bother them.



I don't want to know what kind of teeth they had.



I don't need to know what their cholesterol level was.



I don't need to know what killed them. 
 
 I don't want to know what they looked like under their clothes, in their sarcophagus, or inside their bones.
 


Please.



They're dead.



Stop doing this sort of thing.
 
 

As for a crocodile on Mars....



Whoever is saying this needs to be tested for drugs.



There are no little green men, crocodiles, cannons, or balls on Mars.

 But when it comes to knowledge about the origin and history of sex I am all eyes, arms, ears, and (fill in the blank): 




http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/10/20/scientists-discover-the-kinda-disgusting-origins-of-sex/?tid=hp_mm&hpid=z3

  
"The planet’s first act of sex 385 million years ago, as documented in fresh research published in Nature, wasn’t a gentle affair. It involved what paleontologist John Long described in an interview as 'a bone with a strange groove on it,' 'plates that helped lock the male organ into place like Velcro,' and a strange jig that was sort of like square dancing. It wasn’t poetic. It wasn’t touching. It was the awkward origins of sex.
'We didn’t expect these little suckers to have reproductive organs' Long, the study’s lead author and a professor at Flinders University in Adelaide, said. 
 

 



 





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND PREHISTORIC SEX!






Thursday, October 16, 2014

VETULICOLIANS AND HUMANS


 



Humans have allegedly had many distant cousins, including sea squirts, salps, and vetulicolians.

These latter creatures did not have to worry about nuclear bombs, global warming, or ebola.

It was a peaceful and innocent time.

Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga, the Kardashians, and terrorists weren't around yet.

Scientists have recently added vetulicolians to the list of human cousins.

These figure-eight shaped creatures had something like a backbone.

Scientists then make the hyperbolic leap to connect these primitive life forms to humans, calling them our cousins.

Monkeys and vetulicolians aren't my cousins.

(Maybe dogs.)

I don't have any proof or logic for my assertions.

I suppose that they are a sign of my own vanity and pride.

Just because I don't want something to be true doesn't erase the veracity.

But it strains my imagination and reason to call creatures 500 million years old my cousins.

For Heaven's sake they haven't even climbed onto or out of trees yet.

Give them some time to grow and evolve; let them swing from the trees before you call them human cousins.

Let them have that first drink.

Let them grow up and grow a pair.

(You can interpret this for either the male or female.)

When scientists call these primitive creatures our cousins, they demean and discredit God.

They need to stop doing this.


 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND OIL!












Monday, October 13, 2014

THE FIVE SENSES



Of any Flower by Dylan Thomas


    Hourly I sigh

For all things are leaf-like

    And cloud-like.


    Flowerly I die,

For all things are grief-like

    And shroud-like.










Humans have a multitude of senses. Sight (ophthalmoception), hearing (audioception), taste (gustaoception), smell (olfacoception or olfacception), and touch (tactioception) are the five traditionally recognized.



Which of the five senses do I value most?

What do I feel (i.e. touch)?

What can I see?

What do I taste?

What do I hear?

At this point I am like governor Rick Perry because I am at a loss to remember the fifth sense.

I know, Mr. Perry failed to remember a third thing, so my problem is a little more difficult than his, even though I haven't had any back surgery.

I can type away about other things such as the weather until I remember that other sense.

Well, the weather is cool today.

Last night it was gusty.

Now, which of my senses do I need to use for the above two observations?

Yes, that's right:

Feeling and Hearing.

I am still not getting that fifth sense yet.

I know that I just ate two potatoes.

Which sense did I use?

That's correct, my sense of taste.

Ah!

The fifth sense just came to me:

What do I smell?

So, which of the five senses do I value most?

Well, first, I can say that of the five, I value least the sense of touch.

How often do I need to touch something to know what it is or to appreciate it?

Not often.
 
Next, although I like to see nature, a fine painting, and watch movies, I suppose that of the remaining senses my sense of sight is less important to me than my senses of taste and hearing.

Now, as you know, smell and taste go hand in hand---or rather nose and tongue---(although this is a confusing conjunction, it makes more sense than saying tongue in nose).

So, I cannot eliminate taste or smell, because they rely upon each other.

I dearly love to hear music, birds singing, children laughing, etc.

 But I think my senses of smell and taste have more value for me than hearing.

So far here is the order of the senses and the ones that I value most:
 
1. Taste and smell
2. Sight
3. Hearing
4. Touch

It would be a terrible dilemma to be told that if I wanted to live I would have to eliminate any of my senses.

As I have already told you, I could live without my sense of touch.

I am thankful that I still have all of my senses, and I regret that I lost my marbles many years ago.

(A little joke.

My father gave me and my brother each a big bag of beautiful marbles when we were young.

I do not remember what I did with mine.)


 
 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND THE FIVE SENSES!











Thursday, October 09, 2014

IS THIS THE BEGINNING OF THE END?





 






Which of the following is the most dangerous:
 
1. ebola?
2. the Islamic state?
3. global warming?
4. Justin bieber?
                                                        

Okay.
 
I am only joking about Justin Bieber.



The correct answer is Global Warming.



Yes, Ebola and the Islamic State are not without peril, but neither will do as much harm as Global Warming.



Not until our hair begins to burn and our eye balls begin to fry, WILL WE we start taking Global Warming more seriously.



Or do I pine with extreme prejudice and pessimism?



People on islands whose homes are going under water from rising ocean levels take Global Warming seriously.



Polar Bears and Walruses take Global Warming seriously.



Republicans don't.



Every day should now be Earth Day.



It's not the End of the Beginning...



IT'S THE BEGINNING OF THE END.





IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND GLOBAL WARMING!