DON'T ASK AND DON'T TELL ON THE BATTLEFIELD

SOLDIER BOB:
Hey, Butch, how's it hanging?

SOLDIER BUTCH:
Hey, Bob, I told you to quit saying that.

SOLDIER BOB:
I don't mean anything by it...it's just my way of asking you how things are going.

SOLDIER BUTCH:
I know, but for me it's an unpleasant way to ask.

SOLDIER BOB:
Alright. I won't ask it like that again. So, how are you? What have you been up to?

SOLDIER BUTCH:
Just hanging out...I mean chilling until the next call to duty.

SOLDIER BOB:
Hold on...something's up.

SOLDIER BUTCH:
What is it? Some Incoming?

SOLDIER BOB:
No. It's the phone.

[SOLDIER BOB listens intently to the voice at the other end. A perplexed look is forming on his face.]

SOLDIER BUTCH:
It was Headquarters. The Commander just said that another Federal judge has reversed the decision on Don't Ask, Don't Tell.

SOLDIER BOB:
So?

SOLDIER BUTCH:
So we have to hold our fire. No more shooting. Hold on...it's the phone again. "Yes sir. Yes, we will, sir. Over and out."

SOLDIER BOB:
What is it now?

SOLDIER BUTCH:
We've been relieved of duty until we can legally be asked and tell again

SOLDIER BOB:
What should we do now?

SOLDIER BUTCH:
GET MARRIED!

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!