"Chief
Justice Roberts, President Carter, President
Clinton,
President Bush, President Obama, fellow Americans and people of the
world, thank you [and
especially Vladimir Putin].
We,
the citizens of America, are now joined in a great national effort to
rebuild
our country and restore its promise for all of our people. [Buy
your gas masks now while they're available.]
Together
we will determine the course of America and the world for many, many
years to come. [We
will watch oceans rise and the carbon footprint expand.]
We
will face challenges. [We
will challenge faces.]
We will confront hardships, but we will get the job done. [And
speaking of jobs, we will throw safety regulations out the window!]
Every
four years we gather on these steps [as
do the pigeons]
to carry out the orderly and peaceful transfer of power and we are
grateful to President Obama and First Lady Michelle
Obama for
their gracious aid throughout this transition. They have been
magnificent. Thank you.
[Forget
that I ever questioned your legitimacy or said that you were not an
American citizen.]
Today's
ceremony, however, has very special meaning because, today, we are
not merely transferring power from one administration to another or
from one party to another, but we are transferring power
from Washington,
D.C.,
and giving it back to you, the people. [And
to millionaires and billionaires such as myself.]
What
truly matters is not which party controls our government, but whether
our government is controlled by the people. January 20th, 2017, will
be remembered as the day the people became the rulers of this nation
again.
[I
am just an ego-maniacal, narcissistic billionaire.]
The
forgotten men and women of our country will be forgotten no longer.
[Just ignored]
Everyone
is listening to you now.
[And
surveillance cameras are watching you].
You
came by the tens of millions to become part of an historic movement,
the likes of which the world has never seen before. At the center of
this movement is a crucial conviction that a nation exists to serve
its citizens.
[Forget
that your Medicare and Social Security benefits will decrease or
disappear, or that your public schools may no longer be funded, or
that Global Warming will flood your cities.] .
Mothers
and children trapped in poverty in our inner cities [Let
them live on a low minimum wage],
rusted out factories scattered like tombstones across the landscape
of our nation, an education system flush with cash [That
I will flush down the toilet!]...this
American carnage stops right here and stops right now.
We
are one nation and their pain is our pain. Their dreams are our
dreams and their success will be our success. We share one heart, one
home and one glorious destiny. [Do
I sound like a fuhrer?]
We
will shine for everyone to follow. [Buy a lot of aluminum foil.]
We
will reinforce old alliances and form new ones and unite the
civilized world against radical Islamic terrorism, which we will
eradicate completely from the face of the earth. [We will also
eradicate clean water and clean air, but we will create a lot of
jobs.]
At
the bedrock of our politics will be a total allegiance to the United
States of America and, through our loyalty to our country, we will
rediscover our loyalty to each other. When you open your heart to
patriotism, there is no room for prejudice. [I do sound like a
fuhrer. Who is writing this stuff?]
Finally,
we must think big and dream even bigger. In America, we understand
that a nation is only living as long as it is striving. We will no
longer accept politicians who are all talk and no action constantly
complaining, but never doing anything about it. [Yes, I tweet, and
I will continue to do so.]
The
time for empty talk is over. Now arrives the hour of action. Do not
allow anyone to tell you that it cannot be done. No challenge can
match the heart and fight and spirit of America. We will not fail.
Our country will thrive and prosper again.
[So
says the fuhrer.]
We
stand at the birth of a new millennium ready to unlock the histories
of space, to free the earth from the miseries of disease and to
harness the energies, industries, and technologies of tomorrow.
[But
in the meantime we will unlock as much coal and petroleum as we can
from the earth!]
Thank
you. God bless you and god bless America. Thank you. God bless
America."
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND CHAOS
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