LAKESIDE AMUSEMENT PARK
The Fun House -- an iconic attraction mentioned most by old-school Lakeside visitors -- that was located where the Dragon now sits was one of the most visually notable parts of the park. A giant, animated papier-mâché puppet woman known as "Laffing Sal" greeted riders there with her hysterical cackle; word is she may still be in storage somewhere in the park.
No, this is not about Donald Trump.
But Because of Donald J. Trump our fate (and the world's) is inside the toilet.
Not on the seat.
TALE OF THE TUB
I had finished my shower on August 10, 2010.
It was mid-morning.
I should have had a Tarot reading before my shower.
I should have had someone do my bio-rhythm (I don't have the faintest idea what a bio-rhythm is. I just remember it from the seventies when it was being read.)
In fact, I did have mine read after I had had an accident in my Datsun truck, driving down Boulder Canyon.
I flipped the truck on a nasty curve.
I believe it was March 7 or 10, 1971.
Laura (Laura then, but later Madhavi---not the Indian actress.) read my bio-rhythm after my accident.
She told me that my bio-rhythm was very low that day.
She told me it wasn't a good day to be driving.
Later, I asked her what her name meant.
She said it meant divine light.
I should have done many things.
I didn't know, nor did I think about what my fate would be that morning.
Who ever does?
Well, maybe some of us do.
Nobody else was home.
And I was soon to become the person in the television commercial who says “I've fallen down and I can't get up.”
Except in my case it was“I've fallen down in the bathtub, and I can't get up.”
Actually, I had fallen into the tub.
I should let readers imagine how that happened.
Think about how I could have fallen into my bathtub.
Let your minds wander.
I'd love to hear your answers, instead of the mundane answer I'm about to give.
As I said, I had finished my shower.
And then...came that
twist of fate.
Centrifugal force is ubiquitous in our daily lives. We experience it when we round a corner in a car or when an airplane banks into a turn. We see it in the spin cycle of a washing machine or when children ride on a merry-go-round. One day it may even provide artificial gravity for space ships...
I guess this particular twist involved both centrifugal and centripetal forces.
If so, both did a good job, and should be congratulated.
Some day I may experience artificial gravity, but this time it didn't occur.
It was these two forces and gravity that brought me down.
There used to be a large disc in the funhouse at Lakeside Amusement Park in Colorado.
It rotated very fast.
The spinning began slowly, then gradually increased.
Humans who sat on the large disc were wont to get thrown off, and especially those who had been standing.
You held onto the wooden pancake for dear life, but eventually you were tossed off, and the friction usually rubbed off a considerable amount of epidermis.
My TWIST OF FATE was not so fun, but its velocity was on the same footing as the spinning disc.
Mine had an oval disc:
the toilet seat.
The holy seat did not spin until I put one of my feet on it to dry my toes.
The seat twisted, and w h o o s h!
I fell backwards into the bathtub.
I grabbed the rack behind the toilet, but it didn't stop my falling.
On my way into the bathtub I grabbed the shower curtains, and they came down with me as I jackknifed into the tub.
To be continued...
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND FATE