GET THE LEAD OUT OF YOUR CAUCUS!

“...I never can think of Judas Iscariot without losing my temper. To my mind Judas Iscariot was nothing but a low, mean, premature, Congressman.”

Mark Twain
- "Foster's Case," New York Tribune, 10 March 1873

***

UPDATE: 7-28-2011

I have a cartoonist's brain. The words and pictures are in my brain, but my hand is not deft enough (NOT daft) to draw what I hear and see, so I'll just describe what I would draw if I could, using the following words as the caption beneath my work of art:

"Get your ass in line," Boehner told the rank and file. "I can't do this job unless you're behind me."

I would draw Senator Boehner walking (an orange glow coming from the halo above his head). Mr. Boehner would be holding a golf club in one hand and the bill he wants signed in the other hand. Behind him are ALL of the House members, walking backwards BUT following behind Mr. Boehner with their own BEHINDS exposed!

NOTE: Words by Mad Plato are between parentheses.

"How many times does he
(Mr. Boner...I mean Boehner)
have to throw red meat to the extreme right in his caucus to please them?"

Sen. Charles Schumer (D) New York

***

“Anyone who says that either entitlement reform or tax increases are off the table does not have a plan for sustaining American greatness and passing on the American dream to the next generation.”

“Alas, that is the Tea Party. It is so lacking in any aspiration for American greatness, so dominated by the narrowest visions for our country and so ignorant of the fact that it was not tax cuts that made America great but our unique public-private partnerships across the generations. If sane Republicans do not stand up to this Hezbollah faction in their midst, the Tea Party will take the G.O.P. on a suicide mission. No American politician was more allergic to debt or taxes than Thomas Jefferson, but he also appreciated the need to have the resources to make the Louisiana Purchase and insisted that on his tombstone it be written that he founded the University of Virginia. “

Can’t We Do This Right?

By THOMAS L. FRIEDMAN

July 26, 2011

The New York Times

***

IT'S THE MONEY STUPID!

CONGRESSIONAL CONSTIPATION

"SPEAKER BOEHNER HAD SOME DIFFICULTY IN HIS CAUCUS."


President Barack Obama
(in the Brady Briefing Room at the White House in Washington, Friday, July 22)


WHAT THE HELL'S GOING ON STUPID?

ADVICE FROM GOD

“God was dealing with me. At 27 years old, I knew that I had been called to the ministry. I’ve just always been really stunned by how big a pulpit I was gonna have. I still am. I truly believe with all my heart that God has put me in this place at this time to do his will.”

Rick Perry

Characters:

God as Herself

Rick Perry as himself

Michele Bachmann as herself

Hermann Cain as himself

God:

O.K. This is for all of you to hear: Stop saying my name so much, or I’m taking you off of my list.

Rick Perry:

What list?

God:

My list of presidential candidates.

Hermann Cain:

Are you really God…Allah…or what?

God:

Watch it Mr. Cain!

Michele Bachmann:

What about “Lord, the day is at hand. We are in the last days. You are a Jehovah God…”

God:

No! That’s exactly what I’m talking about. Stop saying anything…unless I tell you to like I did George W. Bush.

Rick Perry:

You ARE a vengeful God!

Hermann Cain:

You must be a Democrat!

Michele Bachman:

And gay like my husband...oops!

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

NO TO MAYHEM AND TORTURE AND CUT IT OUT BUT NOT OFF!

The Global (One World?) Economy is in the same (sinking!) Ship, and we must not let the Ship sink---

BUT many rich cats (i.e. rats) want to abandon the common good---

to abandon the World---

in order for their coffers to continue to be filled.

Meanwhile, coffins of the poor and the middle class are filling the streets, and unemployment lines get longer and longer all over the Planet.

Yes, We, the people of this Planet, are in deep doo-doo, and that’s no dog tail (or tale).

The Economic Health (i.e., ills) of the Global Economy is NOT a private matter, as was the removal of a man’s penis---according to the husband of the woman who cut off his member while he was tied to his bed.

But congressmen and senators who oppose signing (and signing off on) both raising the debt ceiling and increasing the taxes on the SuperRich (Incomes of 1 million or more…NOT $250,000 or below)---

these recalcitrant senators and congressmen are doing to the World Economy what this wife did to her husband!

P.S.

AFTERWORDS:

Don’t cut off your tail

To spite your snake!

No reparative therapy is needed---

And it’s not a private matter!

Cut it out, but don’t

Cut it off!

Don’t turn it off

Like a light switch!

Barbarians don’t need to be educated, but

Senators and congressmen do!

Crap a pineapple if you don’t vote for raising the debt ceiling and increasing the revenue paid by the SuperRich!

And plug up those bungholes…

I mean loopholes!

PASS THE DEBT CEILING STUPID!

BO AT HIS PRESS CONFERENCE JULY 11, 2111

NOTE:
QUOTES in bold print WITH BO (PUN INTENDED) ARE BY BARACK OBAMA.
BO means Better Orator!

Dear readers:
Please remember to think about double meanings.
Thank you.


"HIS POLITICS WITHIN HIS CAUCUS ARE VERY DIFFERENT."

"I DON'T KNOW HOW MUCH JUICE YOU'VE GOT IN THE REPUBLICAN CAUCUS."
[BO]

"THE SAUSAGE MAKING HAPPENS BEHIND THE SCENES."
[Hmmm....]

"A LOT IS UP IN THE AIR."
[Yeah, and a lot of hot air is coming out of both caucuses.]

"KEEP YOUR BASE BUT CUT A DEAL."
[Sounds like a drug deal.]

"IT'S NOT JUST A BAD COP GOOD COP SHOW"

"I CONTINUE TO PUSH...FOR THE LARGEST POSSIBLE DEAL AND THERE'S GOING TO BE RESISTANCE."
[BO]
[Sounds like a big drug deal.]

"WE DON'T MANAGE OUR AFFAIRS IN THREE MONTH INCREMENTS."
[BO]

"AND IF WE THINK IT'S HARD NOW...IMAGINE HOW THESE GUYS ARE GOING TO BE THINKING SIX MONTHS FROM NOW WHEN THEY'RE ALL UP."
[BO]

"IT'S NOT GOING TO GET EASIER...IT'S GOING TO GET HARDER, SO WE MIGHT AS WELL DO IT NOW."
[BO]

"PEEL OFF THE BAND AID."
[BO]

"EAT YOUR PEAS."
[BO]



I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS STUPID!

RAISING THE DEBT CEILING

FOOD POISONING
IRRITABLE BOWELS
AND
QUOTE OF THE DAY:

"If he wants to get this done he'd better talk to his caucus."

And...

"If you can look at the deficit and not see that the problem is that the rich stopped paying taxes, you're a Republican."
[Bill Maher]


IT'S THE *MONEY STUPID!

*GREED

BUSHOBAMA

NOTE:
President Obama, I apologize for posting the top photo above, BUT I just read this article today (July 5, 2011...And how free do we all feel after July 4th?):

http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2011/06/obama-has-finally-become-dick-cheney/241116/




"Oil is much too important a commodity to be left in the hands of the Arabs."

Henry Kissinger

PAGE 1

It’s time for the United States to invade China before it (America…not China) completely runs out of money.

Not really.

The U.S. has already been invaded by China, occupying us with all of those goodies that we buy at Wal-Mart, et al.

We won’t bite or bomb hands that feed us (unless those hands are clenching gold or the golden spigots of oil wells.)

Iraq.

Afghanistan.

Libya.

Iran.

We will liberate (i.e., invade and occupy) any country if it has an abundant amount of petroleum or gold.

As a bonus, we’ll send hundreds of our private businesses and corporations to bring some democracy.

***

PAGE 2

Conspiracy theories [CTs] are as popular as cell phones, and nearly as voluminous as worms.

One very strange CT was that George Bush Senior wanted Kuwait to be invaded by Saddam Hussein in order to give the casus belli for invasion:

July 25, 1990

[Ambassador April Glaspie at the Presidential Palace in Baghdad]

Ambassador Glaspie:

"We have no opinion on your Arab-Arab conflicts, such as your dispute with Kuwait. Secretary (of State James) Baker has directed me to emphasize the instruction, first given to Iraq in the 1960's that the Kuwait issue is not associated with America."

(Saddam smiles.)

The Pentagon, the Banks, and Corporations are just fine with foreign Invasions and Occupations, and will always hope for more and more monsters to slay, and for more and more freedom fighters and rebels to assist.

***

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!