READING BETWEEN THE FOWL LINES

President Bush Visits Fort Campbell
Fort Campbell, Kentucky
November 25, 2008

[This is an extremely abbreviated and edited version]

THE PRESIDENT:
Thank you. Please be seated -- unless, of course, you don't have a seat.
[Or a conscience like me]

(Laughter.)

I am honored to be here at Fort Campbell.

(Applause.)

I have one word for you:
Hooah!
[And one word for myself: Hooey!]

(Applause.)

You know, we're getting ready to celebrate Thanksgiving. I'm looking forward to it.
[And getting away from all of the other turkeys here in Washington]

(Applause.)

The day before my first Thanksgiving as your President, guess where I was.

AUDIENCE MEMBER:
Right here!

THE PRESIDENT:
Right here at Fort Campbell.

(Applause.)

For those of you who weren't here, I can only say that watching a bunch of Screaming Eagles tear into turkey is quite a sight.
[But that’s nothing compared to the sight of big bombs that tear into screaming men, women, and children]

(Laughter.)

Over the past seven years, folks from this base have done exactly what they were trained to do. The Screaming Eagles, the Night Stalkers, the Fifth Special Forces Group have gone on the offense in the war against these killers and thugs. You have taken the battle of the terrorists overseas so we do not have to face them here in the United States.
[That sounds a bit like what I did. My speechwriter didn’t get enough sleep]

(Applause.)

You have helped counter the hateful ideology of tyranny and terror with a more hopeful vision of justice and liberty.
[ WITH MY PRE-EMPTIVE SHOCK AND AWE WARFARE!]

You're part of the great ideological struggle of our time.
[If Voltaire were here he would ask me to define my terms]

(Applause.)

The war on terror, the war against people who would do us harm again, is being waged on two main fronts -- Afghanistan and Iraq. In Afghanistan, we removed an oppressive regime that harbored the terrorists who planned the attacks that killed 3,000 folks on September the 11th, 2001.
[No fact-checking, please. We now know most of the terrorists came from my family’s oil sheikh buddies in Saudi Arabia]

Because of our men and women in uniform, more than 25 million Afghans are free.
[Free to become stoned out of their heads from opium before they're killed]

Afghanistan is a democracy, an ally in the war on terror. And as a result of your courage, the American people are safer.
[But not the Afghan people]

The other main front in the war on terror is Iraq.

(Applause.)

Because we acted, the dictator, his sons, and their regime are no more. More than 25 million Iraqis are free.
[And millions more are refugees, while hundreds of thousands of others have died]

And a young democracy has taken root where a tyrant once ruled. Removing Saddam Hussein was the right decision then -- and it is the right decision today.
[Just as your Decider, I've made the decision to keep catapulting my propagandistic clichés]

(Applause.)

You know, this is going to be my last Thanksgiving as President.

(Applause.)

So Laura and I wish you and your families a safe and happy Thanksgiving.


IT'S THE TURKEY STUPID!