THE REVENGE OF KIM JONG UN

"Is this kimchee button?"

Kim Jong un:

아, 씨발...Ah, Shi-bal! I really piss off!

U.S. Government whack my Internet!

Commander Dong Poo:

What we do Supreme Leader?

Kim Jong un:

We fight back! We destroy dastardly imperialists!

Commander Dong Poo:

How Supreme Leader?

Kin Jong un:

We bomb them with strongest kimchee (hangul: 김치 )!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader! I shop now for cabbage!

Kim Jong un:

Red cabbage! Remember...we communists!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader!

Kim Jong un:

My rockets ready to deliver my kimchee?

Commander Dong Poo:

Supreme leader, we have no intercontinental missiles.

Kim Jong un:

아, 씨발...Ah, Shi-bal! Then email my kimchee!

Commander Dong Poo:

Supreme leader, we have no internet.

Kim Jong un:

Call China!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

DOWN HERE OUT THERE AND INSIDE THE SOUL

*

“The final mystery is oneself. When one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped out the seven heavens star by star, there still remains oneself. Who can calculate the orbit of his own soul?”

Oscar Wilde

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

George W. Bush

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/12/19/ghostly-new-fish-discovered-at-record-breaking-depths/?hpid=z4

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/12/19/after-a-hardware-failure-the-kepler-spacecraft-finds-a-second-life-and-an-important-new-exoplanet/

*

Humans.

Fish.

Exoplanets.

*

My dad did a lot of fishing.

A whole heck of a lot of fishing.

Some trout stayed in dark holes inside the deeper parts of the river, but they didn't escape his piscatorial acumen.

I was the netter, but I mostly spent my time climbing on the cactus-laden mountains.

There were very few other humans where dad fished (and I explored) because of a pulley that we rode to get across the river when it was too deep to walk across.

Dad had his fish and I had Nature.

All to ourselves.

*

I didn't pay much attention to the heavens back then.

Pine trees, mountains, and the river had much more relevance than the stars and planets above.

Space travel and outer space were not in the picture.

It was here on earth that mattered most.

We weren't concerned about our carbon footprints, just our feet.

The word terrorism never crossed our lips.

Hands held fishing poles instead of iPhones and iPads.

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

PITY THIS BUSY MONSTER MANUNKIND

"God...are you in there?"

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2872035/Better-faster-stronger-Large-Hadron-Collider-set-restart-March-DOUBLE-power-help-scientists-learn-God-Particle.html

Scientists are still looking for God, or at least for His Particles.

Why?

Why can't we just leave God and all of His Stuff alone?

I'm certain that He's quite busy.

We don't want to piss Him off (again), do we?

*

Scientists want to know too much.

How did the universe begin?

What is dark matter?

How much anti-gravity is there?

Where did the Earth get its water?

Should I have protons or neutrons for dinner?

*

Look what happened when scientists found out too much about Mr. Atom.

Yes, this gave the world nuclear power plants.

But IT also GAVE THE WORLD big, dirty, nuclear bombs.

*

Forget about colliding this and that proton.

Go TO the park and throw a Frisbee, and let its protons do SOME spinning.

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

 

RECTAL FEEDING DICK CHENEY AND GEORGE W. BUSH

 

Dick:

Is this the Decider?

Yeah, this is Dick.

Bush:

Hi Dick, how's it hanging?

Dick:

Dubya, I wish you wouldn't say that.

Bush:

O.K.

How's the old ticker?

Dick:

I'm hanging in there.

Quack.

Bush:

So Dick, what's up?

Dick:

The Democrats are dragging our butts through the torture mud again.

Bush:

Butts and Torture? You mean rectal feeding?

Dick:

Quack.

Yes.

Bush:

What's the problem? It's nutrition at both ends.

Dick:

Quack.

Right.

Our butts are covered at both ends.

Bush:

Alright.

It's all good.

Well, Dick, I've got to get back to my painting.

Dick:

Quack.

What are you painting today?

Bush:

Kim Kardashian's butt.

Dick:

O.K. Dubya.

I'll see you at the ranch.

Bush:

Right.

We can waterboard some more armadillos.

Dick:

Quack!

 

 

 

 

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND TORTURE!

THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2931375/Bill-Gates-says-fear-robot-uprising-Microsoft-founder-says-agrees-Elon-Musk-dangers-AI.html 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2859104/Will-aliens-ROBOTS-Intelligent-life-turned-AIby-time-make-contact-expert-claims.html
"The next evolutionary step could be we are post-biological," said Dr Schneider. Recently experts in Washington DC discussed chances of finding alien life. Seti astromoner Dr Shostak said we "could be the first generation to know we are not alone."


 

http://rt.com/uk/211019-hawking-warning-artificial-intelligence/

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2907069/Don-t-let-AI-jobs-kill-Stephen-Hawking-Elon-Musk-sign-open-letter-warning-robot-uprising.html#ixzz3OiXuKtVC


 

*

Send in the Robots!

 

 

Let them come.

 

 

Humans are too smart to allow machines to dominate their world.

 

 

But hold the phone, which I'm sure most of you are doing right now...or your laptops...

Our world is already dominated by machines.

 

 

It can only get better...I mean worse.

Amazon has these cute, circular machines that deliver products to their correct destination.

Schools are relying more and more on computers and not teachers to teach lessons (maybe not a bad idea).

Just put a Robot Teacher in the room that looks like a human to soothe the memory of what once was.

When extraterrestrials get here (no, they're not here yet...just on the FOX Channel), maybe they will be robots, and our robots can greet them.

Who knows?

Send in the Robots!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND ROBOTS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY

 

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me.       

Pooh

(A.A. Milne, from Winnie-the-Pooh)

*

http://www.cbsnews.com/ne

ws/100-brains-missing-from-university-of-texas/

 

 

*

It is a good thing that our brains stay with us all of the time.

We work, play, and sleep without any worry that our brains will be somewhere else.

They sit safely within our osseous braincases.

Football players have extra protection when they wear helmets, and if their helmets  come off during battle, their brains don't.

Nonetheless, even with their helmets and hard brainpans, a football player's noggin can get concussions.

But most of us don't play football, so we don't have to worry about this.

*

When I am dead, my brain will be barbecued---I mean cremated---along with the rest of me. 

Nobody will get the chance to pilfer my brain.

I will be dust once again from whence I came.

My brain will not be inside a jar in any laboratory, in some hole in the ground, or on anyone's mantel.

I am not rich and famous, so

my brain wouldn't be on anyone's most wanted list.

I also don't plan to donate myself to science.

And except for science, who else would want to have anyone's brains?

The recent report of missing brains is intriguing.

Was it a crazy person who likes brains in their omelettes?

Was it some strange brain cult that uses brains in their ceremonies?

I have no idea.

But a brain is still a horrible thing to waste!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND BRAINS!

ROADS BRIDGES POOP AND GRAPHENE

 

 

 

http://www.cbsnews.com/news/falling-apart-america-neglected-infrastructure/

H

The world always seems to be on the brink.

During the Soviet-Cuban missile crisis in 1962 the world was on the brink of World War III.

UFO enthusiasts believe the world is on the brink of invasion (or that we have already been invaded.)

Congress is on the brink of vacation a lot, so they aren't on the brink of much of anything except their next vacation.

Congress has dragged its fruitless feet when it comes to rebuilding and repairing America's bridges and roads.

Congress is quick on the draw in funding war, but slower than molasses when it comes to getting the money to rebuild America.

Ebola...

Voila, there's money!

 

The Islamic State...

Voila, there's money!

John Boehner's orange face should be turning crimson from shame as his GOP ignores this nation's falling bridges and deteriorating roads.

We shouldn't expect much from self-deluded politicians who deny that there is any Global Warming.

*

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2851571/Graphene-breakthrough-trigger-electric-car-revolution-Proton-discovery-paves-way-super-efficient-batteries.html

H

oil may be at the end of its rope, instead of us at the end of ours.

If the above breakthrough is true, and its applications can be put on a fast-track , we may yet escape the perils of global warming and drastic climate changes.

*

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2850994/Blast-Researchers-reveal-rocket-powered-POOP-powerful-bring-astronauts-moon.html

H

there's oil and graphene, and then there's poop.

Poop for fuel.

Not here, but on the moon.

This is something that all of us can give a big sh*t about!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL graphene and poop!

FUNGAL DRONES AND OTHER STUFF

 

 

 

Here's recent news about what the “universe” looked like shortly after the Big Bang:

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2839279/The-Big-Bang-s-kiss-light-detected-Echo-universe-s-beginnings-13-8-billion-years-ago-detected-microwave.html

I'm always interested in dolphins. Here is an article about their evolution:

http://www.nytimes.com/2014/11/11/science/signs-of-the-evolutionary-step-ichthyosaurs-took-from-land-to-sea.html?ref=science&_r=0

Here's some news that's sweet and sour:

http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/wonkblog/wp/2014/11/15/the-worlds-biggest-chocolate-maker-says-were-running-out-of-chocolate/?hpid=z4

I nearly choked on my egg burrito when I read about this newest toy in our Brave New World:

http://www.techswarm.com/2014/11/bio-drones-made-from-fungus-and.html

 

 

http://rt.com/news/205519-fungus-bio-drone-nasa/

 

 

 

 

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND OIL!

THE COUNTRY IS GOING TO POT

 

Colorado and Washington State have made marijuana legal.

Alaska, Oregon, and Washington, D.C. are also on the verge of making Mary Jane legal.

All of the states need to legalize pot.

Citizens need to be relaxed when the new Republican majority in Congress gets back to their invading, occupying, and bombing.

President Obama was too busy working on improving the country.

Corporations don't make as much money when the government is busy worrying about making social improvements, instead of finding ways and means to make more and more money.

War is the money machine for corporations.

Keep the American people afraid and they will open their wallets and close their minds.

On second thought, perhaps the last thing that citizens should be is STONED ON POT.

All of us need to stay as alert as possible.

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND OIL!

BASEBALL HEAVEN

Chewing and spitting,

Spitting and chewing

In game seven

Of

Baseball Heaven!

Giants and Royals,

Royals and Giants,

Chewing and spitting,

Spitting and Chewing

In game seven

Of

Baseball Heaven! 

Oh, also

 

Hitting!

 

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND BASEBALL!

KING TUT A CROCODILE ON MARS AND PREHISTORIC SEX

http://news.discovery.com/space/curiosity-finds-a-weird-ball-on-mars-140924.htm

http://metro.co.uk/2014/10/19/latest-snap-from-the-red-planet-the-jaws-of-a-martian-crocodile-4911688/

My title might be a little ambiguous.

I don't mean that King Tut is on Mars.

Only a crocodile.

Or at least a formation of rocks that resembles a crocodile.

And the main point of this short letter is to complain about persons who feel the need to dig up “whoever”---whether it is Richard III or King Tut

---and then tell us what they “really” look like (by "they" I don't mean those who are doing the digging, but those who are getting dug up...in case I was being ambiguous once again.)

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2799418/king-tut-girlish-hips-club-foot-buck-teeth-according-virtual-autopsy.html

Good Heavens, let the dead sleep the sleep of the dead, and don't bother them.

I don't want to know what kind of teeth they had.

I don't need to know what their cholesterol level was.

I don't need to know what killed them. 

 I don't want to know what they looked like under their clothes, in their sarcophagus, or inside their bones.

Please.

They're dead.

Stop doing this sort of thing.

As for a crocodile on Mars....

Whoever is saying this needs to be tested for drugs.

There are no little green men, crocodiles, cannons, or balls on Mars.

 But when it comes to knowledge about the origin and history of sex I am all eyes, arms, ears, and (fill in the blank): 

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/10/20/scientists-discover-the-kinda-disgusting-origins-of-sex/?tid=hp_mm&hpid=z3

  
"The planet’s first act of sex 385 million years ago, as documented in fresh research published in Nature, wasn’t a gentle affair. It involved what paleontologist John Long described in an interview as 'a bone with a strange groove on it,' 'plates that helped lock the male organ into place like Velcro,' and a strange jig that was sort of like square dancing. It wasn’t poetic. It wasn’t touching. It was the awkward origins of sex.
'We didn’t expect these little suckers to have reproductive organs' Long, the study’s lead author and a professor at Flinders University in Adelaide, said. 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND PREHISTORIC SEX!