THE REVENGE OF KIM JONG UN

"Is this kimchee button?"

Kim Jong un:

아, 씨발...Ah, Shi-bal! I really piss off!

U.S. Government whack my Internet!

Commander Dong Poo:

What we do Supreme Leader?

Kim Jong un:

We fight back! We destroy dastardly imperialists!

Commander Dong Poo:

How Supreme Leader?

Kin Jong un:

We bomb them with strongest kimchee (hangul: 김치 )!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader! I shop now for cabbage!

Kim Jong un:

Red cabbage! Remember...we communists!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader!

Kim Jong un:

My rockets ready to deliver my kimchee?

Commander Dong Poo:

Supreme leader, we have no intercontinental missiles.

Kim Jong un:

아, 씨발...Ah, Shi-bal! Then email my kimchee!

Commander Dong Poo:

Supreme leader, we have no internet.

Kim Jong un:

Call China!

Commander Dong Poo:

Yes, Supreme Leader!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

DOWN HERE OUT THERE AND INSIDE THE SOUL

*

“The final mystery is oneself. When one has weighed the sun in the balance, and measured the steps of the moon, and mapped out the seven heavens star by star, there still remains oneself. Who can calculate the orbit of his own soul?”

Oscar Wilde

“I know the human being and fish can coexist peacefully.”

George W. Bush

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/12/19/ghostly-new-fish-discovered-at-record-breaking-depths/?hpid=z4

http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/speaking-of-science/wp/2014/12/19/after-a-hardware-failure-the-kepler-spacecraft-finds-a-second-life-and-an-important-new-exoplanet/

*

Humans.

Fish.

Exoplanets.

*

My dad did a lot of fishing.

A whole heck of a lot of fishing.

Some trout stayed in dark holes inside the deeper parts of the river, but they didn't escape his piscatorial acumen.

I was the netter, but I mostly spent my time climbing on the cactus-laden mountains.

There were very few other humans where dad fished (and I explored) because of a pulley that we rode to get across the river when it was too deep to walk across.

Dad had his fish and I had Nature.

All to ourselves.

*

I didn't pay much attention to the heavens back then.

Pine trees, mountains, and the river had much more relevance than the stars and planets above.

Space travel and outer space were not in the picture.

It was here on earth that mattered most.

We weren't concerned about our carbon footprints, just our feet.

The word terrorism never crossed our lips.

Hands held fishing poles instead of iPhones and iPads.

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

PITY THIS BUSY MONSTER MANUNKIND

"God...are you in there?"

 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2872035/Better-faster-stronger-Large-Hadron-Collider-set-restart-March-DOUBLE-power-help-scientists-learn-God-Particle.html

Scientists are still looking for God, or at least for His Particles.

Why?

Why can't we just leave God and all of His Stuff alone?

I'm certain that He's quite busy.

We don't want to piss Him off (again), do we?

*

Scientists want to know too much.

How did the universe begin?

What is dark matter?

How much anti-gravity is there?

Where did the Earth get its water?

Should I have protons or neutrons for dinner?

*

Look what happened when scientists found out too much about Mr. Atom.

Yes, this gave the world nuclear power plants.

But IT also GAVE THE WORLD big, dirty, nuclear bombs.

*

Forget about colliding this and that proton.

Go TO the park and throw a Frisbee, and let its protons do SOME spinning.

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!

 

RECTAL FEEDING DICK CHENEY AND GEORGE W. BUSH

 

Dick:

Is this the Decider?

Yeah, this is Dick.

Bush:

Hi Dick, how's it hanging?

Dick:

Dubya, I wish you wouldn't say that.

Bush:

O.K.

How's the old ticker?

Dick:

I'm hanging in there.

Quack.

Bush:

So Dick, what's up?

Dick:

The Democrats are dragging our butts through the torture mud again.

Bush:

Butts and Torture? You mean rectal feeding?

Dick:

Quack.

Yes.

Bush:

What's the problem? It's nutrition at both ends.

Dick:

Quack.

Right.

Our butts are covered at both ends.

Bush:

Alright.

It's all good.

Well, Dick, I've got to get back to my painting.

Dick:

Quack.

What are you painting today?

Bush:

Kim Kardashian's butt.

Dick:

O.K. Dubya.

I'll see you at the ranch.

Bush:

Right.

We can waterboard some more armadillos.

Dick:

Quack!

 

 

 

 

 

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND TORTURE!

THE ROBOTS ARE COMING!

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2931375/Bill-Gates-says-fear-robot-uprising-Microsoft-founder-says-agrees-Elon-Musk-dangers-AI.html 

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2859104/Will-aliens-ROBOTS-Intelligent-life-turned-AIby-time-make-contact-expert-claims.html
"The next evolutionary step could be we are post-biological," said Dr Schneider. Recently experts in Washington DC discussed chances of finding alien life. Seti astromoner Dr Shostak said we "could be the first generation to know we are not alone."


 

http://rt.com/uk/211019-hawking-warning-artificial-intelligence/

Read more: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/sciencetech/article-2907069/Don-t-let-AI-jobs-kill-Stephen-Hawking-Elon-Musk-sign-open-letter-warning-robot-uprising.html#ixzz3OiXuKtVC


 

*

Send in the Robots!

 

 

Let them come.

 

 

Humans are too smart to allow machines to dominate their world.

 

 

But hold the phone, which I'm sure most of you are doing right now...or your laptops...

Our world is already dominated by machines.

 

 

It can only get better...I mean worse.

Amazon has these cute, circular machines that deliver products to their correct destination.

Schools are relying more and more on computers and not teachers to teach lessons (maybe not a bad idea).

Just put a Robot Teacher in the room that looks like a human to soothe the memory of what once was.

When extraterrestrials get here (no, they're not here yet...just on the FOX Channel), maybe they will be robots, and our robots can greet them.

Who knows?

Send in the Robots!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND ROBOTS!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

THE GREAT BRAIN ROBBERY

 

I am a Bear of Very Little Brain, and long words bother me.       

Pooh

(A.A. Milne, from Winnie-the-Pooh)

*

http://www.cbsnews.com/ne

ws/100-brains-missing-from-university-of-texas/

 

 

*

It is a good thing that our brains stay with us all of the time.

We work, play, and sleep without any worry that our brains will be somewhere else.

They sit safely within our osseous braincases.

Football players have extra protection when they wear helmets, and if their helmets  come off during battle, their brains don't.

Nonetheless, even with their helmets and hard brainpans, a football player's noggin can get concussions.

But most of us don't play football, so we don't have to worry about this.

*

When I am dead, my brain will be barbecued---I mean cremated---along with the rest of me. 

Nobody will get the chance to pilfer my brain.

I will be dust once again from whence I came.

My brain will not be inside a jar in any laboratory, in some hole in the ground, or on anyone's mantel.

I am not rich and famous, so

my brain wouldn't be on anyone's most wanted list.

I also don't plan to donate myself to science.

And except for science, who else would want to have anyone's brains?

The recent report of missing brains is intriguing.

Was it a crazy person who likes brains in their omelettes?

Was it some strange brain cult that uses brains in their ceremonies?

I have no idea.

But a brain is still a horrible thing to waste!

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES OIL AND BRAINS!