Sunday, May 29, 2011

IT'S A LONG WAY TO TIPPERARY




Paul used to say, “It’s a long way to Tipperary” and “What’s the story Bob?”

Both of these fit the incipient (isn’t that a cute word?) stages of the 2012 “race” to the White House.

But the race is more like a slow-moving glacier or mudslide, upon which sit (among others) Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney.

Newt, Trump, and Huckabee have slid off.

For pundits and comics, however, it is Sarah Palin who is the main attraction (or distraction).

Then there are two other dark horses (or potential horses’ asses):

Jeb Bush and Rick Perry.

Both are cute and slimy (or slithery).

The 2012 Presidential election will probably see more money used to buy it than any other in American history.

May the best candidate win the election and not he or she who has spent the most money.

But this is America.



IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

Saturday, April 09, 2011

BOEHNER’S CAUCUSES


“John Boehner is having a difficult time in his caucus.”

“How do I deal with all these groups in my caucus?”

“He tried to be a reasonable man with his caucus.”


***


caucus Look up caucus at Dictionary.com :

1763, Amer.Eng., perhaps from caucauasu "counselor, elder, adviser" in the Algonquian dialect of Virginia, or the Caucus Club of Boston, a 1760s social & political club whose name possibly derived from Mod.Gk. kaukos "drinking cup." Another candidate is caulker's (meeting). The verb is from 1850.



IT'S THE CAUCUS STUPID!

WAR AND HAIR PIECE









REPORTER:
Mr. Trump, where were you born?

DONALD TRUMP:
I was born in New York, June 14, 1946.

REPORTER:
And your hair?

DONALD TRUMP:
On the top of my head. Ha, ha.

REPORTER:
Mr. Trump, do you really think that you can prevail in 2016 and become the next president of the United States?

DONALD TRUMP:
Yes.

REPORTER:
But, sir, how can you possibly be a credible candidate when you now call yourself a birther?

DONALD TRUMP:
When President Obama can produce video footage of his birth in the United States I will concede that he is a U.S. citizen.

REPORTER:
And your hair?

DONALD TRUMP:
I will remove all of the hair on my head and from my entire body when Barack Obama comes clean on his citizenship.

REPORTER:
Thank you, Mr. Trump.

DONALD TRUMP:
My pleasure.




IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES AND HAIR!

Saturday, April 02, 2011

GOD WAR AND THE NATIONAL ANTHEM

With God On Our Side
By Bob Dylan

Oh my name it is nothin'
My age it means less
The country I come from
Is called the Midwest
I's taught and brought up there
The laws to abide
And the land that I live in
Has God on its side.

Oh the history books tell it
They tell it so well
The cavalries charged
The Indians fell
The cavalries charged
The Indians died
Oh the country was young
With God on its side.

The Spanish-American
War had its day
And the Civil War too
Was soon laid away
And the names of the heroes
I's made to memorize
With guns on their hands
And God on their side.

The First World War, boys
It came and it went
The reason for fighting
I never did get
But I learned to accept it
Accept it with pride
For you don't count the dead
When God's on your side.

When the Second World War
Came to an end
We forgave the Germans
And then we were friends
Though they murdered six million
In the ovens they fried
The Germans now too
Have God on their side.

I've learned to hate Russians
All through my whole life
If another war comes
It's them we must fight
To hate them and fear them
To run and to hide
And accept it all bravely
With God on my side.

But now we got weapons
Of the chemical dust
If fire them we're forced to
Then fire them we must
One push of the button
And a shot the world wide
And you never ask questions
When God's on your side.

In a many dark hour
I've been thinkin' about this
That Jesus Christ
Was betrayed by a kiss
But I can't think for you
You'll have to decide
Whether Judas Iscariot
Had God on his side.

So now as I'm leavin'
I'm weary as Hell
The confusion I'm feelin'
Ain't no tongue can tell
The words fill my head
And fall to the floor
If God's on our side


***

I have nothing against God.

But what did He have against humans?

Look at what He created.

Personally, if I was the Almighty, I would be a little upset with Myself.

Nay, I would be Mightily upset and very guilty and regretful at making this monster ("Paragon of Animals").

Maybe Jesus came here to get his Father off the hook.

But on another issue:

The National anthem has some poetic and nice words, but then there are all of those bombs bursting in the air (and on islands, deserts etc.).

Yes, I'm glad that our flag was there and is still here, and not the flag of Russia, Japan, Germany, England, or Libya.

As a superpower, we must keep our imperial muscles flexed

...our mighty missiles and bombs ready!

We will continue to sing our beloved, (jingoistic?), and patriotic anthem by Mr. Key.

For those who prefer to hear “America the Beautiful” instead of “The Star Spangled Banner”, let us recall that America has not always been Beautiful.

Nonetheless…

GOD SAVE THE WORLD!


P.S.

To General Electric:

PAY YOUR FAIR SHARE OF FEDERAL INCOME Taxes!

KEEP AMERICAN JOBS HERE!

Not in #@&@&^$!!!!



IT'S THE OIL STUPID!


***


NOTE:

The above was inspired by the letter below.



A woman wrote a letter appearing on March 24 that our national anthem is hard to sing and suggested it should be, "America the Beautiful."

It will never happen because of one line in that beautiful song, "God shed His grace on thee."

The next is probably also offensive to some:

"And crown thy good with brotherhood."

Many atheists are very vocal in denouncing the very mention of God. It cannot be mentioned in our schools or appear on any of our public buildings.

It is printed on our money and they detest that.

Our Constitution gives us freedom of religious choice, not freedom from religion!

Separation of church and state, I believe, stemmed from the fact that at that time governments were more controlled by the Roman Catholic Church than by their kings---England by the breakaway Anglican Church established by King Henry the VIII.

Many of our present states were established as religious colonies and we did not have true religious freedom of choice if we were in the wrong colony.

Carl Iseminger



THE STAR-SPANGLED BANNER

O! say can you see by the dawn’s early light,
What so proudly we hailed at the twilight’s last gleaming,
Whose broad stripes and bright stars through the perilous fight,
O’er the ramparts we watched, were so gallantly streaming?
And the rockets’ red glare, the bombs bursting in air,
Gave proof through the night that our flag was still there;
O! say does that star-spangled banner yet wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave?

On the shore dimly seen through the mists of the deep,
Where the foe’s haughty host in dread silence reposes,
What is that which the breeze, o’er the towering steep,
As it fitfully blows, half conceals, half discloses?
Now it catches the gleam of the morning’s first beam,
In full glory reflected now shines in the stream:
’Tis the star-spangled banner, O! long may it wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

And where is that band who so vauntingly swore
That the havoc of war and the battle’s confusion,
A home and a country, should leave us no more?
Their blood has washed out their foul footsteps’ pollution.
No refuge could save the hireling and slave
From the terror of flight, or the gloom of the grave:
And the star-spangled banner in triumph doth wave,
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave.

O! thus be it ever, when freemen shall stand
Between their loved home and the war’s desolation.
Blest with vict’ry and peace, may the Heav’n rescued land
Praise the Power that hath made and preserved us a nation!
Then conquer we must, when our cause it is just,
And this be our motto: “In God is our trust;”
And the star-spangled banner in triumph shall wave
O’er the land of the free and the home of the brave!


IT'S THE OIL STUPID!


Friday, March 18, 2011

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!



Coo coo ca choo!

Coup?

Coup?

Coup?

KOOKY

COUP?


Stuck in flypaper glue once again?

Kick the hot sand?

Strike up the band?

Get ready

To put boots and bombs

In a foreign land

Once again?


IT'S THE OIL STUPID!





Saturday, March 05, 2011

PHOBIAS



1. HoodOphobia:
Fear of hitting your head on the corner of a kitchen stove's exhaust fan hood.

1. BathtubOphobia:
Fear of falling backwards into a bathtub after showering.

2. RepublicanOphobia:
Fear of any Republican becoming president of the United States.

3. FartOphobia:
Fear of farting in a crowded elevator.

4. SnotOphobia:
Fear of releasing snot bubbles from either nostril.

5. RearOphobia:
Fear of hitting anything while you're moving backwards (especially in a vehicle).

P.S.,
I'm sure there are others, but I'm going into my kitchen to make a sandwich.
Have no fear!

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!







Friday, February 04, 2011

DEMOCRACY DICTATORS AND HORSEFLIES



" ...the United States and its allies have taken the position that despotism is acceptable in the Middle East, as long as the despots in question provide useful services. "

[From "No more free passes for Egypt and other Arab autocracies" By Eugene Robinson,
Washington Post, February 4, 2011]



" You will recall that even Saddam Hussein was once in the 'useful tyrant' category, partly because of Iraq's huge oil reserves and partly because he had been considerate enough to launch a war against Iran. Only after invading Kuwait and threatening Saudi Arabia did he move to the top of the U.S. enemies list; the despotic royal families that rule the oil-rich kingdoms and sheikdoms lining the Persian Gulf are more useful than Hussein ever was. "

[From " No more free passes for Egypt and other Arab autocracies " by Eugene Robinson,
Washington Post, February 4, 2011]



" We're more isolated than ever before in the Arab world because of our Interventionism. "

[Pat Buchanan on
Morning Joe, MSNBC, February 4, 2011]



" The overriding objective is a period of stability during which secularists and other democratic elements of civil society can organize themselves for the coming elections and prevail. ElBaradei is a menace. Mubarak will be gone one way or the other. The key is the military. The United States should say very little in public and do everything behind the scenes to help the military midwife---and then guarantee---what is still something of a long shot: Egyptian democracy. "

[From " Toward a soft landing in Egypt ", by By Charles Krauthammer,
Washington Post, Friday, February 4, 2011]

Below are the first and last paragraphs of Juan Cole’s excellent synopsis/analysis of the situation in Egypt, and discusses the “ties” between the U.S., Israel, and Egypt.

“As long as the president and the Congress are willing to lie down and serve as doormats for America’s supposed allies in the Middle East– out of a conviction of the usefulness of their clients and the inexpensiveness of putting them on retainer– there will be anti-Americanism and security threats that force us to subject ourselves to humiliating patdowns and scans at the airport and an erosion of our civil liberties every day. We are only one step away of being treated, with “protest zones” and “Patriot Acts” just as badly as the peaceful Egyptian protesters have been.”
“It should be remembered that Egypt’s elite of multi-millionaires has benefited enormously from its set of corrupt bargains with the US and Israel and from the maintenance of a martial law regime that deflects labor demands and pesky human rights critiques. It is no wonder that to defend his billions and those of his cronies, Hosni Mubarak was perfectly willing to order thousands of his security thugs into the Tahrir Square to beat up and expel the demonstrators, leaving 7 dead and over 800 wounded, 200 of them just on Thursday morning.”

From Mubarak Defies a Humiliated America, Emulating Netanyahu by Juan Cole/Posted on 02/03/2011 by Juan

[http://www.juancole.com: Thoughts on the Middle East, History and Religion]




***

"I am dying, Egypt, dying."
Antony and Cleopatra (IV, xv, 41)


Somoza!
Horse fly!
The Butcher of Baghdad!
War cry!
The Peacock Throne!
Bye bye!
The Pharaoh's Throne!
Stand by!
Muslims!
Mummies!
Communists!
Terrorists!
Dictators!
Friends turn into Foes as
Fast as Rains become Snows!
Dictators will be allies
Even though they are bad guys!


IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

Saturday, January 22, 2011

TWO SUNS FOR THE PRICE OF ONE


An artist’s impression, inspired by the sharpest ever views of the
supergiant star Betelgeuse, reveals an enormous plume of gas almost as
big as our own Solar System blasting outwards.







Keep those insulated shoes on!
Earth may get a second sun if Betelgeuse blows its humongous top---
Then get ready to
hop,
hop,
hop!
The sky will be brighter with light---
Both day and night!
Will this happen anytime soon?
It will either happen tomorrow---
Or in a million years!
So get ready to shut your shutters!
Get ready to draw your curtains!
Get ready to wear polarized sunglasses!
Stock up on aloe vera, vitamin e, and vaseline!
It might be a bumpy ride from sunset to sunrise!
Oh, heck, forget about it!
Don't lose any sleep!
Betelgeuse can cook its goose---
But I'm not going to let it slip me in any noose!


IT'S THE OIL STUPID!


http://www.telegraph.co.uk/science/space/8275530/Second-sun-on-its-way.html