"Welcome to your first day of Ethics Training.
When you leave today you will feel more ethical.
You will speak and act more ethically.
The President has the greatest confidence that there will be no more ethics' issues.
Our leader believes that sins, even if any were committed, are a thing of the past.
This administration has three more years to...as the President has said...get the job done. As time passes, you will know more about just what this job is. But right now your commander-in-chief wants you to concentrate on your etiquette...I mean your ethics training. Are there any questions?
OK. Let's begin.
Find a hoola-hoop and a party hat.
It's time to twist to some Chubby Checker!"
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