Saturday, April 10, 2010



"I just need to clean up my round."
Tiger Woods
April 10, 2010

"I have the same holes to make birdies."
Tiger Woods
April 10, 2010

"My wool bra* wasn't too good."
Tiger Woods
April 10, 2010

*It was nearly impossible to understand what Tiger was saying at his brief, post-Masters interview today, but I replayed his words five or six times, and finally came up with wool bra.
I'm still not sure.
My first choices were wheel barrow and wall bear.
Dave, Jay, Bill (Maher NOT O'Reilly), Keith Olbermann, and Stephen Colbert are sure to tell us their version.
Until then, here are some other things that I heard during the broadcast of this year's Masters.
Maybe I'll hear more zingers on Sunday.
Oh, my own words are inside the parentheses.


"...very holeable."

"It's very sticky up that little slope."

"Nicely holed."

"He's basically holed everyone."

"His stroke has looked immaculate...very clean."

"He's looking for one decent swing."

"...just yank on the leash after the first bounce."

"It was a good swing...but the wrong wrench." (Not wench)

"How brave can he be, Peter?" (Not How brave can his Peter be?)

"Tiger was aching for one of those roars." (Not whores)

"This was his favorite hole."

"He's used up so much energy preparing for the golf course." (Not for the intercourse.)

"If it spins just a fraction harder it squirms into the hole."

"Pretty good drive...and nearly hit Tiger's ball." (Not balls)

"He's not quite sure how to get the club out in front of him."

"He's trying not to hit the pole by making sure he hangs on and fades."

"The tension now is like a giant will slowly tighten more and more."

"Right up and down for Tiger."

"He holes it from 139."

"Keep the breathing down...keep the breathing down into your belly." (Not your pants)



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