MORE BREAST-BEATING

REPORTER:

Madonna, your fans are now wondering whether flashing your breasts is going to become a staple of your concerts. Do you plan on routinely popping out these little puppies?

MA:

I don’t know yet. My breasts seem to have a mind of their own, if you know what I mean.

REPORTER:

No, I don’t. What do you mean?

MA:

Well, it’s as if they talk to me, and let me know if they want to come out of the darkness, and face the music, my fans, and the cameras.

REPORTER:

What effect does all of this have on you?

MA:

It’s quite exhilarating and liberating. It rather titillates me, and I do hope that this titillation carries over to my fans.

REPORTER:

You seem quite nonchalant about exposing your breasts in public. Don’t you have any shame at all?

MA:

Of course not. I have always loved my breasts. I feel no shame whatsoever, except about your question.

REPORTER:

Do you want your daughter to follow in your footsteps?

MA:

When she’s twenty-one, she can make her own decisions. And you can ask her.

REPORTER:

There is a rumor circulating that Lady Gaga has said that your breast-beating…I mean your breast-baring…is nothing more than brazen breast bravado.

MA:

If she had breasts she might try some of her own breast-beating…I mean breast-baring. It sounds like Miss Gaga is jealous.

REPORTER:

Madonna,thanks for baring your chest on baring your chest.

MA:
You’re quite welcome. Now, do you wish to see the left one or the right one? It’s on me.

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!