Some say they want to take away our right to bear arms.
No, you can keep your hands and arms.
Just make sure they aren’t holding any guns or bullets.
Smoking went out the door.
And out of the parks.
You have to go to Mars or the Moon if you want to take that drag.
No second-hand smoke!
They have nearly removed all sugar from chewing gum.
Most gum has something called aspartame in it.
Printed on myriad, sugarless products are a couple of cute-sounding, innocuous words (if you can read their tiny print!) called Phenylalanine and Phenylketonurics.
Welcome to the world of Rumsfeld’s Disease!
I guess it was o.k. to ban those hydrogenated oils.
But the other night I broke down and bought me a $1 cheeseburger and a large fries at the Golden Arches.
Then after chewing one or two of the fries, I remembered the video I had just watched a week earlier where this dude left various McDonald’s goodies out for hours, days, and weeks.
Under these glass domes.
Everything turned to goop and mold except for the fries.
They were out for months, and still hadn’t changed the way they looked!
Fresh as sliced, golden daisies!
(I realize this was an awkward description, but it sounded good.)
What the hell is in these fries?
What the hell do they do to our minds and bodies?
No more McFries for me!
But all of these things is not the point of this gobbledygook.
It’s about the ban on 16 ounce sodas.
Mayor Bloomberg seems to have lost his mind.
And he wants to take away one more vice from New Yorkers.
Let the public decide whether to sip, slurp, or gulp.
IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES