BOMBS GAY CHICKENS AND THE HAND OF PROVIDENCE

REPORTER:

Mr. Romney, you’ve recently run into a few snags here in the United States as well as during your visit to Europe and the Mideast.  What exactly has happened?

MR:

Excuse me, but you’ve created a negative impression by the way you’ve asked your question.  I am a fisherman, and so I’m familiar with snags, but please be more specific about the snags.

REPORTER:

 Yes sir.  One snag was created on Feb 1, 2012,  when you said, "I'm not concerned about the very poor.  We have a safety net for the poor in, and if there are holes in it, I will work to repair that.”  

And yet, more recently you stated:

  “My campaign is about helping the people who need help. The course the President has set has not done that – and will not do that.  My course will.”

MR:

 Forgive me for one moment while I use my Etch A Sketch.  There, I’ve removed one side of that snag.  What else do you have?

REPORTER:

Sir, while in London you had a lot of critics who chastised or satirized your opinions about the way this year’s Olympics might go.

MR:

Hold on.  There.  Gone.  I just love this Etch A Sketch.

REPORTER:

I know you do sir, and that is just the point.  Voters are wondering how effective you would be as President if you constantly erase what you say, and then say it differently.

MR:

I am not ashamed of my money.  I am not ashamed of being rich.  I am not ashamed of having my big Etch A Sketch with me all of the time.  This country deserves better.  I believe that I will be better for this nation than Barack Obama. 

REPORTER:

Thank you Mr. Romney.  Any final comments?

MR:

Yes, let’s get the ball moving on Iran. Hold it!  I can hear John McCain.  He’s humming, “Bomb, bomb Iran”.  Providence's hand is reaching out again!

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!