THE 47%

 "IF YOU THINK THAT'S FUNNY, WAIT UNTIL THEY FIND OUT THAT I'M RAISING THEIR TAXES AND ELIMINATING THEIR HEALTH CARE!"

[NOTE: Mitt Romney said the following off the record just before being interviewed.]

I’m not a free-loader, but I enjoy the freedom to freely keep my money in other places other than the United States.

I am super-rich, and I was the son of a father who could have been Mexican, but he had parents who were Americans when he lived in Mexico and helped to spawn me.

Some critics say that I’m more interested in getting the job of president of the United States than I am in serving as president of the United States.

It must be the way I smile my boyish smile, and keep that look of disbelief on my face that I might soon become the most powerful leader in the world.

 ***

REPORTER:

Welcome Mr. Romney, and thank you for allowing me to ask you a few questions.

Mitt Romney:

You’re welcome.  Thank you for inviting me.

REPORTER:

Sir, how do you think your campaign is going?

Mitt Romney:

I’ll know in November.

REPORTER:

Are you concerned about recent polls that indicate that Obama is now ahead of you?

Mitt Romney:

Concerned, yes.  Worried, no.

REPORTER:

Sir, why won’t you let Americans see more than just a couple of your Income Tax filings?

Mitt Romney:

That fish is dead.  Next question.

REPORTER:

Mr. Romney, the fish may be dead, but its stink is still with us.

Mitt Romney:

Again, as my wife has indicated, you aren’t getting any more tax forms.

REPORTER:

Alright. 

REPORTER:

Let me move on to foreign affairs.

Mitt Romney:

I have no affairs.  I am a faithful and devoted husband.

REPORTER:

I know this, sir.  Let me be more specific.  Do you plan to bomb Iran?

Mitt Romney:

If Iran makes one atomic weapon, then that country’s you know what is grass.

REPORTER:

And that brings me to my next question: As president, would you be in favor of legalizing marijuana?

Mitt Romney:

Heavens , no.  I have too many donors and supporters who are in the Pharmaceutical industry to ever let that happen.

REPORTER:

Finally, sir, do you plan to keep horses at the White House if you are elected in November.

Mitt Romney:

No, just a few elephants.  I hope they like peanut butter sandwiches as much as I do.

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!