NEW TSA RULES

 

 

The former head of transportation security says a new policy that allows small knives on commercial planes doesn't go far enough, and should include weapons such as 'battle axes' and 'machetes.'

Kip Hawley, the former chief of the Transportation Security Administration, said anything that wouldn't be able to harm an aircraft's functionality should be allowed on board.

'In retrospect, I should have done the same thing,' Hawley told CNN of the rule, which has caused widespread confusion and outrage, especially among especially among the families of victims of the 9/11 terrorist attacks.

'They ought to let everything on that is sharp and pointy,' Hawley said. 'Battle axes, machetes ... bring anything you want that is pointy and sharp because while you may be able to commit an act of violence, you will not be able to take over the plane. It is as simple as that.'

Hawley added, 'So my position would be, bravo on the 2.6 inch knife. But why not take it all the way and then really clean up the checkpoint where officers are focusing on bombs and toxins, which are things that can destroy an airplane. And it would smooth the process, cost less money, and be better security.'

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2289937/Former-TSA-chief-says-MACHETES-BATTLE-AXES-allowed-flights.html#ixzz2MxoKGU6i

 

TSA:

Sir, you can bring the sword but not the pen knife.

MALE PASSENGER:

For Pete’s sake, my pen knife is tiny.

TSA:

Sir, rules are rules.

MALE PASSENGER:

What about my cross bow?

TSA:

That’s fine.  Just NOT your pen knife.

Mam, no tweezers allowed, but your spear is allowed.

FEMALE PASSENGER:

But my tweezers are itsy-bitsy compared to my spear.

TSA:

Sorry, mam…

FEMALE PASSENGER:

I know, “rules are rules”.

TSA:

Correct.

Son, you can bring the bat, but not the slinky.

BOY PASSENGER:

What’s wrong with my slinky?

TSA:

It can be used to strangle someone’s neck.

BOY PASSENGER:

Well, my bat can be used to bash in someone’s head.

TSA:

Sorry, rules are rules.

(An elderly woman in a wheelchair is holding a rosary)

TSA:

Mam, you will have to give me those beads.  The frying pan is o.k. 

ELDERLY WOMAN:

But I need my rosary to pray for a new Pope.

TSA:

Sorry mam, but no beads or chains…Pope or no Pope.

ELDERLY WOMAN:

But I’m praying with them, not planning any terroristic attack.

TSA:

Sorry, but rules are rules.

 

Suddenly, all of the above passengers attack the TSA employee with the pen knife, tweezers, cross-bow, spear, and frying pan.   



UPDATE [April 24, 2012]:
http://www.homelandsecuritynewswire.com/dr20130424-tsa-reverses-course-on-knivesonplanes-policy

 

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