TRICK OR TREAT?

 

Ghouls, ghosts, and witches---I mean the United States Congress---have already tricked and treated us, and our turkeys are next in line to get their axe.

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Halloween was always one of my favorite times, just as it is one of if not the most favorite time for dentists and candy companies.

Forget that sugar is bad for us, or that it feeds cancer cells.

We love our sweets!

All of history has always loved sweets!

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I hesitate to buy all of the candy necessary to hand out this Thursday night, as poor as I am, but I still might fork out the twenty-five or thirty bucks needed.

I always buy the candy that I like, so I don’t get so depressed spending a small fortune on future cavities and carcinomas.

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One Halloween when I was thirteen, my mom forced me to “dress up” as a girl.

Mom used to say after I had spent such a long time in front of the bathroom mirror combing my hair, “You should have been a girl”.

I guess she had that in mind when I was costumed as a girl.

It was a strange idea, but I knew I wanted candy, so I didn't argue.

The couple in a house across the street was giving out caramel corn balls. 

The husband and I used to play catch on weekends.

  He was a softball pitcher.  His balls came at me very fast, but I was a very good catcher.  I stuffed this huge catcher’s mitt with newspapers to cushion the impact of the fast-moving balls.

But he didn’t know me this Halloween night.

I removed my dress and put on a white sheet, and went back to get me another corn ball!

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I felt like murdering people who handed out pennies.

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One Halloween I was ready to call it quits for the night, but went to this apartment for one last handout.

The man handed me a gallon jug of apple cider that was about half-full.

I took it home and gave it to my mom.

She said that it had gone sour.

I wanted to go back and murder the apple cider man.

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America.

What a country!

The home of beer, big Macs…

AND CANDY!

 

IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!