CIGARETTES AND HOMELAND SECURITY

HOMELAND SECURITY: Sorry, but you'll have to extinguish that cigarette.
SMOKER: But I'm outside for Pete's sake!
HOMELAND SECURITY: But Pete and the general public do not want to inhale the smoke from your second hand.
SMOKER: What?
HOMELAND SECURITY: I mean your second-hand smoke. It's THE LAW.
SMOKER: O.K. Where can I smoke?
HOMELAND SECURITY: At home.
SMOKER: But I want to smoke now. My home is 50 miles from here.
HOMELAND SECURITY: Sorry, but you're breaking THE LAW by smoking here.
SMOKER: Just let me take this last puff...
HOMELAND SECURITY: NO! YOU'RE UNDER ARREST. IN THE NAME OF HOMELAND SECURITY HAND OVER THAT PACK OF CIGARETTES AND PUT YOUR HANDS BEHIND YOUR BACK!

ANNIVERSARY OF U.S. SHOCK AND AWE INVASION

"The new money for the Iraq occupation comes on top of the $50 billion in supplemental war funding that the Congress had already approved for the current fiscal year, after spending $100 billion last year. And the administration says it will be back soon seeking another $50 billion for the coming fiscal year. All of this spending is in addition to the record $439.3 billion defense budget the president submitted to Congress." John Nichols, Three Years of War With No Checks, No Balances, The Nation, 3/18/06

George W. Bush & the NeoCon cabal under him (or over him) wanted to invade Iraq...WELL BEFORE all of the "bad intelligence."
The President’s NeoCon gang [Rove, Perle, Cheney, Wolfowitz, Rumsfeld, etc.] were licking their lips WELL BEFORE 9-11.
George W. Bush placed America in a messy and bottomless bog in Iraq.
The Iraq bog is not limned by the Long War President as a boondoggle, but as another important (but lethal) chapter of American history that he believes will turn the pages of Freedom and Democracy.
But the melody of the old tune is changing.
Yes, the U.S. will remain until there is “VICTORY”.
But it is now the Iraqis who must take charge and decide if
they want to live in unity AND peace OR war.
The Long War President is greasing wheels of the cart which will turn and shuttle troops out of Iraq just in time for the 2006 elections.
Iraq is over.
Iran is before us.
America and the world will be Bush-Whacked once again!
BUT THE AMERICAN PUBLIC MUST RAISE THEIR VOICES AND CAST THEIR VOTES TO PUT A STOP TO THIS DESPOT AND HIS FOLLOWERS!

FINISH THE JOB IN IRAQ!

03/16/06 - TIKRIT, Iraq, March 15 (Reuters):
"Major Ali Ahmed of the Ishaqi police said U.S. forces had landed on the roof of the house in the early hours and shot the 11 occupants, including the five children."
"After they left the house they blew it up," he said.
Another policeman, Colonel Farouq Hussein, said autopsies had been carried out at Tikrit hospital and found "all the victims had gunshot wounds to the head".
"The bodies, their hands bound, had been dumped in one room before the house was destroyed, Hussein said. Police had found spent American-issue cartridges in the rubble."




"Finish the job?"
Complete the mission?"
What do these statements mean?
Kill more and more Iraqis while killing the "TERRORISTS"?
Kill the sects who are fighting each other?
Can this be accomplished with more and more violence?
Will this be achieved with more and more air assaults (the most since the invasion!)?
Embroiled in an imbroglio, sinking deeper into the morass...Victory must not be far behind.
We remember Vietnam.
The increased bombing and escalation did not end that war.
But the Long War President and the GOP need to show the American public that they are in charge...
gaining ground...
making progress...
on the road to victory...
securing freedom and democracy...


BUT...

"Stories of American missiles hitting the homes of innocents are passed between Iraqi men at teahouses and during Friday worship services."
"Residents worry that their homes will be bombed at any time," said Hussein Ali Jaafar, who owns a stationery shop in the town of Balad, north of Baghdad, which was targeted by bombs or missiles at least 27 times between October 2005 and February 2006. "Most of the bombing is unjustified and random. It does not differentiate between militants and innocent people."
"A tribal sheik who lives on the outskirts of the troubled Anbar town of Ramadi, who asked that he be identified as Abu Tahseen instead of by his full name out of fear of possible retribution, said that the strikes create more insurgents than they kill because of the region's tribal dictates of revenge."
"They (the Americans) think: `As long as there are resistance fighters operating in this spot, we will wipe it out entirely,'" Abu Tahseen said, using the term for insurgents favored by Iraqis sympathetic to their cause. "As you know, our nature is a tribal one, and so if one from us is killed, we kill three or four in return." Tom Lasseter, Knight Ridder Newspapers, 3/14/06

Osama Jadaan al Dulaimi, a tribal leader in the western town of Karabilah, a town near the Syrian border that was hit with bombs or missiles on at least 17 days between October 2005 and February 2006, said the bombings had created enemies:

"The people of Karabilah hate the foreigners who crossed the border and entered their areas and got into a fight with the Americans," al Dulaimi said. "The residents now also hate the American occupiers who demolished their houses with bombs and killed their families ... and now the people of Karabilah want to join the resistance against the Americans for what they did." Tom Lasseter, Knight Ridder Newspapers, 3/14/06

INSECT CYBORGS

Honey: Did you hear about the latest experiments by DARPA? They're going to implant micro-electro-mechanical systems (MEMS) into insects such as dragonflies and moths...even into hopping and swimming insects!
Beau: Why?
Honey: To create Insect Cyborgs.
Beau: Explain.
Honey: Well, these flying insects can go where humans can't.
Beau: And do what?
Honey: Find bombs. Chemicals. Gas.
Beau: How?
Honey: With sensors that are implanted into an insect when it’s still in the pupal stage. The body of the insect will then heal wounds and reposition internal organs around the minute mechanical structures that have been implanted.
Beau: How will they know where the Insect Cyborgs go?
Honey: They’ll use Remote Control and GPS (Global Positioning System).
Beau: I'm glad I'm a lizard.
Honey: I'm glad I'm a worm.

FOWL TALK

Pepe: We are getting a bad rap from this Bird Flu scare.
Carolina: Yes. It’s a foul thing, but we still have our job to do.
Pepe: Well, at least your job. Mine isn't to lay eggs, but to greet the morning sun.
Carolina: Don't act so proud. Have a little empathy for my pains.
Pepe: Sorry. I’m upset. It isn’t our fault if we get the flu. And we live and peck on this earth for only a short while.
Carolina: At least people are getting prepared in case we do get sick.
Pepe: How?
Carolina: Well, people are being asked to put tuna fish and powdered milk under their beds.
Pepe: And what do we do?
Carolina: I don't know.
Pepe: I do. We'll put crackers and chicken soup under our nests!

QUESTIONS FROM AN EXTRATERRESTRIAL

1. Why do humans take so many drugs with all of those strange names?
2. Why can't humans on TV make their mouths move at the same time that they speak?
3. What attracts your dogs to fire hydrants?
4. Why are your hamburgers made under golden arches?
5. Where do those square-shaped fish come from?
6. Why do humans walk and drive around with phones stuck to their heads?
7. Why do you have so many wars?
8. What happened to your music?
9. Why do you drink so much alcohol when you know that it will give you headaches and make you sick?
10. When are you going to leave your puny solar system?

A BUNGLING BUCKEROO IN THE OFFICE OF SPECIAL PLANS

Speaking at a news conference after the talks, President Bush said:
 "It's a necessary agreement. It's one that will help both our
peoples."

"According to official World Health Organization and Department of State statistics, global deaths per year due to physical violence amounted to 1,600,000 (2002), traffic
accidents, 1,200,000 (2004), and terrorism 625 (2003)."

Peoples? 
Pupils? 
Pimples? 
Choose one.
It doesn’t matter. 

The Long War President was bungling the English language.

He had bungled beyond belief.
He had bungled when he wire-tapped citizens in the United States.
He had bungled when he approved of Torture.
He had bungled in NOT bagging Osama bin Laden.
He had bungled on Katrina.
He had bungled on the Ports.
He had bungled and belied on Iraq.[See Below]
He had bungled when he bestowed nuclear weapons to India.This big-time bungler-spender…this bellicose and bamboozling bungler…this bombastic break-the-law bungler…this bumptious and babbling bungler…
THIS BUNGLING BUCKAROO HAD BLATANTLY BILKED AND BANKRUPTED THE AMERICAN PEOPLE! 


WHAT WAS IT ALL ABOUT?


"The CIA was totally undercut since the day Bush occupied the White House (when) he set up a thing called the WHIG (the White House Iraq Group). Basically it was (also) called the Office of Special Plans and this was a group made up of individuals controlled by Mr. Cheney; (they were) Paul Wolfowitz, Michael Leanen, Richard Perle, John Hannah, people like that".

"They were basically involved in creating or gathering intelligence which that they thought was important, as far as proving the case for the war in Iraq. What we know now is that this Office of Special Plans or this WHIG, never really gathered any intelligence at all about the war in Iraq, (but rather); they MANUFACTURED the evidence for the purpose of taking American boys to their deaths, based on a lie."

"Folks, the evidence in. It is the Office of Special Plans. It was a surreptitious conspiracy to take the American people to war for financial and political reasons."

"George W. Bush and Dick Cheney, with deliberation and intent, took this country to war in Iraq based on false premises, inflated intelligence and bald-faced scare tactics. They used September 11 against their own people to get what they wanted. That is the heart of this matter."

"The Office of Special Plans, or OSP, was created by Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld specifically to second-guess and reinterpret intelligence data to justify war in Iraq."

"The OSP was on no government payroll and suffered no Congressional oversight. Their tainted information and interpretations overtopped the Iraq data being provided by the State Department and CIA. The OSP was able to accomplish this thanks to devoted patronage from high-ranking members of the administration, most prominently Vice-President Cheney."

"The highest levels of the OSP were staffed by heavy-hitters like Under Secretary of Defense for Policy Douglas J. Feith and William Luti, a former Navy officer who worked for Cheney before joining the Pentagon. When the OSP wanted to intimidate analysts into shaping conclusions to fit the already-made war decision, Cheney went to CIA headquarters on unprecedented visits."

THE IDIOT OF IRAN

"There may be no option but the use of force. But before we find ourselves irrevocably on such a track, there is a strong case for trying the engagement alternative first, and in a serious way."
"At the least, Americans must have the debate about Iran that we did not have about Iraq. It needs to center on choices about long-term strategy toward the Middle East. If we do not have this discussion, then we can expect to have yet another mournful postmortem later on."
[Robert E. Hunter, a senior advisor at the Rand Corp., was U.S. ambassador to NATO from 1993 to 1998.]

“Next, we’re going to have the Iranian campaign. We’ve declared war and the bad guys, wherever they are, are the enemy. This is the last hurrah—we’ve got four years, and want to come out of this saying we won the war on terrorism.” [Former high-level intelligence official]

Right now there is a deafening silence about what the United States (i.e. Rumsfeld, Cheney & Rice) plans to do to Iran.
[Note: Since writing this the silence has been broken as more and more strident voices are calling for a military "solution" in Iran]
The annihilation of Iran is on the shelf (or as our leaders like to say "all options are on the table".)
The Republicans would appreciate a new war.
The current war with Iraq is in shambles.
A new war would also remove the microscope from other issues: What did the Bush administration know about 9-11 before it happened and what did the White House not do to prevent it; the Dubai deal; Katrina; domestic spying; the lies that led to the pre-emptive war with Iraq; Impeachment, etc.
The National Security issues and THE WAR ON TERROR could be put back on the front burner for the GOP in the 2006 elections.
The Idiot of Iran will get bombed if he does not relent and renounce his nuclear ambitions.
Let us hope that more diplomacy (or bribes) can persuade the Iranian Idiot to stop his nuclear blackmail.
If not, get ready for more blood and money to irradiate terra firma.

ENCELADUS

Enceladus, tiny giant of fire and ice, may be a helpful holiday inn for future space explorers.
Only 300 miles in diameter, this shiny moon is alive with geysers that spew warm water and ice.
When I heard about this latest wonderful discovery within our solar system, I thought about how our own beautiful planet's paragon of animals is still fighting its perpetual (Bush's Long) war(s).
How sad.
May our species stay alive long enough to enjoy a cup of coffee or a snow cone on Enceladus.

BUSH BOONDOGGLES

The Republicans are seizing this moment.
They want to put a spacious chasm between themselves and President Bush.
The Dubai deal has become a boon from Bush for Republicans and Democrats, but a big boondoggle for the Long War President.
Bush wants Arabs to run America's ports, but American citizens DON'T!
The Republicans want to retain their seats (and their pants).
Bush is (as usual) as resilient as concrete.
The Democrats are also getting in their partisan licks, and throwing the Dubai Port pie into the face of terror (9-11) that Bush has worn and used to scare (Control?) the American people.
It has become overwhelmingly obvious to the American people that the Long War President's regime-cabal is wholly self-serving when it comes to money-making...for friends and cronies.
But (as the Long War President has told us)(and this administration can not have it both ways): You are either for America or with the Terrorists.
The LWP has recently shown that he can side with Terror if it means profits.
India and the U.A.E. are egregious examples.

WANT NUCLEAR BOMBS? NO PROBLEM!

"By international agreement, any country that refuses to sign the NPT is ineligible for nuclear technology assistance. This has been the United States' stance toward India for 30 years. But Bush signed an agreement with India last week that will give India access to top level atomic energy technology. Under the agreement only 14 of India's 22 nuclear reactors will be placed under international supervision. You can guess which ones will be supervised ­ those dedicated to energy production. Those dedicated to nuclear weapons material production are off limits."

"Can The 2005 Elections Slow Bush/Cheney?", 3/06/2006, Gerald S. Rellick/rense.com [Gerald S. Rellick, Ph.D., worked in aerospace industry for 22 years. He now teaches in the California Community College system.]

When George W. Bush needs some Arabs, he makes them work to his advantage.
When George W. Bush needs some Indians, he makes them work to his advantage.
When George W. Bush needs another war, he makes a country work to his advantage.
India can have nuclear weapons, our technical help and blessings! EVEN IF India has not signed the Nuclear Non-Proliferation Treaty. No problem.
Iran CAN NOT HAVE nuclear weapons! Iran will get our bombs and our shock and awe! No problem.
It's like when I am in New York and ordering breakfast.
"You want bacon?
No problem.
"You want hash browns?"
No problem.
No problem.

UPDATE: MORALS & MARBLES

"We have before us in the White House a thief who steals the country's good name and reputation for his private interest and personal use; a liar who seeks to instill in the American people a state of fear; a televangelist who engages the United States in a never-ending crusade against all the world's evil, a wastrel who squanders a vast sum of the nation's wealth on what turns out to be a recruiting drive certain to multiply the host of our enemies. In a word, a criminal—known to be armed and shown to be dangerous. Under the three-strike rule available to the courts in California, judges sentence people to life in jail for having stolen from Wal-Mart a set of golf clubs or a child's tricycle. Who then calls strikes on President Bush, and how many more does he get before being sent down on waivers to one of the Texas Prison Leagues?"
"The Case for Impeachment", Lewis H. Lapham, Harpers Magazine [2/27/06]

"HAS GEORGE BUSH LOST HIS MARBLES?"
Patrick J. Buchanan/2-28-06

Yes he has Pat.
He was losing them well before he became the Long War President.
I lost my marbles when I was around 11 years old.
But these were the cats-eye, steely and agate kind of marbles.
However, George has lost more than his marbles.
He has also lost his morals.

SHARK CONVERSATION

Mo: "Hey, what are they doing to my brain?"

Jo: "I don't know Mo, but they're messing with my brain, too."

Mo: "We've got to have our monthly Shark Association meeting immediately."

Jo: "Yep. It’s an emergency. All of our brains are in jeopardy."

Mo: “The military are making us their guinea pigs.”

Jo: “Yep. They couldn’t make dolphins obey them.”

Mo: “Or the American public. And so we filled the vacuum.”

Jo: “Yep. Our implants might help them find terrorists; but all we want to do is eat.”

Mo: “Right. Well, let’s swim and try to avoid the humans…or we’ll become their fish bait.”

Jo: “You mean their fish slaves!”

Mo: “Right. Uh oh…I see those bubbles again. They’re back. Quick! Out of here!”


IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

UPDATE: IS GEORGE W. BUSH A LIAR, AN IDIOT OR BOTH?

"There was no situational awareness, and that means that we weren't getting good, solid information from people who were on the ground." George W. Bush [2/28/06]

"March 1: Video from The Associated Press shows federal disaster officials warning President Bush before Hurricane Katrina struck that the storm surge could breach New Orleans' levees." [MSNBC News]


“I AM GOING TO LEAD THIS WORLD TO MORE PEACE AND FREEDOM.”

George W. Bush [February 8, 2004]

IS GEORGE W. BUSH A LIAR, AN IDIOT, OR BOTH? VOTE NOW!

CHECK ONLY ONE:

[ ] LIAR

[ ] IDIOT

[ ] BOTH

PARANOIA AND DEMON EYES

German Nazi death camp guards wore the emblem of Skull and Bones on the shoulders of their uniforms.

The dark eyes of Condoleeza Rice and Michael Chertoff scare me.
The Mushroom Cloud Lady is now our Secretary of State.
The Patriot Act co-author is now our Secretary of Homeland Security (HSS).
We remember what little veracity there was in Ms. Rice’s comment about Mushroom Clouds forming in Iraq.
We remember how Mr. Chertoff handled Hurricane Katrina.
Who would dare pull out of the thin and unsubstantiated air an adjective such as EVIL for these ominous orbs?
But who picked these two people with their grim and gloomy peepers?
Why, of course.
It was a Skull and Bones bonesman named George W. Bush.
Do you see what I can see?

VOLTAIRE'S FAMOUS BUT

Does our 8 Trillion Dollar National Debt make our Lenders feel secure?

Any parallels between WWII Europe (Germany: Where wheelbarrows were needed to transport the inflated currency) & the United States?
Maybe not.
But…

Unnecessary Pre-Emptive Wars don’t work very well.
But look at Iraq.
(Of course, I mean this as irony.)

On Iran:
Would it be safer to let the Iranian nutcase get his bombs than bomb him?
Maybe.
But…

MORALS & MARBLES

"HAS GEORGE BUSH LOST HIS MARBLES?"
Patrick J. Buchanan/2-28-06

Yes he has Pat.
He was losing them well before he became the Long War President.
I lost my marbles when I was around 11 years old.
But these were the cats-eye, steely and agate kind of marbles.
However, George has lost more than his marbles.
He has also lost his morals.

IN PLATO'S CAVE

"The kernel here (in Iraq) is the acknowledgment of defeat." William F. Buckley, 2-24-2006

No more cover-ups or in-denial rhetoric please!
In Baghdad it is the beginning of the end, and not the end of the beginning.
The Long War President resides in Plato's Cave, and he does not know the difference between shadows and reality.
The Long War President believes the following shadows are reality:
"We are winning the peace in Iraq even though we are losing.'
"It is getting worse in Iraq but it is getting better."
"There won't be a civil war in Iraq, but the Sunnis and Shiites are blowing up each other and their mosques.”
“Trust me. I am cute. I am your Long War President who will not stop fighting in Iraq until freedom and democracy are spread and we have achieved total victory!”
“You can’t impeach me. The Congress and the Supreme Court are in my pockets!”

MY BRAIN KNOWS BEST

UAE citizen Marwan Al-Shehhi slammed Flight 175 into the World Trade Center. Eleven hijackers came through UAE, and half their money. A.Q. Khan shipped nuclear parts through UAE to North Korea and Iran.

This is The Brain of Bush Karl Rove.
Forgive the Long War President for not backing down from the Dubai Port deal.
He's been out of the loop in the past few days, weaning Americans off of their oil addiction.
Air Force One now needs a major tune-up.
As for me, The Brain of Bush, I have also been succoring Dick Cheney's wounds from his recent alcoholic shooting incident.
But I do have a Big Brain, so I can accommodate the Vice President and the President of the United States.
But back to the Dubai Port deal.
My Brain has advised the Long War President that it will ask our U.A.E. business friends to give us more time to sell this juicy deal to the Congress and the American people.
My Brain knows Best.
My Brain knows that we do not want our Arab friends to think that we don't trust or like them.
As long as Big Money is involved and coming our way, we like and trust anyone. Arabs, the Chinese, the French...well, maybe not the Frogs.
Just as the Long War President isn't that concerned about Osama bin Laden anymore, he is equally unconcerned about the U.A.E. where two of its citizens were 9/11 terrorists.
The Long War President knows that this rich and clean empire has allowed its banks to handle money for Al-Qaeda. No big deal.
As Donald Rumsfeld (who doesn't rely on my Big Brain) has told us: "Stuff happens... and free people are free to make mistakes and commit crimes and do bad things."

GIVE ME ANOTHER BEER!

VP: "Alright fellows, I'm ready for another beer. This heart-thinning medicine gives me quite a buzz."
Aide: "Mr. Vice President, are you sure you should continue drinking? Are you able to walk?"
VP: "Yeah, yeah. I can walk. I can talk. I can shoot."
VP: "Hey, give me two beers instead of one so I don't have to stop in the middle of my shooting."
VP: "Hey, look! There's a big quail heading toward me right now!"
("Bang! Bang! Bang!)
VP: "I got him!! I got him!!"
Aide: "Sir, you just shot Harry!"
VP: "Well, at least I didn't miss."
Aide: "Quick. Get him to a doctor."
VP: "I'm going to take a shower and sober up."