GOOD NEWS-BAD NEWS

The good news: There is a 10th planet.
The bad news: Humans have found it.
(Mars and the Moon have already been invaded.)

The good news: There is ice-water on Mars.
The bad news: It will probably melt before NASA ever uses any of it.

The good news: George W. Bush's physical shows that he is in perfect health.
The bad news: He is president of the United States.

The good news: Columnist Robert Novak broke his silence on his disclosure that Valerie Plame was a CIA operative.
The bad news: He is still a creep.

The good news: I don’t have any more GOOD NEWS-BAD NEWS.
The bad news: There will be more GOOD NEWS-BAD NEWS another day.