MY WAR WAS NOT FOR OIL!

George W. Bush:
"Let me straighten you fellows out.
My shock and awe destruction of Iraq had nothing to do with getting reconstruction contracts to any of my friends or Dick's.
We wanted to rid Iraq of their Weapons of Mass Destruction..."

Aide:
"Uh...Mr. President. That won't work.
The public found out that we were fabricating and misleading them on the WMDs."

George W. Bush:
"Sure...that's right.
There wasn't none of those WMDs.
We bombed Iraq because of those Taliban and Al-Queda monsters."

Aide:
"Uh...Sir. That won't hold water either.
The Taliban and Al-Queda were in Afghanistan."

George W. Bush
"Sure. I knew that.
So we bombed Iraq to help Iraq get some democracy and freedom fries.
O.K. What's up?
Are we evacuating?
Are we bombing Iran yet?"

Aide:
"No sir.
Marine 1 (presidential helicopter) is here. You're due to start your vacation at Crawford."

George W. Bush
"Yeah.
Have to go find me armadillos, clean some brush and chop the wood."

Aide:
"Yes sir."

George W. Bush
"Fine.
Bring 'em on.
I'm ready to roll.
Let's go smoke 'em out.
Dead or alive.
Push those gas prices up.
Bless Haliburton and Carlyle!"