READING BETWEEN THE BUCKS

March 14, 2008

President Bush Visits the Economic Club of New York
New York Hilton
New York, New York

[NOTE: THIS IS IN VERY ABRIDGED FORM]

THE PRESIDENT:

Thanks for giving me a chance to speak to the Economic Club of New York.

We inherited a recession.

[AND YOU WILL INHERIT MY 3,000,000,000,000 WAR]

And then there was the attacks of September the 11th, 2001…

[I’M STILL HAVING TROUBLE USING MY TO BE VERBS; AND YOU PROBABLY DIDN’T REALIZE THAT A MONTH LIKE SEPTEMBER CAN ATTACK]

And then we had corporate scandals. And I made the difficult decisions to confront the terrorists and extremists in two major fronts, Afghanistan and Iraq.

[THE OPERATIVE WORD IS FRONT FOR ALL OF YOU CONSPIRACY THEORISTS]

And then we had devastating natural disasters

[THAT SOME SAY I MAY HAVE HELPED ENGENDER SINCE I EVISCERATED

MOST OF THE ENVIRONMENTAL SAFEGUARDS THAT WERE IN PLACE BEFORE MY ADMINISTRATION]

A lot of folks are waiting to see what Congress intends to do. One thing that's certain that Congress will do is waste some of your money.

[LIKE I HAVE IN IRAQ. I GUESS LIFE DOES IMITATE ART]

Thank you for your time.

(Applause.)

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!