READING BETWEEN THE LINES

Interview with President Bush

5/13/08

THE PRESIDENT:

Michael, welcome.

Question:

Thank you for having us into this amazing place.

THE PRESIDENT:

Glad you're here.

[And I’m glad I’m here]

Question:

Congratulations, father of the bride.

THE PRESIDENT:

I am the father of the bride [And of War and Destruction], and was real pleased with the way the wedding went. It was an amazing experience, Mike, to see a little girl I dearly love be so happy. It was — I think the wedding went exactly the way she hoped it would go.

[Dick Cheney didn’t shoot anybody, and the barbecued armadillo was just terrific]

Question:

Mr. President, the one thing we don't see in here is a computer, and we know that you went cold turkey off email for security reasons. What are you looking forward to when you finally get your computer back?

THE PRESIDENT: Emailing to my buddies.

[And going to my XXX places]

Question:

Mr. President, we know you're a man of intense faith. And I wonder, what was a moment in this room over the past eight years when you needed that most?

THE PRESIDENT:

Michael, I'd say daily. I mean, part of the faith walk is to understand your weaknesses and is to constantly try to embetter yourself [and butter yourself] and get closer to the Lord [not of the Flies]. And that's a daily occurrence. Obviously there's been some tough moments in here.

[And inside here---pointing to the head---and when Barney peed and pooped on the Oval Office carpet]

When you know that somebody lost their loved one as a result of a [bad] decision that I made, that's a tough moment. If you're a faithful person you try to empathize with the suffering that that person is going through [Because of my deceitful war].

On the other hand, there is a knowledge that the good Lord can comfort during these moments of grief. And that's what I ask for in my prayer.

[My prayers for forgiveness from the good Lord will have to wait; but the good Lord is a patient guy]

Question:

Consequential. That’s what you want---

PRESIDENT:

Consequential — if that's how it turns out to be, that's a good word, because I didn't want to come to Washington, D.C. and just hold the office for the sake of holding it.

[Or stealing it]

I wanted to come to Washington, D.C. and help be a transformative President. And I think history, when they look back

[In anger and horror]

will say this is a fellow who knew how to make decisions, and made some

tough ones, stood

by them, wasn't driven by the latest opinion poll, but was driven by some core principles from which he would not deviate.

[And was a devious fellow whose deviant and megalomaniacal

decisions drove core principles into the dirt and sent a nation to its damnation]

Question:

Mr. President, for the record, is global warming real?

THE PRESIDENT:

Yes, it is real, sure is.

[The sun warms the globe real good every day]

Having said that, the solutions have got to be measured and realistic -- you can't have a solution to global warming unless China and India are part of any international pact.

[It’s like in baseball:

Take your bats and balls home if you don’t want to play my game and by my rules]

If the major emitters of greenhouse gases are not a part of a solution, then those who are part of a solution are acting in a way that's simply not going to -- it will affect their own economies, but it won't affect the overall global warming issue.

[What the hell did I just say?]

Question:

Mr. President, turning to the biggest issue of all, Iraq. I wonder if you -- various people and various candidates talk about pulling out next year. If we were to pull out of Iraq next year, what's the worst that could happen, what's the doomsday scenario?

THE PRESIDENT: Doomsday scenario of course is [and was set by me when I invaded and bombed Iraq]

that extremists throughout the Middle East would be [and have already been]

emboldened [by my invasion and occupation]

which would [and will]

eventually lead to another attack on the United States.

The biggest issue we face is -- it's bigger than Iraq -- it's this ideological struggle against cold-blooded killers who will kill people to achieve their political objectives.

[Not just economic and strategic geo-petroleum objectives like mine]

Iraq just happens to be a part of this global war.

[Just happens to be a part BECAUSE I HAPPENED TO PRE-EMPTIVELY BOMB THE HELL OUT OF THE CRADLE OF CIVILIZATION]

Iraq is the place where al Qaeda and other extremists have made their stand.

[Not a lemonade stand]

They'll be defeated through military action,

[After all, I am the war president…and this last sentence is in support for all

of our fine DEFENSE INDUSTRIES that are profiting from building all of the fine munitions that will continue to FUEL MY GODLESS WAR WITHOUT END!]

but they'll also be defeated as this young democracy takes hold.

[Take hold of what is another question]

United States pulling out of Iraq or pulling out of the Middle East or not maintaining a forward presence would send all kinds of signals throughout the Middle East.

[One signal would be that the United States is for Peace]

Question:

Mr. President,

Do you feel that you were misled on Iraq?

THE PRESIDENT:

I feel like -- I felt like there were weapons of mass destruction.

[Like the feelings in that song called Feelings, I had feelings…and feelings can be strong…but should any nation go to war based on feelings?]

You know, "mislead" is a strong word,

[But it is the right word to describe what I did to the American people and the world]

it almost connotes some kind of intentional -- I don't think so, I think there was a -- not only our intelligence community,

[More darn non-sequiturs and sentence fragments!]

but intelligence communities all across the world shared the same assessment.

[The fixed assessment that I gave them!]

Question:

Thank you, sir.

THE PRESIDENT:

It's been a pleasure.

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!