RIGHT WINGERS LEFT WINGERS AND ZINGERS

 

 

Moderator:

Gentlemen, welcome to the first of our three Presidential debates.

  The format tonight is meant to stop lengthy pauses and long refrains by having each of you give only one sentence.

Then, at the end of tonight’s debate, each of you can wax poetic and political at your heart’s content for fifteen minutes.

A red light will go on when your time has expired, and also a blaring siren will stay on until you shut up.

Mr. Obama, you have won the coin toss, and so you will go first. 

Let us begin.

 

Barack Obama:

Thank you. There is no glory in outstripping donkeys.

 

Mitt Romney:

Thank you. Words are cheap. The biggest thing you can say is elephant.

 

Barack Obama:

When eating an elephant take one bite at a time.

 

Mitt Romney:

I have a memory like an elephant. In fact, elephants often consult me.

 

Barack Obama:

Do you think yourself wise? Then there's a donkey inside your waistcoat.

        

Mitt Romney:

The elephant has a thick skin, a head full of ivory, and as everyone who has seen a circus parade knows, proceeds best by grasping the tail of its predecessor.

 

Barack Obama:

I'm afraid we felt the wrong end of the elephant first.

 

Mitt Romney:

"Hail, holy Ass!" the choiring angels sing.

Barack Obama:

He that can see a louse as far away as China is unconscious of an elephant on his nose.

Mitt Romney:

"Smelling isn't everything", said the elephant.

Moderator:

Gentlemen, it’s now time for a short break.  Thank you.

 

 

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!