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Officials: Las Cruces Check 'N Go robbed by man with weed whacker
Posted: 07/02/2013 12:02:07 AM MDT
I
wanted to write something about the above news story before local comics on the morning
radio shows jumped on the bandwagon, but I didn’t.
Still,
the inclination was there to react to this funny bit of news, and so I put *shoulder
to the wheel and fingers to the keyboard, and came up with the following.
THIEF:
This
is a hold-up.
Correction:
I’m
holding up my weed whacker and this is a robbery.
TELLER:
Yes
sir.
One
moment while I get the manager.
THIEF:
Skip
the manager.
Just
give me all of your cash…
TELLER:
Or
what?
You’ll
start whacking me with your weed whacker?
THIEF:
Don’t
get smart.
But,
yeah, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
So
hand over the money.
(Just
as she’s handing over the money, the thief drops his weed whacker. It suddenly starts, and goes haywire,
spinning wildly on the floor.)
THIEF:
Just a second while I grab my whacker.
(But
two policemen suddenly grab the thief, and a third policeman grabs the weed
whacker and turns it off.)
TELLER:
Oh, thank you officers!
I
thought I was going to get whacked!
POLICEMAN:
Mam,
before we’d let that happen, we would’ve whacked off this thief’s members!
(Everyone
starts laughing except the thief.)
IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE
RESOURCES!
*Shoulder to the wheel is an old saying
from when pioneers used various carts and wheel vehicles to work. Sometimes
they got stuck. - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/what-are-the-origins-of-the-phrase-'to-put-one's-shoulder-to-the-wheel
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