Officials: Las Cruces Check 'N Go robbed by man with weed whacker
Posted: 07/02/2013 12:02:07 AM MDT
I wanted to write something about the above news story before local comics on the morning radio shows jumped on the bandwagon, but I didn’t.
Still, the inclination was there to react to this funny bit of news, and so I put *shoulder to the wheel and fingers to the keyboard, and came up with the following.
This is a hold-up.
I’m holding up my weed whacker and this is a robbery.
One moment while I get the manager.
Skip the manager.
Just give me all of your cash…
You’ll start whacking me with your weed whacker?
Don’t get smart.
But, yeah, that’s exactly what I’ll do.
So hand over the money.
(Just as she’s handing over the money, the thief drops his weed whacker. It suddenly starts, and goes haywire, spinning wildly on the floor.)
Just a second while I grab my whacker.
(But two policemen suddenly grab the thief, and a third policeman grabs the weed whacker and turns it off.)
Oh, thank you officers!
I thought I was going to get whacked!
Mam, before we’d let that happen, we would’ve whacked off this thief’s members!
(Everyone starts laughing except the thief.)
IT’S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!
*Shoulder to the wheel is an old saying from when pioneers used various carts and wheel vehicles to work. Sometimes they got stuck. - See more at: http://www.chacha.com/question/what-are-the-origins-of-the-phrase-'to-put-one's-shoulder-to-the-wheel