"Yes, we are with Homeland Security and we are going to review your library records.
As an American, you will cooperate with us.
The Patriot Act is now a mighty and holy law.
Nobody is immune to its powers.
Let's see.
Here we have a 12 year-old patron who is reading about Osama bin Laden. She is now under suspicion for supporting terrorism.
Ah ha! Here is a seven-year old reading about camels. She definitely is on our terrorism list!
We will also need a printout of all of your patrons and the books that they have read since 9-11.
If you resist, and say no, we will have to arrest you, and close your library.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Protect the Homeland!"
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