NEW AIRPORT SECURITY

O.K. Your dissecting kit can go on board.
You may also bring your nail clippers and small scissors.
No, you may not bring those box cutters! That's what the 9-11 hijackers used.
The ax and flamethrower are O.K. But again, get rid of those boxcutters.
Please take off your shoes and remove your socks.
On the other hand, leave the socks on, and buy some foot powder ASAP.
Next.
O.K. the jackhammer can come on board.
No, no...leave the boxcutters.
Next...