THE UNPATRIOTIC ACT

"Yes, we are with Homeland Security and we are going to review your library records.

As an American, you will cooperate with us.

The Patriot Act is now a mighty and holy law.

Nobody is immune to its powers.

Let's see.

Here we have a 12 year-old patron who is reading about Osama bin Laden. She is now under suspicion for supporting terrorism.

Ah ha! Here is a seven-year old reading about camels. She definitely is on our terrorism list!

We will also need a printout of all of your patrons and the books that they have read since 9-11.

If you resist, and say no, we will have to arrest you, and close your library.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Protect the Homeland! VICTORY!"