Q & A

How much does a candidate’s physical appearance matter to you?

As long as they have just one head and two eyes, the physical appearance is not the most important thing to me.
It’s what’s inside that counts.
But I will vote for the candidate whose body and mind are better than the other candidate’s.

What will the country’s sour mood mean for the election?

Voters will be buying more honey and molasses.

How can you tell if you’re becoming addicted to the Internet?

I haven’t left my house in years.

Everything I eat is delivered.
I don’t shave, bathe, or brush my teeth.
I never read books.
And I lie all the time.

Why isn’t Barack Obama doing better in the polls?

There are still 100 days of polling and politicking left.

Give the ticks and fleas time for the dogs to scratch.

Each candidate's tail...I mean each candidate’s poll numbers will wag up and down during the course of campaigning.

Slips and slides happen along the way.

I won't take polls seriously until the dogs have reached the finish line.

When it comes to Barack Obama, where are the Clintons?

After Hillary Clinton said that Barack Obama should be ashamed of himself, and Bill Clinton said that Obama was living on fantasy island, I believe that both Bill and Hill think privately, at least, that Senator Obama can go fly his own kite.

The Clintons don’t want to associate with the winner.

They want to be the winners.

Of course, if Bill’s wife is chosen to be Obama’s VP, Bill would be back in the White House (Not in the kitchen baking cookies), and Hillary would be waiting for her chance to become president.

When it comes to raising taxes, is John McCain flip-flopping?

Yep, he's flipped and flopped right into the pan of the very rich.

Every candidate will flip and flop if the flipping and flopping help fan the fires of their fortunes.

The flips and flops can discombobulate voters, but when it’s a big fish such as taxes, voters know which bait is being used, and aren’t so easily hooked.

Is going negative against Barack Obama a winning strategy for John McCain?

It’s a losing strategy.

To be so negative at one end of the magnet only increases the positive end of Obama’s campaign.

Voters want the important ideas and issues discussed, not whether Obama is popular or unpatriotic.

McCain is making himself look more and more ridiculous, more and more unworthy to be the most powerful leader on this planet.

In light of its many accomplishments, does Congress deserve a month-long vacation?

No.

Send them out into the fields and orchards, and get them to pick the fruit and vegetables.

Do some real work.

On the other hand…

Stay home---

Don’t come back!

The country can use your salaries to pay for building highways, bridges, and schools.

What does it mean for President Bush when a federal judge rules his people are not immune from congressional subpoenas?

It doesn’t mean cockle-doodle-do.

President Bush lied and got away with it.

President Bush broke laws and got away with it.

President Bush sent Americans over to Iraq to die based on his lies and he’s still getting away with it.

President Bush is laughing at us now, and he’ll still be laughing when he escapes, leaving us with trillions of dollars in debts.

President Bush will continue to laugh at us after he tortures his armadillos and barbecues them down at the Crawford ranch.

All of the other culprits in this administration will be long gone anyway.

The subpoenas are really quite meaningless at this point in time.

The Courts, the Congress, and the American people have let this man get away with murderous lies.

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!