READING BETWEEN THE GAS LINES

April 29, 2008

Press Conference by the President
Rose Garden

[In abbreviated form]

THE PRESIDENT:

Thank you. Good morning. This is a tough time for our economy. Across our country many Americans are understandably anxious about issues affecting their pocketbook, from gas and food prices to mortgage and tuition bills.

[To taxes that are without representation]

They're looking to their elected leaders in Congress for action.

[And for money…so you’ve been mailed a check this month]

Unfortunately, on many of these issues all they're getting is delay.

[Not Tom Delay…he’s out of the picture]

Americans are concerned about energy prices, and I can understand why. I think the last time I visited with you it was like -- I said it was like a tax increase on the working people.

[And an increase in profits for all of my buddies in the oil business]

The past 18 months, gas prices have gone up by $1.40 per gallon. Electricity prices for small business and families are rising, as well.

[Get used to it. Prices won’t go down any time soon while I’m president]

Americans are concerned about making their mortgage payments and keeping their homes, and I don't blame them.

[Just whine and blame it on my war in Iraq]

Q:

Were you premature in saying that the U.S. economy is not in a recession, when food and energy prices are soaring so high?

THE PRESIDENT:

I mean, you know, the words on how to define the economy don't reflect the anxiety the American people feel. The average person doesn't really care what we call it; the average person wants to know whether or not we know that they're paying higher gasoline prices and that they're worried about staying in their homes. And I do understand that.

[Speechwriters, this sounds awkward. This might be better:

The average person really wants to know what we are going to do about the economy. And people are not worried about staying in their homes; they’re worried about having to stay out of them. But I’ll soon be leaving my house here in Washington, and go to Crawford and wait for my pension checks]

These are tough times. People – economists

[They’re people, too]

can argue over the terminology. And these are difficult times.

[And the worst of times]

And the American people know it, and they want to know whether or not Congress knows it.

[And whether I know it, and whether I know that they know it]

I think an important signal to send on energy, just like I said, is to say, okay, we're going to go find oil here at home.

[Just like we were going to find WMDs in Iraq]

We're transitioning [If that’s the correct verb] to a new era, by the way -- a new era where we're going to have batteries in our cars [Aren’t there batteries in cars now?] that will power -- enable people to drive 40 miles on electricity.

[Only 40 miles?]

There's going to be more ethanol on the market [But less and less food on the table], more alternative fuels

[That have been promised for decades].

It would be -- our driving habits will change.

[Maybe we’ll start driving on the left side instead of the right side]

But in the meantime, we need to be sending a signal to the world markets that we intend to explore here in America.

[You know, just like Columbus]

Q:

A couple weeks ago you said that in Iraq, in 2006, you said we were winning and the strategy was working to keep up troop morale.

THE PRESIDENT:

Yes.

Q: How can we believe that you're not doing the same thing here?

THE PRESIDENT:

You tried to ask me that question before. It's a repeat. Look, I said --

Q: No, I'm talking --

THE PRESIDENT: Can I finish, please?

[I’m the Decider. Why am I asking anyone’s permission to do anything?]

The question you asked me before at the exclusive I gave you on the ranch was: You said that we were winning in the past. I also said that there was tough fighting. Make sure you put the comments in place.

So what I'm going to tell you now is, we're making progress in Afghanistan, but there's tough fighting. I'm under no illusions that this isn't tough.

[Just under self-delusions]

I know full well we're dealing with a determined enemy. I believe it's in our interest that we defeat that enemy. And so, yes, we're making progress. But it's also a tough battle.

Is it in our interest to confront these people now, whether it be in Afghanistan, or Iraq, or Europe, or anywhere else? And the answer is, absolutely, it's in our interest. And the notion that somehow we can let these people just kind of have their way or, you know, let's don't stir them up [Like I did when I unnecessarily and pre-emptively bombed Iraq], is naive or disingenuous, and it's not in our nation's interests. We are in a global struggle against thugs and killers. And the United States of America has got to continue to take the lead.

[Take the lead…as thugs and killers?]

And so in Afghanistan, yes, we're making progress. Does that mean that it's over? No, it doesn't mean it's over.

[Perpetual war is never over]

We're in a long struggle, as I've told you many a time, against these jihadists. These aren't isolated, law-enforcement moments. We're dealing with a group of ideologues who use asymmetrical warfare -- that means killing innocent people---[I got a C- in geometry, but this is what they wrote for me to say]--- to try to achieve their objectives. And one objective is to drive us out of Afghanistan, Iraq, the Middle East, or anywhere else where we try to confront them.

[Including the United States]

And so, yes, I mean, look -- is it tough? Yes, it's tough. Is it difficult? Absolutely.

[Am I repeating myself? Absolutely.]

Thank you all for your interest.

Enjoyed it.

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

Q & A

How much has Rev. Wright hurt Obama's campaign?

Any of us with an adequate amount of grey matter can see how Reverend Wright is now ranting and grand-standing on his own soapbox (pulpit).
Obama is able to express his ideas without the help or attention of a Mr. Wright (wrong).
Unless more dirty laundry comes down the shoot, Obama will not be affected that much by the Reverend's rants.

Will the Stimulus checks stimulate the economy?


Simulation?
Try some agitation.
I suppose the money will help for about 33 minutes.
Long enough to put gas in our tanks five times.

How can Obama recapture his momentum?


Obama should confront Hillary Clinton at every opportunity.
This means that he should debate her wherever, whenever, and however.
If he sticks his head in the dirt and avoids any more debates with Clinton, then I, as one voter, will begin leaning toward other candidates.
Especially any debate that is more free-wheeling and not managed by the media.

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

THWARTING TERRORISM

REASONABLE OBSERVER: Are you ready to begin your questions?

INQUISITOR: Yes.

REASONABLE OBSERVER: O.K. Remember, you’re not here to torture, only to produce a little pain if things go South.

INQUISITOR: South, sir?

REASONABLE OBSERVER: Yeah, like if this terrorist doesn’t cooperate with you.

INQUISITOR: I see.

REASONABLE OBSERVER: Begin.

INQUISITOR: Mr. Terrorist, do you know of any plans for a terror attack on the United States?

ILLEGAL COMBATANT: No.

INQUISITOR: Let me repeat the question: Do you know of any plans for a terror attack on the United States?

ILLEGAL COMBATANT: No.

INQUISITOR: [To an aide]: Bring me my implements of inquisition and persuasion.

REASONABLE OBSERVER: What are you doing?

INQUISITOR: This illegal combatant is going South, and I need to change his direction.

REASONABLE OBSERVER: Right.

INQUISITOR: O.K. Mr. Terrorist, please give me the correct answer, or I will need to use these [Items include: water, a board, scary Halloween costumes, photos of humiliation, rope].

ILLEGAL COMBATANT: I tell you, I don’t know the answer.

INQUISITOR: Look at these photos. This is your mother!

ILLEGAL COMBATANT: No, no. Please, don’t make me see these things.

REASONABLE OBSERVER: He’s still going South on us. Better start the water treatment. Make sure he brushes his teeth first.

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

TORTURE CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT AND MURDER

As one whose husband and mother-in-law have died the victims of murder assassination, I stand firmly and unequivocally opposed to the death penalty for those convicted of capital offenses. An evil deed is not redeemed by an evil deed of retaliation. Justice is never advanced in the taking of a human life. Morality is never upheld by a legalized murder.
Corretta Scott King

After all, every murderer when he kills runs the risk of the most dreadful of deaths, whereas those who kill him risk nothing except promotion.

Albert Camus

IF the

Bush WAR Regime

DID TORTURE...

IF the

Bush WAR Regime

DID MURDER...

IF the

Bush WAR Regime

DID COMMIT

CRUEL AND UNUSUAL PUNISHMENT….

Then

Should the

Bush WAR Regime

BE EXECUTED?

HOW?

By

FIRING SQUAD?

By

HANGING?

By

ELECTRIC CHAIR?

By

CHEMICAL INJECTION?

Call or write your Senators and Representatives today.

Let them know if any executions should take place, and what forms they should be…

Before it’s too late!

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!

Q & A

How effective are personal attacks by Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama on each other?

The real question is what effects these negative attacks have on the voters.
Since Bush has nearly destroyed our economy, our international reputation, our military preparedness, and our Constitution, one would hope that Obama and Clinton would transcend attacks on one another and instead ATTACK the above issues.
Otherwise, they may be handing the presidency to McCain.

When it comes to money, how can John McCain catch up with the Democrats?

This is an easy question to answer.
McCain's wife needs to give him all that he needs to compete with Clinton and Obama.

McCain can pay her back later, after he receives millions for his Presidential memoirs .

Why in the years following 9/11 has the government refused to secure our nation’s borders?

My first visceral answer is that George W….The Deceiving and Deciding-Bush doesn't truly love this nation, and doesn't have a clue about what to do or what's going on.
Plus, all of the people who work within (and out) of his lying and pathetic regime (i.e. quasi-dictatorship) just do what their meister does or wants them to do.
If not, they get booted.
These unpatriotic and despicable morons, liars and thieves parade their religion and flag buttons, while destroying our country and world.
Oh, I think I'm off-topic.

The Virtual Fence should have been a done deal seven years ago.

The cameras and radar should have already been there THE DAY AFTER 9/11.

Finally, who were the terrorists, really, who carried out 9/11?

Are the presidential candidates going to have to spend more time talking about Iraq?

Yes.
They'll have to talk about Iraq, but they'll also have to do more than just talk about Iraq.
That's the Bush War Syndrome:
TALK ABOUT IT
TALK ABOUT IT
TALK ABOUT IT…
SURGE
SURGE
SURGE…
Until
Iran has made itself (or is fashioned into) a sufficiently evil enemy so that Cheney and Bush can justify and begin their new war, but this time using nukes to remove Iran from Bush's evil axis.
In the meantime, the people of this nation need to file a class action suit against George W. Bush and Richard Bruce DICK Cheney, and make them pay for their unnecessary war, and after they are broke and walking around in rags, impeach and imprison their lying hides

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

A POST-PAPAL VISIT AND CONVERSATION WITH GEORGE W. BUSH

“Where does it say in the Constitution that executions have to be painless?”

Antonin Scalia

Not since WW II, when the Reich’s bishops swore personal oaths of allegiance to Hitler (as did the German Supreme Court and army generals) have the papacy and bishops acted in such a fawning, un-Christ-like way.

Ray McGovern

GWB: Well, Pope…May I call you Ben?

Pope Benedict XVI: Sure George.

GWB: I want to thank you for your visit…and for not mentioning my Wars in Iraq and Afghanistan…Torture…or Executions.

By the way, you know…I did a lot of executing in Texas before I became Decider of the Homeland.

Pope Benedict XVI: Yes, I know that, George. It’s part of your legacy, and I’m proud of you. And as far as your wars…I don’t wish Islam to win. The Church supports your Long Wars of Pre-Emptive Shock and Awe against these IslamoFascists.

GWB: Thanks for your knowledge and your understanding, Ben.

Pope Benedict XVI: It’s my Papal Pleasure.

GWB: You guys can have pleasure?

Pope Benedict XVI: We can only dream about it, George. We must wait for Heaven.

GWB: Or for some cute altar boys…Oops…Sorry…I didn’t mean to say that.

Pope Benedict XVI: I forgive you. Just say a million Hail Mary’s, or you won’t see me in Heaven.

GWB: Right. Well, I bet those Armadillos are almost ready. Laura, are the ‘Dillos’ barbecued yet?

LB: Almost, honey. Ask the Pope if he will come over and bless them.

GWB: Ready to do some blessin’, Ben?

Pope Benedict XVI: Ja doch!



I T'S THE OIL STUPID!

NO OBLITERATION

[THE WHITE HOUSE: IT IS 3 A.M. AND THE PHONE IS RINGING.
BILL AND HILLARY CLINTON ARE ASLEEP.]

BC: Honey, the phone’s ringing.

HC: What time is it?

BC: Oh no…it’s 3: A.M.

HC: Probably just the wrong number.

BC: I don’t think so, honey, the red light’s blinking.

HC: O.K. I’ll answer it.

[Bill hands her the phone]

HC: Yes?

Secretary of Defense: Mrs. President, I need to know when we’ll begin the Obliteration.

HC: That was only my campaign tactic to become president. We’re not going to obliterate anyone.

I’m going back to sleep.

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

*********************

To meet that potential nuclear weapons threat from Iran requires a serious, non-rhetorical, multinational response that makes clear that no nation has the right to obliterate the population of another, and that nations, even our own, that claim that right should be challenged as unacceptably barbaric. Instead, Clinton played into the thoughts of fanatics throughout the world who believe that might makes right and who take the United States--which spends more on its military than the rest of the world combined (including many billions on new sophisticated and "usable" nuclear weapons)--as both their enemy and an example to emulate.

What better argument do the ayatollahs need to justify their obtaining a nuclear "deterrent" than that the possible leader of the first nation to develop nuclear weapons, and the only one to ever use them to kill people, now threatens the people of Iran with obliteration?

From The Intemperate Candidate

By Robert Scheer

April 23, 2008
http://www.thenation.com/doc/20080505/truthdig

TO BEE OR NOT TO BEE HAPPY ON THIS EARTH DAY

Pointed threats, they bluff with scorn
Suicide remarks are torn
From the fool’s gold mouthpiece
The hollow horn plays wasted words
Proved to warn
That he not busy being born
Is busy dying.

Bob Dylan

"It's Alright, Ma (I'm Only Bleeding)"

Don’t forget to smell the roses.

That is…

If there are any roses left to smell.

Bees are having trouble finding the roses these days.

Pollution from our vehicles is decreasing the scent of

Flowers.

Bees are having more difficulty “smelling” and finding the

Flowers.

There is less and less pollination.

Less pollination means less food to eat

And

Fewer flowers to smell.

Here.

On earth.

Are you and I.

Standing at a Crossroads.

Standing at a Great Divide.

One direction leads to

Death;

The other direction leads to

Life.

Are we going to get busier at being born?

I turn off the lights when I leave the room.

I recycle.

I don’t pray enough.

Are things as bad they seem to be?

How much worse can things get?

We cannot hope for change anymore.

We must change.

So that there are more days to celebrate the Earth…

On this

Earth

Day…

And thousands more to come!

IT’S THE OIL STUPID!

******************************************

Nature

Why flowers have lost their scent

Pollution is stifling the fragrance of plants and preventing bees from pollinating them – endangering one of the most essential cycles of nature, writes Environment Editor Geoffrey Lean.

Sunday

20 April 2008

Pollution is dulling the scent of flowers and impeding some of the most basic processes of nature, disrupting insect life and imperiling food supplies, a new study suggests.

The potentially hugely significant research – funded by the blue-chip US National Science Foundation – has found that gases mainly formed from the emissions of car exhausts prevent flowers from attracting bees and other insects in order to pollinate them. And the scientists who have conducted the study fear that insects' ability to repel enemies and attract mates may also be impeded.

The researchers – at the University of Virginia – say that pollution is dramatically cutting the distance travelled by the scent of flowers. Professor Jose Fuentes, who led the study, said:

"Scent molecules produced by flowers in a less polluted environment could travel for roughly 1,000 to 1,200 metres. But today they may travel only 200 to 300 metres. This makes it increasingly difficult for bees and other insects to locate the flowers."

The researchers – who worked on the scent given off by snapdragons – found that the molecules are volatile, and quickly bond with pollutants such as ozone and nitrate radicals, mainly formed from vehicle emissions. This chemically alters the molecules so that they no longer smell like flowers. A vicious cycle is therefore set up where insects struggle to get enough food and the plants do not get pollinated enough to proliferate.

Already bees – which pollinate most of the world's crops – are in unprecedented decline in Britain and across much of the globe. At least a quarter of America's 2.5 million honey bee colonies have been mysteriously wiped out by colony collapse disorder (CCD), where hives are found suddenly deserted.

The crisis has now spread to Europe. Politicians insist that CCD has not yet been found in Britain, but the insects have been declining here too, and the agriculture minister Lord Rooker has warned that "the honey bee population could be wiped out in 10 years".

The researchers do not believe that they have found the cause of CCD, but say that pollution is making life more difficult for bees and other insects in many ways.

http://www.independent.co.uk/environment/nature/why-flowers-have-lost-their-scent-812168.html

*************************

P.S. I went back and found this post (from April 25, 2007) where I wrote about this same topic:

TO BE A BEE OR NOT TO BE

"If the bee disappeared off the surface of the globe then man would only have four years of life left. No more bees, no more pollination, no more plants, no more animals, no more man."
Albert Einstein


All this stupid fighting on our planet might come to an end sooner than we expect.
Our planet's bees have been dropping like flies.
First it was the frogs.
Now it's the bees.
The honey-makers also help pollinate the plants that we eat---that chickens eat---that cows eat...
Well, almost all the creatures on our beautiful planet!
What is killing the bees?
Global Warming?
Electromagnetic radiation?
Rush Limbaugh?
Scientists are trying to find out.
Let's hope that Einstein was wrong.

By Mad Plato

***********

TORONTO (CP) - A mysterious malady that is causing honeybees to disappear en masse from their hives in parts of North America and Europe may be linked to radiation from cellphones and other high-tech communications devices, a study by German researchers suggests.
While the theory has created a lot of buzz in the beekeeping world, apiarists say there could be any number of reasons why the bees are deserting their hives and presumably dying off in large numbers, including changing weather patterns and mite or other kinds of infestations.
What they do agree on is that whatever is causing the phenomenon, known as colony collapse disorder (CCD), it is playing havoc with the production of honey and other products from the hive - and threatening the growing of fruit and vegetable crops, which depend on bees for pollination.
The small study, led by Prof. Jochen Kuhn of Landau University, suggests that radiation from widely used cellphones may mess up the bees' homing abilities by interfering with the neurological mechanisms that govern learning and memory. It also appears to disrupt the insects' ability to communicate with each other.

[From radiation may be killing bees
By Sheryl Ubelacker
Canadian Press
April 21, 2007]

Q & A

In this last weekend before the Pennsylvania primary, what do Barack Obama and Hillary Clinton have to do to win over late undecided voters?

Barack needs to stop bowling and start playing basketball.
Hillary needs to stay away from Dick Cheney’s guns .

Why do both Hillary Clinton and John McCain target Barack Obama with virtually the same criticisms?

Two bullies are charging the other big bull.
Clinton and McCain (I suppose most candidates) dig deep into the mud to sling their balls at the other candidate.

American voters see right through this "Monkey see-Monkey Do-doo Business".

They'll vote for the other candidate.

Clinton and McCain are each shooting their respective feet as they stomp through the smelly sponge cake.

How much is the Iraq war to blame for the state of the U.S. economy?

Much
Much
Too
Much.
Bush's war has sucked the lives out of millions of Iraqis and injured thousands and thousands of American soldiers.
The state of our nation's economy is in very, very sad shape.
But George W. Bush thinks that we must surge on in Iraq.
Forget our schools, our roads, and our own people.
America is paying much for the hubris of George W. Bush.
With blood and money.
Bush and Cheney should be impeached for what they have done to the United States and its economy...
Oh, and let's not forget the Constitution.

READING BETWEEN THE CABBAGE LINES

April 19, 2008

President Bush Participates in Joint Press Availability with President Lee Myung-Bak of the Republic of Korea
Camp David

[Below is an abbreviated script with Mad Plato’s words between brackets.]

PRESIDENT BUSH:

Welcome. We're glad you're here, Mr. President, and we're glad you brought Mrs. Kim. We had a wonderful dinner last night, and looking forward to having lunch, too, today.

[But, please, no more Kim Chee for me]

We've had great visits. And this is an important visit for me to get to know you. I heard about your background. [And you know mine]. I admire your strength of character, and this is an important visit to strengthen the relationship between our two countries and I believe we have done so.

President Lee is the first Korean President to visit Camp David. And I don't know if the American citizens understand your nickname -- you're known as the "Bulldozer."

[I’m known as the Deceiver…I mean the Decider]

(Laughter.)

I like his spirit, I like his candor, and I like his optimistic vision.

[And I like his wife]

But most of all I really appreciate his values.

Korea has asked to upgrade its foreign military sales status with the United States and to have the same access to U.S. military technologies as NATO and other key allies, and I strongly support this request and have instructed Secretaries Rice and Gates to work with the Congress to get this done.

[Our GNP depends upon the sales of more weapons not fewer]

President Lee and I discussed our mutual concern for the human condition in North Korea.

[Shouldn’t I say the inhumane conditions?]

We are -- our hearts break when we hear these stories of families that have been torn apart or people being subjected to harsh work camps because of their beliefs.

[My Iraq war has given us a lot of untold stories of families that have been torn apart and blown up, and are subjected to harsh conditions because of so little electricity, poor sanitation, meager amounts of food and clean water]

And then of course we talked about our economy.

[What a mess it is]

As a former CEO, President Lee understands the importance of trade. First of all, I want to thank you, Mr. President, and I appreciate your decision to reopen the Korean market to American beef -- consistent with international standards. This is good news for Korean consumers and it's good news for American beef producers. As a matter of fact, we had some good American beef last night for dinner. (Laughter.)

[But I prefer good American Armadillo]

And then finally we talked about our mutual desire to have a rational, practical approach to international climate [Because all nations have climate, I call it international].

So we had a great discussion. Really appreciate you coming. And Mr. President, the podium is yours

[And the opprobrium is mine]

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

SIS WORDS

Here are some words that end in the letters sis and what they mean.

If the meanings aren’t correct, please let me know.

SIS = (Greek > Latin: a suffix; actor, process, condition, or state of; result of; expresses a state or condition of)

ankylosis – The condition of an ankle after it is sprained

antithesis – When two ants have an opposing thesis

arsis – The condition that results from excessive sitting

babesiosis – The process of seeing a lot of babes

basis – A sheep who “bays” instead of “bahs”

candidiasis – The process of being straightforward

catharsis – The condition that cats get from excessive sitting

chassis – When a car chases your sister

crisis – When your sister cries a lot

elephantiasis – The condition elephants get from wearing ties

frontogenesis – The process of creating front porches or breasts

gaposis – The condition the mouth develops from staying open all the time

genesis – Creation of the gene pool

hypothesis –Thesis of a hippopotamus

lordosis – The condition of constantly saying, “Oh Lord”

mitosis - The splitting of my toes

neurosis – The process of cultivating new roses

synthesis – The process of joining sins

toxicosis – What a British citizen says when a taxi fare costs too much

telekinesis –Watching TV with your kin

trichinosis – The condition of having three chins

whatsis – What is this?

whoosis - How an owl asks “Who’s this?”

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!

DOOMSDAY

One of the illusions of life is that the present hour is not the critical, decisive hour. Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year. No man has learned anything rightly, until he knows that every day is Doomsday.

Ralph Waldo Emerson

I have never believed doomsday predictions.

2012 was supposed to be a bad year.

Remember Y2K?

Many people moved out of the U.S.

Many people loaded up on “survival” supplies of food.

I joked that I had bought a lot of peanut butter.

Doomsday is not a book.

Well, actually it is:

Doomsday Book is a 1992 science fiction novel by American author Connie Willis.

The cries for food and water are getting louder.

Higher prices for food and fuel continue to rise.

Aliens and asteroids will not end the world.

Humans are doing the dooming all by themselves.

Don't give God the credit or blame.

IT'S ABOUT RENEWABLE RESOURCES!
**********************

Fire and Ice

By Robert Frost

Some say the world will end in fire;

Some say in ice.

From what I've tasted of desire

I hold with those who favor fire.

But if it had to perish twice,

I think I know enough of hate

To know that for destruction ice

Is also great

And would suffice.

***********************

The End Of The World
By

Archibald MacLeish

Quite unexpectedly, as Vasserot
The armless ambidextrian was lighting
A match between his great and second toe,
And Ralph the lion was engaged in biting
The neck of Madame Sossman while the drum
Pointed, and Teeny was about to cough
In waltz-time swinging Jocko by the thumb—
Quite unexpectedly the top blew off:
And there, there overhead, there, there hung over
Those thousands of white faces, those dazed eyes,
There in the starless dark the poise, the hover,
There with vast wings across the cancelled skies,
There in the sudden blackness the black pall
Of nothing, nothing, nothing—nothing at all.