READING BETWEEN THE WHITE LINES

May 28, 2008

President Bush Delivers Commencement Address at United States Air Force Academy
Air Force Academy
Colorado Springs, Colorado

[THIS IS AN ABBREVIATED VERSION]

THE PRESIDENT:

Thank you. Mr. Secretary, thank you for the kind introduction. General Moseley, General Regni; Mr. Congressman, thank you. Academy staff and faculty, distinguished [AND DISGRUNTLED] guests, and proud family members. I am so pleased to stand [INSTEAD OF FALLING DOWN FROM ALCOHOL OR LADY SNOW] before the future leaders of the United States Air Force.

I have something I'd like to say to the Cadet Wing: Class of 2008!

(Applause.)

Yes, that's good. I was a little worried you we're going to yell: "Give him the Bird!"

[SINCE YOU DIDN’T I WILL, BUT I GUESS I ALREADY HAVE]

(Laughter.)

You're the 50th graduating class in the history of the Air Force Academy. Each of you has worked hard to reach this moment. You survived "Beast".[BUT NOT ME]

(Applause)

The Superintendent informs me that some of you are still on restriction.

(Laughter.)

I hereby absolve all cadets who are on restriction for minor conduct offenses.

[I JUST HOPE MY OWN EXECUTIVE CONDUCT OFFENSES RECEIVE ABSOLUTION]

(Applause.)

As for your grades, well, some things are even beyond the powers of the President.

[AS YOU RECALL, I WAS A C STUDENT AT YALE]

(Laughter.)

In becoming officers of the United States Air Force, you have chosen a vocation that is both hazardous and rewarding. As a former F-102 pilot, I know the exhilaration of flight.

[ON AND OFF OF THE FAST WHITE LADY]

As the son of an aviator who was shot down in combat, I know its perils.

[I PLAY VIDEO GAMES, TOO]

In both the 20th century and today [IS IT THE 21^ST OR THE 22^ND?], defeating hateful ideologies requires all elements of national power, including the use of military power

[DIPLOMATIC POWER CAN GO TO HELL AND STAY THERE!]

The military power that you will wield in your military careers is much more precise and effective than in past generations. When the United States entered World War II, the age of long-range bombing was just beginning. There were no computer guidance [WRONG VERB…SHOULD HAVE BEEN was NO COMPUTER GUIDANCE], no GPS targeting, or laser-guided munitions [OR MUNCHIES]. The allied bombing raids against Germany and Japan resulted in horrific civilian casualties and widespread destruction. [MY IRAQ WAR HAS ONLY KILLED ABOUT A MILLION PEOPLE AND ORPHANED ANOTHER 4 MILLION] It took nearly four years before the regimes in Berlin and Tokyo finally capitulated [IRAQ MIGHT TAKE FIFTY YEARS] -- with difficult battles from the deserts of North Africa to the forests of France, to the islands of the Pacific.

Another challenge of asymmetric warfare is that it requires patience.

[AND MANY WOUNDED PATIENTS]

Our new enemies know they can't defeat us militarily.

[BUT CAN WE DEFEAT THEM MILITARILY? REMEMBER VIETNAM?]

So their strategy is to cause us to lose our nerve and retreat before the job is done.

[MY JOB AS THE DECIDER IS TO KEEP REPEATING “NO RETREAT UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE”…”NO RETREAT UNTIL THE JOB IS DONE”…]

They take advantage of the information age and the 24-hour news cycles, creating images of chaos and suffering for the cameras [ACTUALLY, I’VE CREATED THE CHAOS AND SUFFERING…THE MEDIA JUST SHOWS THE IMAGES], in the hope that these images will horrify the American people [WHO HATE ME] [AND THE IMAGES DO HORRIFY THE AMERICAN PEOPLE] and undermine resolve and morale here at home [JUST AS I HAVE UNDERMINED MORALS HERE AT HOME] This means that to win the first war of the 21st century, we need to prevail not just in the battle of arms [AND HEADS AND LEGS], but also in the battle of wills. [I STILL NEED TO MAKE MINE OUT]

And we need to recognize that the only way America can lose the war on terror is if we defeat ourselves [OR IF A PRESIDENT DEFEATS AND BANKRUPTS THE COUNTRY WITH HIS UNNECESSARY WAR WHICH CREATED THE WAR ON TERROR]

(Applause.)

Imagine if a President had stood before the first graduating class of this Academy five decades ago, and told the Cadet Wing that by the end of the 20th century, the Soviet Union would be no more, communism would stand discredited, and the vast majority of the world's nations would be democracies. The Cadets probably would have said he had done one too many Chariot Races.

[AND ONE TOO MANY SLEIGH RIDES]

(Laughter.)

This is the last time I'll address a military Academy commencement as the President. Over the past eight years, from Annapolis to West Point, to New London, to Colorado Springs, I have looked out at the best young men and women our nation has to offer -- and I have stood in awe. And I stand in awe again today.

[JUST AS YESTERDAY I STOOD IN SHOCK AND AWE WHEN I BOMBED IRAQ]

Thank you. May God bless, and congratulations to the Class of 2008.

(Applause.)

IT'S THE OIL STUPID!