WORDS THOUGHT BUT NEVER SPOKEN DURING THE FINAL DEBATE

“They’re angry, angry, angry.”
[And Sarah and I have made them so]

“I’ll use a hatchet…then I’ll get a scalpel.”
[But a laser would be less invasive]

"I know how to save billions.”
[And Cindy knows how to spend millions]

“It’s completely out of control.”
[And so is my campaign]

“Americans are hurtin…and they’re angry…they want a new direction…”
[My friends, if I’m elected I will become a circle]

“I’ve got the scars to prove it.”
[I hope I’m not using this torture thing too much]


“The tone of this campaign
could have been very different.”
[But when you’re losing you have to change the tone]

“We will run a truthful campaign. This is a tough campaign.”
[But if the truth runs away that’s just tough]

“She’s a reformer.”
[…a nimrod…a slayer]

“Americans have gotten to know Sarah Palin.”
[They know that she doesn’t know very much and she doesn’t want you to know it]

“She’s a “freath” of “bresh” air.”
[After all, she comes from Alaska]

“Her husband is a pretty tough guy, too.”
[But is he as tough as a moose?]

“She’s excited the base in the Republican Party.”
[And their excitement has turned pretty base]

Why can’t we have more transparency?
[Like an amoeba]

“Canadian oil is fine.”
[I like Canola oil myself]

“Wind…solar…natural gas…wind…solar…natural gas…”

[Nuclear pants…]

“I so much admire Senator Obama’s eloquence…”
[That I’m jealous]

“We have to drill now.”
[Maybe I should have been a dentist]

“I am a free trader.”
[Not a terroristic traitor]

“Free trade with Columbia is a no-brainer.”
[But my friends, I have a head that can make us billions]

“Senator Government…Senator Obama…”
[I should have practiced my lines more]

“We’ve got too much government and too much spending.”
[Thanks to eight years of a BURNING BUSH]

“Education: It’s the civil rights issue of the twentieth century.”
[Or twenty-first]




IT'S THE OIL STUPID!