COSMIC DUST BUSTER

The Cosmic Dust has landed!
The Stardust spacecraft has returned to Earth after seven years of gathering stardust.
What will the dust tell us?
How many atoms can dance on the head of an angel?
Were humans deposited in such dust billions of years ago?
Is our DNA in the cosmic dust?
Hold on to your hats and get ready to find out in the coming months.

DEMOCRACY IS MESSY AND EXPENSIVE

"What we do know about this pervasive wiretapping virtually compels the conclusion that the President of the United States has been breaking the law repeatedly and persistently."
"This Administration has come to power in the thrall of a legal theory that aims to convince us that this excessive concentration of presidential authority is exactly what our Constitution intended."

Al Gore, Former Vice-President of the United States, 2-16-2006


Keep paying those taxes!
George W. Bush has your number!
The buck won't stop at his desk, because that buck and two trillion (or MORE!) is the price tag for his Iraq war:

"In a paper presented to this week’s Allied Social Sciences Association annual meeting in Boston MA., Harvard budget expert Linda Bilmes and Columbia University Professor and Nobel Laureate Joseph E. Stiglitz calculate that the war is likely to cost the United States a minimum of nearly one trillion dollars and potentially over $2 trillion."

The War President doesn't work on the cheap. HE DEFINITELY IS SPENDING CAPITAL:

YOUR CAPITAL!

Thousands of American soldiers have been wounded, thousands and thousands and thousands of Iraqi civilians have been killed, and over two-thousand American soldiers have been killed.

The President isn't too bothered by these figures.
Like his Secretary of War Donald Rumsfeld, the War President probably believes that "Democracy is messy."

But don't worry. If the Democrats win in 2008, our taxes will increase so that Dubya's folly gets paid off.

Democracy!
Iraq!
What a mess!

OXYMORON OF OXYMORONS

Imagine your house getting bombed by another country's military.
Imagine that all members of your family (including you) are killed.
The United States is again using its military intelligence (Oxymoron of oxymorons)!
The U.S. thought it was bombing Osama bin Laden's top lieutenant Ayman al-Zawahri.
But oops! He wasn't there.
But innocent women and children were.
"The strike left three homes hundreds of yards apart in ruins. People in the area said the blasts could be felt miles away."
"Doctors told the AP that at least 17 people died, including women and children, but residents put the death toll at more than 30." (MercuryNews.com)
Now, citizens in Pakistan are loudly protesting this attack.
Can we blame them? The U.S. is becoming more and more like terrorists that it is hunting for.
It's shameful and criminal! But, we are the good guys in the white hats who are fighting for peace, freedom and democracy!
And The American way!
How violent and ruthless it can be!

DEATH

My theory about death bothers others.

My theory is as follows:
Death usually comes about from one of the following:

1. Heart attack/Heart failure

2. Cancer

3. Automobile accidents

Yes, there is drowning, electrocution, asphixiation, gunshots etc.
But the top three causes are listed above.
Sorry about the grim truth, but it won't kill you...
well, I guess it will.

VISIT TO A SMALL ICE DWARF

"Just as a Chihuahua is still a dog, these ice dwarfs are still planetary bodies." Dr. Alan Stern, Southwest Research Institute

Pluto.

Not the Disney dog.

An ice dwarf and outer most planet of our solar system.

Ice dwarves are more common than rocky inner worlds such as Mercury and Earth.

Again, earth is unique...at least in this solar system.

The spacecraft will be launched on Tuesday.

Its initial velocity will be 36,000 miles per hour.

It will pass the moon in 9 hours and reach Jupiter in 13 months.

Earth's denizens will know more about Pluto in 2015 when the mission called New Horizons gets close to Pluto and its three satellites.

Maybe dogs will be found there.

WORLD'S TOP 10 THREATS

1. Arnold Schwarzenegger on a Motorcycle
2. George W. Bush
3. Dick Cheney
4. Condoleeza Rice on a Mushroom Cloud
5. Karl Rove
6. Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
7. Pat Robertson
8. Super Storms
9. Bird Flu
10. Al-Qaeda.

GAS WARS AND ALTERNATIVE ENERGY

I can remember way back during the Carter administration the talk about developing alternative energy sources. Other administrations did a lot of talking about it, too.

Then there was Clinton. (His own energy was certainly not conserved while he was in the Oval Office.)

America has kept up the talk for decades about developing alternatives to the voracious appetites of the consumer and the owners for petroleum. But all of this talk has been for naught. It was all a lie. It was all JUST TALK!

The United States should have already arrived at a solution for its excessive dependence upon petroleum. The profits, however, were (and are) more important than peace and health.
The Iraq war, President Bush has reminded us a couple of times in the past few weeks, was not about oil. Right. And Florida is not about tourism or oranges.

The peace and tranquility of the planet is now threatened because the U.S. still can not smell the coffee (not oil)... because its fat proboscis is filled with the vapors of petroleum!

I read many years ago how the major automobile corporations were not willing to replace their car blocks with anything that did not run off of gasoline. They (the car companies) could have started making the transformation YEARS AGO, but they, along with the corporate petroleum owners (here and abroad), were making too much money to go in the direction of alternative energy sources.

Thus, we have ourselves in the noose of wars (with or without terrorism) because we, and other nations, are battling for the land with the most oil.

It is laughable and absurd for anyone to believe President Bush when he says that the Iraq war is not at least in part a war about strategic (and national security) concerns for obtaining the black gold!

Americans will have to choke on the gas fumes and out-of this-world prices at the gas pump before they will wake up. Or, maybe not. Maybe we will continue to pay whatever it costs to keep running our gaseous machines. Maybe we will tolerate the trillions of dollars we spend for wars (and the lives sacrificed) as long as we can continue to have our petroleum!

SOME WORDS FROM HELL

"Our enemies are innovative and resourceful, and so are we. They never stop thinking about new ways to harm our country and our people, and so do we." George W. Bush, August 5, 2004

Well, we're here in Hell now so we have to do the best we can.
My critics believe that it was wrong to go to Hell, and I understand that, but we must put out the fires here or they will spread to the Homeland.
It is better to to defeat Evil here in Hell than to defend ourselves at home.
I know that Satan wants to hurt Americans. He is Terrorist numero uno. But as long as I am your commander-in-chief, Satan will not win under my watch. (Speaking of watch, what time is it?)
The United States will stand down in Iraq as soon as Iraqis can stand on their own.
It's a hell of a fight because we are in Hell!
If I have to torture, then I will torture. If I have to spy, then I will spy.
As your president I have your welfare at heart. Nobody in Hell is going to tell me how to be president. They can go to Hell...whoops, we're already in Hell.
O.K. I have to get back to Crawford. It's my one little spot of Heaven to get away from this Hell.

ON PAT ROBERTSON

Pat Robertson.
Have you taken a close look at his head?
What went wrong with this noggin?
If any head might ever be that of an evil alien, Pat Robertson takes the cake.
The brain?
This palace of the soul is a steaming cesspool, and a large serpent is writhing within its grey matter and spitting out of Robertson's mouth foul and sulphurous words.
This is one very deranged dude.
God ought to stop returning his phone calls, and people watching Robertson should do the same.

ALLAH IS GREAT! I AM CRAZY! BOMB IRAN!

My name is Mahmoud Ahmadinejad.
As you know, I am now the world's number one vato loco.
I am saying asinine things to get the U.S. so mad that they will start a war with my nation.
That is why I am denying the Holocaust.
That is why I am encouraging Israel to be destroyed.
Boy, am I a big, stupid idiot or what?
So, Iran shall continue its Nuclear Power Plant programs.
Yes, we want our nukes too.
If Israel, Pakistan, China, Russia, India, France, Great Britain and the United States [Have I forgotten anyone?] can have their Nuclear Bombs, then Iran should be able to have them too.
Go ahead Neo-Cons!
Follow your leader and bomb Iran!
I am ready for Armageddon!
Allah is Great!
I am crazy!

OUT OF THE FIRE IN IRAQ AND INTO THE HELL OF IRAN

Kissinger: Don’t Exclude Military Action Against Iran if Negotiations Fail

"Former Secretary of State Henry A. Kissinger, in a wide-ranging discussion of foreign-policy issues, says he is disturbed at the possibility that Iran will develop nuclear weapons know-how if current negotiations to stem Tehran’s nuclear program fail. In fact, he says, Iran’s program is more worrisome than the crisis over North Korea’s nuclear weapons."
"He says that if Iran secures nuclear weapons, nonproliferation may cease to be a “meaningful policy, and then we live in a world of multiple nuclear centers. And then we’d have to ask ourselves what the world would look like if the [terrorist] bombs in London [on July 7] had been nuclear and 100,000 people had been killed.” Asked if he favored military action against Iran if diplomacy failed, he says, “I’m not recommending it but, on the other hand, it is a grave step to tolerate a world of multiple nuclear weapons centers without restraint. I’m not recommending military action, but I’m recommending not excluding it.”

Kissinger was interviewed by Bernard Gwertzman, consulting editor of cfr.org, on July 14, 2005.


"It (the Bush administration) has no aims other than more oil and gas because Cheney had a study done about a year ago, that by the year 2020 the entire world would be practically out of fossil fuels. They're going to grab all of it and the biggest supply is in the Caspian area and all those countries whose names end in 'stan'. That's what our eye is on."
GORE VIDAL, December 34, 2003


"Intelligence and military sources in the United States and abroad are reporting on various factors that indicate a U.S. military hit on Iranian nuclear and military installations, that may involve tactical nuclear weapons, is in the final stages of preparation."
"In a counter-attack, Iran would immediately launch its Shahab I and II missiles at the U.S. Green Zone in Baghdad, the Al Udeid airbase in Qatar, the US Navy base in Bahrain, Camp Doha base in Kuwait, Al Seeb airbase in Oman, Baghdad International Airport, the U.S. base in Kandahar, Afghanistan. Iran would also launch its long-range Shahab III missiles on the Israeli cities of Tel Aviv, Haifa, Beersheba, Eilat, and the Israeli nuclear complex at Dimona. Iranian missiles would also be launched at US naval ships in the Persian Gulf and oil installations in Saudi Arabia and Kuwait."
"The virtual end of NATO as a viable defense organization may also result from an attack that will drive a final wedge between Washington and Europe. And China may elect to respond financially and militarily against the United States since Iran is China's second largest source of imported Middle East oil after Saudi Arabia and plans to use an Iranian terminal for the export of natural gas from Turkmenistan. [China now imports 60 percent of its oil needs, and Iran represents 17 percent of those imports]."
Intelligence Indications And Warnings Abound On Bush Iran Military Strike, Wayne Madsen, rense.com, 1-3-06


"Both (Charles) Krauthammer and (Zbigniew) Brzezinski represent the core constituencies that are running the country and setting its policy. Their debate informs us, that the question of “regime change” in Iran has already been settled; the only questions remaining are “when, and by what method?”
"These developments should alert the world to the fact that Iran needs help. Those nations who grasp the urgency of the situation should be considering military aid. (be that conventional weaponry or WMD) Iran should be provided with the wherewithal to defend itself against the likelihood of attack. Instead, the UN is more concerned with negotiating the requirements of a "trigger mechanism" with the US; a mechanism that will be used to justify US military action against Iran."
"Once again the UN is assuming its traditional role as fig leaf for American warmongering."
"It is clear, by the rhetorical battle being waged in American newspapers that Iran is in imminent danger. Leaders who still value the notion of national sovereignty (as well as regional peace) should assist Iran in creating a viable and visible deterrent to further US aggression. By now, all should recognize that the US war machine will not be deterred by good intentions and lofty language. Weaponry alone will decide who prevails in the Iran. We don’t need another Iraq."
Shifting the War to Iran, Mike Whitney,www.globalpolicy.org, July 29, 2004

BUSH FIRES

What will George W. Bush do in 2006, 2007 and 2008?
What will the apparatus of his dictatorial-like administration conger in order for him to continue to elude and delude the American public?
Bush's defensive-offense began before Christmas.
His domestic spying is on the front burner and he wants the fire extinguished.
The New York Times might have foiled the 2004 election of George W. Bush if it had informed the voting public about his spying prior to the election.
More and more it seems that American media are paid pawns who pander in favor of the authoritarianism of the Burning Bush.
Blowhards such as Limbaugh, Coulter and Hannity claim that the Burning Bush is innocent and good. These Republican shills still deny the mistake of the Iraq war and ignore and deny the fake reasons for the invasion.
Even Bush admits it (sort of).
He must show some Christian contrition for his inept and iniquitous war.
Fire and Rain.
Which of these will be the stronger force for the Burning Bush this year?
Stay tuned and get involved.

RESOLUTIONS!

1. PRAY MORE (TO AN UNKNOWN GOD said Steinbeck).
2. BUY MOST OF THE MUSIC OF JETHRO TULL, THE BEATLES & THE ROLLING STONES (Of course with the LYRICS).
3. GET AN EYE EXAMINATION!
4. GET A PHYSICAL (BEFORE THE BIG ONE)!
5. STOP THINKING ABOUT SEX EVERY 30 SECONDS!
6. SAVE MONEY!
7. READ MORE!
8. WRITE MORE!
9. SWEAR LESS!
10. BUY A NEW BED (With Space-Age Comfort!).

IMPEACH! IMPEACH!

Oust top two

"It is time to hold impeachment hearings. How much more should we endure? The top two, Bush and Cheney, need to go."
"First, intelligence was manipulated to win approval to go to war in Iraq. There were no weapons of mass destruction. No link to al-Qaida was confirmed. Uranium sales to Iraq from Africa did not occur. Why? Because it was fabricated by the top two and their associates."
"And now the most egregious act of all is occurring, spying on U.S. citizens without authorization from the court. This is the ultimate of crimes the top two have committed."
"They are certainly setting a bad example to the rest of the world in terms of manifesting ethical democratic principles. Instead, they are exemplifying dictator-like behavior."
Olivia Chavez, El Paso Times, December 28, 2005


Bush was denied wiretaps, bypassed them

WASHINGTON, Dec. 26 (UPI) -- U.S. President George Bush decided to skip seeking warrants for international wiretaps because the court was challenging him at an unprecedented rate.

A review of Justice Department reports to Congress by Hearst newspapers shows the 26-year-old Foreign Intelligence Surveillance Court modified more wiretap requests from the Bush administration than the four previous presidential administrations combined.

The 11-judge court that authorizes FISA wiretaps modified only two search warrant orders out of the 13,102 applications approved over the first 22 years of the court's operation.

But since 2001, the judges have modified 179 of the 5,645 requests for surveillance by the Bush administration, the report said. A total of 173 of those court-ordered "substantive modifications" took place in 2003 and 2004. And, the judges also rejected or deferred at least six requests for warrants during those two years -- the first outright rejection of a wiretap request in the court's history.



"The precedent for Alberto Gonzales' declaration that Bush is the law was Reich Minister of Justice Franz Gurtner, who agreed in a cabinet meeting on 3 July 1934 that "Hitler was the law." Bush's claim that extraordinary powers are necessary for him to be able to defend our country under extraordinary circumstances is identical to Hitler's claim that he was entitled to ignore the rule of law because he was "responsible for the fate of the German nation and thereby the supreme judge of the German people." What is the difference between HItler's claim and the US Department of Defense's claim that President Bush has the right to violate domestic and international laws?"
"America's Moral Crisis, a History of Hitler's Secret Prisons and a Brief on the Illegality of Bush's War", Paul Craig Roberts, CounterPunch, December 28, 2005


"With ruthless logic Higgs (Resurgence of the Warfare State) shreds every claim of the Bush administration and its apologists. Reading Higgs leaves no doubt that the Bush administration's invasion of Iraq was an illegal act based in deception. Under the Nuremberg standard established by the US itself, Bush's invasion is a war crime. Widespread slaughter of the civilian Iraqi population and torture of detainees are also war crimes. In one of his best chapters Higgs destroys the claim that US "smart weapons" are expressions of our morality in warfare because they target only enemy combatants."

"Higgs explains that the accuracy within a few yards of smart weapons is meaningless. The blast, heat, and pressures from the weapons destroys everything within 120 yards of the hit. No one within 365 yards can expect to remain unharmed. Injuries can extend to persons 1000 yards away from the blast. The odds are zero, Higgs writes, that the use of such weapons on towns and cities will not kill and maim large numbers of civilians."

"And they have done so. American forces in Iraq have killed far more Iraqi civilians than they have insurgents. It is safe to say that Iraqis never experienced such terror from Saddam Hussein as they have experienced from the American invasion and occupation."

"Bush claims that his war crimes are justified because they are committed in the name of "freedom and democracy." The entire world rejects this excuse. Sooner or later even Bush's remaining Republican supporters will turn away in shame from the dishonor Bush has brought to America."
"America's Moral Crisis, a History of Hitler's Secret Prisons and A Brief on the Illegality of Bush's War", Paul Craig Roberts, CounterPunch, December 28, 2005



"The International Monetary Fund (IMF) approved a $685 million loan for Iraq on December 24."
" Iraq will not be sovereign or independent in the near future, even if President Bush says so. The country's financial future will instead be dictated by a new colossal economic occupation, complete with ground forces, tanks, foreign military bases and the like-all thanks to the United States, Britain and the IMF."
And of course democracy will never be truly attainable or even really wished for by the IMF and their wealthy investors-the country will just become another playing ground for imperial endeavors and capitalist greed. So much for independence, for no country is truly free and democratic when placed under the boot of the industrialized world. Markets consistently undermine democracy when motivated by self-interests, and Iraqi citizens are not likely to benefit in any real terms under the IMF's new loan package, which will be divvied out over the next 15 months."
"Don't believe for a minute that Iraq will be able to shake off globalism's ravenous greed anytime soon-even if US troops are redeployed. Capitalism's tentacles are now fully attached to Babylon, as if they weren't already, and the oil will be flowing shortly. Even if US troops are redeployed, or god forbid, brought home, the occupation of Iraq will nonetheless continue."
"Let the Drilling Begin: Iraq's IMF Loan", Joshua Frank, CounterPunch, December 28, 2005

CHRISTMAS AT CRAWFORD

"Come on in Dick & Rummy.
Got a fire going, and Laura's cooking the turkey.
It's time for some down-time away from Comealot."
"Our war in Iraq is still a good bet to secure Congress for the GOP in 2006. And if we can just get a stalemate by 2008 we may be able to hold on to the White House."
"Laura, how much longer is that turkey going to cook? It feels like it's been over a week since you put that thing in the oven."

"Well, Dick how's the old ticker these days?"

"Rummy, how's the production of your Tamiflu coming for the pandumic?"

"Oh, hold on fellows. I've got an incoming phone call." (The president picks up an unbugged phone.)
"Hello. Yes, this is Dubya. Who is this? The NSA. Right. Keep the surveillance going. Christmas is no time to take a vacation or let any calls slip by us.
I'll worry about what's legal and what's not legal at a later date."
"All of these liberals are squealing like poked pigs about this war, its torture, the wrong Intel...and now all of this hollering about my electronic surveillance.

I've got this job to protect Americans.
I can't help it if the Consitution gets a little trampled on. I have to protect this country from the terrorists who are fighting to take away our Freedom and kill us all.

It's not popular, but I'm doing all of this for the good of the nation."

"I hear it's time for some turkey, gentlemen. Come on, let's go dig in before the food gets cold."

NOTABLE QUOTES

"In two-and-a-half years Bush has succeeded in creating two new Talibans in Iraq."
Ghassan Attiyah, an Iraqi commentator.


"...There has been nothing in our time like the Bush Administration's obsession with secrecy. It's an old story: the greater the secrecy, the deeper the corruption."
Bill Moyers

"We're seeing clearly now that Bush thought 9/11 gave him license to act like a dictator, or in his own mind, no doubt, like Abraham Lincoln during the Civil War."
Jonathan Alter, Newsweek, 12/19/05

"Secondly, there are such things as roving wiretaps. Now, by the way, any time you hear the United States government talking about wiretap, it requires -- a wiretap requires a
court order. Nothing has changed, by the way. When we're talking about chasing down terrorists, we're talking about getting a court order before we do so. It's important for our fellow citizens to understand, when you think Patriot Act, constitutional guarantees are in place when it comes to doing what is necessary to protect our homeland, because we value the Constitution."
George W. Bush, April 2004, At a Town Hall meeting in Buffalo

"It is true that [Hussein] systematically concealed those [WMD] programs, and blocked the work of U.N. weapons inspectors. He was given an ultimatum - and he made his choice for war."
George W. Bush

"But it is not true that Hussein blocked the work of U.N. weapons inspectors. In fact, he acquiesced to a U.N. ultimatum and let them back into Iraq in November 2002. Chief inspector Hans Blix said his team was finally given free rein to examine suspected WMD sites, but Bush forced the inspectors to leave so the invasion could proceed."
And...
"Bush continues to discuss al-Qaeda as if it is a powerful international force on par with Nazi Germany or Soviet Russia, when many analysts see it as a fringe organization that was driven out of most Islamic countries, almost to the ends of the earth - or in this case to the mountains of Afghanistan."

"Without doubt, al-Qaeda-inspired terrorists exploited a letdown in U.S. security in 2001 to conduct an extraordinary attack on New York and Washington, but a realistic assessment of its actual clout is important in calibrating a response."

"If al-Qaeda is actually a marginal organization that can be isolated even more by the West adopting a respectful approach to the Muslim world, then Bush's approach of invading Arab countries - and curtailing American liberties - makes no sense, unless Bush's real motives are something else: say, controlling Middle East resources and transforming the United States into a modern one-party state with him or his allies in permanent control."
Robert Parry, The New Madness Of King George, 12/19/05, rense.com

"H.Res.635, asks that the Congress establish a select committee to investigate whether members of the administration made moves to invade Iraq before receiving congressional authorization, manipulated pre-war intelligence, encouraged the use of torture in Iraq and elsewhere, and used their positions to retaliate against critics of the war."
"The select committee would be asked to make recommendations regarding grounds for possible impeachment of Bush and Cheney."

"The second resolution, H.Res.636, asks that the Congress to censure the president "for failing to respond to requests for information concerning allegations that he and others in his Administration misled Congress and the American people regarding the decision to go to war in Iraq, misstated and manipulated intelligence information regarding the justification for the war, countenanced torture and cruel, inhuman, and degrading treatment of persons in Iraq, and permitted inappropriate retaliation against critics of his Administration, for failing to adequately account for specific misstatements he made regarding the war, and for failing to comply with Executive Order 12958." (Executive Order 12958, issued in 1995 by former President Bill Clinton, seeks to promote openness in government by prescribing a uniform system for classifying, safeguarding, and declassifying national security information.)"

"A third resolution, H.Res.637, would censure Cheney for a similar set of complaints."
"The people of this country are waking up to the severity of the lies, crimes, and abuses of power committed by this president and his administration," says Jon Bonifaz, a co-founder of the AfterDowningStreet.org coalition, an alliance of more than100 grassroots groups that has detailed Bush administration wrongdoing and encouraged a Congressional response. Bonifaz, an attorney and the author of the book, Warrior King: The Case for Impeaching George Bush (Nation Books), argues that, "Now is the time to return to the rule of law and to hold those who have defied the Constitution accountable for their actions."

"Bonifaz is right. But it is unlikely that the effort to censure Bush and Cheney, let alone impeach them, will get far without significant organizing around the country. After all, the House is controlled by allies of the president who have displayed no inclination to hold him to account. Indeed, only a few Democrats, such as Conyers, have taken seriously the Constitutional issues raised by the administration's misdeeds."
"Members of Congress in both parties will need to feel a lot of heat if these improtant measures are going to get much traction in this Congress."
John Nichols, Raising the Issue of Impeachment, The Nation [THE ONLINE BEAT], 12/20/05

Stop throwing the Constitution in my face! IT'S JUST A GODDAMNED PIECE OF PAPER!

HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE SLEEPING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE DREAMING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE PEEPING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE SCHEMING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE EATING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE LEAKING!
HE KNOWS WHEN YOU ARE SPEAKING!
HE KNOWS WHAT YOU ARE THINKING!
WHO IS HE?
WRONG!
NOT SANTA CLAUS!
IT'S GEORGE W. BUSH!

BUSH ABSOLUTELY HAS OUR NUMBER

"The NSA has been spying on Americans for decades and Echelon has had the capability to track every communication in real time for at least ten years."

Alex Jones & Paul Joseph Watson, 12/20/05, prisonplanet.com



Mad Plato has just learned that Homeland Security's TIA (or
Terrorist Information Awareness) has been monitoring some recent phone
calls made by Mad Plato.
Words that are inside of TIA's computer database, which indicate
some type of potential terrorist activity, will trigger the computers to
cherry-pick such words out of the air from telephone conversations, and
then store them inside of TIA computers for review and analysis.
Here are some pieces of conversations that have been intercepted by TIA:

"Hi Mad Plato. Boy, the party at Sharon's last week was a real bomb!"

"By the way, Bill, were you planning to fire any rockets this Fourth
of July?"

"Yes, Bill, I'll be heading with Aziz, Mark, and Robin to the retreat
next week."

"Wow! I bet you had a blast in Spain last weekend."

So, citizens, be careful what you say on the telephone. Homeland
Security is listening to you. What you say may reward you with a visit
by an agent of Homeland Security. Wait, I hear a knock at my door right
now...and the phone is ringing. I must go. Goodbye.

THE UNPATRIOTIC ACT

"Yes, we are with Homeland Security and we are going to review your library records.

As an American, you will cooperate with us.

The Patriot Act is now a mighty and holy law.

Nobody is immune to its powers.

Let's see.

Here we have a 12 year-old patron who is reading about Osama bin Laden. She is now under suspicion for supporting terrorism.

Ah ha! Here is a seven-year old reading about camels. She definitely is on our terrorism list!

We will also need a printout of all of your patrons and the books that they have read since 9-11.

If you resist, and say no, we will have to arrest you, and close your library.

Thank you for your cooperation.

Protect the Homeland! VICTORY!"

READING BETWEEN THE LINES

"I see some of the political leaders who are here, and I presume you've invited me to uphold the scholars' end." (This sure beats holdin' up the end of my horse's member.)

"In the war on terror, Iraq is now the central front.." (Gee, that word front makes it sound like I'm hiding something.)

"And as millions of Iraqis prepare to cast their ballots..." (Many more soldiers will prepare to be put into casts.).

"I want to talk today about why we went into Iraq, why we stayed in Iraq, and why we cannot - and will not - leave Iraq until victory is achieved." (Just don't ask me what is meant by victory.)

"We are living through a watershed moment in the story of freedom." (And many thousands have 'drowned'.)

"We saw the destruction terrorists could cause with airplanes loaded with jet fuel - and we imagined the destruction they could cause with even more powerful weapons." (And our imagination was like an LSD trip...and we saw what we needed to see!)

"He [Saddam Hussein] had pursued and used weapons of mass destruction. He sponsored terrorists." (And the United States provided the materials for making those weapons, just as the U.S. sponsored and supported Saddam in his war against Iran.)

"We are in Iraq today because our goal has always been more than the removal of a brutal dictator; it is to leave a free and democratic Iraq in its place." (Along with American military bases and Halliburton.)

"The enemy of freedom in Iraq is a combination of rejectionists and Saddamists and terrorists." (Not just rejects and Sodomists.)

"History has shown that free nations are peaceful nations." (Uhhh...was Germany a free nation? A peaceful nation? Has America's history been peaceful?)

"As we advance the cause of freedom in Iraq, our nation can proceed with confidence because we have done this kind of work before." (In the Phillipines...Nicaragua...Iran...Chile...etc)

"The people of Iraq are now seeing some of the tangible benefits of their new democracy. They see that as freedom advances, their lives are improving." (But water and electricity are not. Reconstruction money is either lost or used to pay for security.)

"And they see that freedom is bringing opportunity and a better life." (Plus more bombs and radiation from Depleted Uranium weapons.)

"As Iraqis stand up, we will stand down. And when victory is achieved, our troops will then come home, with the honor they have earned." (After about 100 years.)

"Most of the debate has been a credit to our democracy, but some have launched irresponsible charges. They say that we act because of oil, that we act in Iraq because of Israel, or because we misled the American people."
(And they're right...huh...huh.)

"These charges are pure politics." (Pure politics? This is an oxymoron!)

"They hurt the morale of our troops." (And highlight the poor morals of our policies.)

"Before this victory comes, we still have a lot of difficult work ahead."
(Rome was not built in a day and the road to hell is paved with good intentions.)

"So we can expect violence to continue." (War is Peace. Freedom is Slavery.)

"We may not know for certain who's won the elections until the early part of January - and that's important for our citizens to understand. It's going to take a while." (Remember my first election.)

"The work ahead will also require continued sacrifice." (Remember the Aztecs.)