NEW TERRORIST THREATS

NEW TERRORIST THREATS

By Mad Plato

Mad Plato has just learned how Michael Chertoff and Homeland Security have obtained their latest information about potential terrorist attacks.

We were fortunate enough to be on the scene when these revelations came to light.

Cameras were set up outside of Homeland Security office(s).

National Security, of course, prevents us from giving details of the exact location(s).

Michael Chertoff and some other high-level HSS [Homeland Security Staff] were sitting at a large, pentagon-shaped table. A lamp dangled low, illuminating the bizarre scene.

Tarot Cards, dice, skull and bones, cat entrails, burning incense, a crystal ball, a Ouija board, and Bill Clinton voodoo dolls were all spread out upon the table.

Unfortunately, at one point the batteries in our cameras went dead, and so we could not go on filming.

Nevertheless, a brief glimpse was made into the nature of these latest Homeland Security threats and how they might be determined. Stay tuned and dial a prayer.