THE PRESS CONFERENCE

THE PRESS CONFERENCE

By Mad Plato

During the prime-time presidential press conference a nonplused gallery of reporters found themselves spinning thumbs and wiggling legs, staring in stunned disbelief as the President of the United States fielded reporters' questions and attempted to answer them.

Many things were the same, but something was missing [not the WMD].

The president's answers were often grabbing at straws, while his iridescent tie radiated its mysterious rainbow colors into the television's camera eye.

The tie seemed to be addressing the nation: "I MAKE NO MISTAKES AND I WILL CHANGE THE WORLD."

One reporter kept his mouth open the whole time. In Astonishment? Or perhaps only to gape for additional oxygen that would energize his brain cells so that they could keep up with the cloudy and defensive answers of the president.

The president also failed to disguise his perplexity and anger with some of the reporters' questions, when like cruise missiles, the questions penetrated his Yale-trained, Skull and Bones mind.

But the president's synapses continued their circumlocution, and ignited a few agitated neurons to become niggling non-sequitur answers.

The historic press conference was a dizzying experience for all Americans to undergo, and yet this president can still exude his special charisma even when the answers are still full of chiaroscuro.