Thursday, July 12, 2007

TERRORISM AND GUT FEELINGS


Michael Chertoff here.

I've stopped using anti-acids.

My gut now tells me that some bad things might happen in our nation this summer.

Homeland Security wants me to bring my stomach in and have it examined.

But I may have to invoke national security and executive privilege.

Like Dick Cheney, I don't want any of my private part(s) pried upon or into.

So far our nation has been without any new terrorist attacks.

But my gut now tells me that this is going to change.

(Plus, the public needs a much needed injection of fear.

After all, there is an election coming up.)

When I know for certain that my stomach is giving me accurate INTEL, I shall immediately inform Homeland Security and other national agencies who need to know what my gut is communicating.

Thank you.

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